Fame

I was just on Yahoo! and there was an ad for credit scores or something. It was using the image of George Washington... and I got to thinking.

Many people want to be famous, but did George Washington want that? Was he a kid my age thinking to himself, "Golly-gee, I sure hope that I can be famous some day." No. At least I don't think so. He just had goals for himself, and was in the right place at the right time. It is selfish to aspire to fame and fame alone.

Someday, if I keep to my own goals, if I graduate with a degree in History, go on to Law, get involved in politics, then maybe my image will be recognized... or maybe it won't... or maybe I will decide that I don't want to go into law or politics, that I want to marry a glass blower and live on a commune... So what?

Ok... So I still have a hard time accepting my unfame... but... whatever.

Today is our last day in Nebraska. I don't like it. While I am looking forward to getting back to school, where I have motivation and can get things done, it has been far too nice out here.

We get to see the play today. Finally! after all this anticipation. I am looking forward to it, though word on the street is that it's not their best work. We'll have to see for ourselves.

Ribs!!!

I had ribs for lunch today. Kathleen, Lauren and I went to Whiskey Creek, and it was delicious. I also got a sweet potato which was fantastic.

Last night we wasted 7 hours. After dinner we watched TransAmerica. We liked it, and then... I spent about an hour trying to find an Oregon Trail Deluxe emulator, but only got the original... Kathleen and Tad Drowned, and I think I got Typhoid. Someday, I guess I will have to buy the Deluxe version for my computer, then it will be just like my young days when Ashley and I played it over and over and over...

Then I chatted on Facebook, and eventually watched the last half of Jesus Camp with Kathleen on her computer, and the first part of "Because the Bible tells me so" which was a documentary on homosexuality and Christianity.

It made me quite upset.

Today we got up earlyish and ran errands. I bought ANOTHER Tom Robbins book. "Wild Ducks Flying Backward." I hope it isn't possible to read too much Tom Robbins. It would be awful to start hating him. Awful. I also hope that Kathleen enjoys him. It would be ever so embarrassing.

Now we are watching Sonny with James Franco in it. He is a very good looking man.

Hooray!

Hail Nebraska

Look at me! 3:24 in the AM. I am awake. Awake. Alert. Caffeinated.

I think I am redeveloping my sensitivity to Caffeine. Perfect timing eh? 7 months into my college career... or maybe it is just allergies... but that means that I have allergies... ugh.

Well, I am in Nebraska! I have been since Friday. Kathleen, Tad and I left after our classes around twelve thirty, and drove 7 hours out here. Since then we have been eating GOOD food, and hanging out with cool people, and having an all around GREAT time.

We went to the Omaha Zoo on Saturday, and I wish I would have blogged about that earlier, because now, at this hour, and this state of mind, all I can think of to say is that, "it was cool." My favorite parts were the Tapirs, and the QUOKKAS! (I had to end this blog last night because I got distracted to look up what the were. All we could remember was that they ended with an "Ah" sound, and that they looked like they were part rabbit, kangaroo and squirrel. We also discovered what "Pademelons" are too!

So, we dropped off Dylan around 6am this morning, and then we went to bed. It actually took me a while to fall asleep though, because I had a whole can of Rockstar in me. That stuff is terrible. My mind raced through so many thoughts. I planned out the rest of my life.

After Law school, I am going to become an apprentice of a glass blower in Ohio to learn that trade. Perhaps I will do some research on the side... meanwhile, I will fall in love with an attractive young artist and live happily ever after. Sound like a good deal? I think so.

The rest of today was mellow. ... Especially since I slept until one. I haven't been reading Dorian Gray, and what I did read of the Introduction just made me mad. I have made a lot of progress in Half Asleep in Frog Pajamas, and I really enjoy it. A lot.

Now? ... I should type the senate minutes. blah.

Priorities...

Things I want to do:
* Listen to Miles Davis
* Read Watchmen so I can figure out WHY people like the Comedian and Rorshauch so much
* Draw

Things I have to do:
* Write 4 pages on the historical events that occurred during Anne Moody's life
* Read at least 50 or so pages of Dorian Gray ( <3 style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">)
* Do laundry
* Clean

Things I wish I had done and now am regretting:
* Gone bowling with Augsburg Recovery

So.
This is where I stand. A side of me wants to say, "well... you HAVE to do laundry anyway, why not read Watchmen? But I can't because I have to read Dorian Gray, which makes me joyous... but ... Watchmen?

THen the paper. It will be a good paper. It's about a STORY. A story and how a woman's life was influenced by her time and history. That's what I want to DO for a living. This paper should be a breeze.

And I regret...
Ever since Jeff spoke at the Student Senate meeting a few weeks ago, I have been interested in possibly being involved with his group, Augsburg Recovery. The group is a way for Step-up to be connected with the rest of campus and for students who want to have fun on Thursday nights without resorting to drugs and alcohol, and they have a bunch of cool things planned. Tonight they went bowling. All week I have been thinking about how much fun it would be to go bowling, how I like it, and how it would be a way to meet new people... but I am shy. I use that as an excuse, as well as, "Well... I won't know anyone ... so it will be awkward." Which completely defeats the point of "meeting new people."

Today before dinner, Jeff asked me if I was going... and I had to say no. I felt awful, because I would have at least known Jeff! Sure, I have a ton to do anyway... but I could have done it afterwards... (no I couldn't have) but... I just feel like I should have gone.

That's what's eating me right now.

I promised to keep you informed on the Senate's decisions of last night. I won't go into extensive detail (my 13 pages of notes do that well enough) but in the end Asac and Kaug were both recommissioned with some stipulations, and I think Link got chartered. The meeting lasted until 11:23pm.

Don't tell anyone, but I secretly really enjoy long meetings.

Appeals!

March eleventh, 2009. Student Senate Special meeting for the appeals of Asac and Kaug. They do not wish to be chartered, and would much prefer to keep their Commissioned status.

I am pretty excited, though there will be a TON of notes, I am glad that there is one more meeting.

And they arrive! Tons of them. Tons of avid supporters. This will be extreme.

Updates later.

Trimethylxanthine and the delicate perfume of the pink-flowering thorn

I am in love.
Yes, Love like nothing I will ever experience. True love, like my marriage to the stars. Unrequited, pure, wholesome, ever-lasting love!

11:11 make a wish

But to my love... it is known that I have had a crush on Oscar Wilde since I was fifteen. I even recall vividly, sitting at fence with the Herp Society, Kraken entwined in my fingers, passing the time by day dreaming. My mind was not filled with the faces of handsome young actors. Not Orlando Bloom, or Jake Gyllenhaal... but images of myself wearing high collared gowns, gawdy hats, laced heeled shoes, and long cigarettes. Of course, I was in the company of Mr. Wilde, and as we smoked our long cigarettes, we spoke of frivilous matters... but I knew I fascinated him. In our banter of light topics, we grew into deep societal discussions, debates, disagreements and consent. We laughed heartily...

Such were the fantasies of 15 year old Lily Morris.

I haven't come far from that... and this evening, as I sat down with the Portrait of Dorian Gray times 2, I absorbed each word individually... slowly... sweet, Sweet ambrosia of the mind.

I am not reading to get through it to say I did this time. I am reading it to get into the soul. Like the artist puts himself into the canvas, the writer to the script, and I, as the reader am responsible for soaking in each bit of text and finding the blood within it... transfusing it into myself, and becoming not just Lily Morris, but a depository for the emotions of the past.

As a lover of Oscar Wilde, my duty is to preserve. ... and some day, when Fahrenheit 451 goes down, it will be I, sitting by the riverside, reciting passages of the Too resplendent sun, who hurries the pallid and reluctant moon, back to her cave, 'ere she hath won, a single ballad of the nightengale.

Speaking those words aloud, just as he wrote them... just as he might have spoken them... a century ago.

My body is shaking after that first chapter... but I also realize that that could be accounted for by the caffiene in my small, sensitive system.

I drank a Mountain Dew after 8. That pretty much means that any attempts at sleep will be futile... and who would WANT to sleep when you've got energy, Dorian Gray, and a pulsing artistic flow?

Everything that I need to get done will get done... and I even plan on going back to my room tonight and making at least one art card with the box of pencils my Mom gave me. I am thinking that I will use my sketch of Galaxy that I did last summer... before she died. :( ... BUT HOW COULD I SELL THAT?! It will hold too much of my self! My dear, dear rabbit... the plump, single baby with chocolate spots... Bastard child of Celestial Beauty and a dastardly mini rex buck... Rest In Peace Morris's Galaxy...

But I digress.

Home was beautiful, and I am glad I went, and I am equally glad that I have again returned to my College. Yes yes yes.

Chick-a-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee!

When will I learn that when I feel a blog a-tinglin' inside me, I've got to BLOG it, before I go on facebook and have the muse subsequently die?

I'll try to bring it back.

I have just returned to my room. This morning I woke up in time to do my Student Senate Office hour, when I should have worked on the beastly minutes, but instead chatted with a fest friend... then I went to the Financial Aide office and was shown that the FAFSA is not a big scary beast as I have been lead to believe. All I have to do is file my taxes, and it pretty much does itself. Whew!

Also this morning I realized that I CAN GO HOME THIS WEEKEND! Visser and I are going to go to the Fridley Speech Meet, where I will judge, and then I will ride the bus HOME! I will have the rest of Saturday, all of Sunday, and Monday morning with my lovely parents, cat, and dog. Oh! How wonderful!

My window is open, and the blinds drawn up. It is by far the most beautiful day of the year. Yesterday, I was musing on how nice it was, and that was before the sun came out! Now, with each glance out my window, there is more muddy brown earth exposed in Murphey park. After I practiced this morning, it was a struggle to keep myself from falling to my knees in front of Christensen to press my nose to the soil and take a big breath. ... Ah... yes... I can do that tomorrow at home. No one will judge me. :)

Even the breeze wafting through my window is fragrant, and every so often I hear the Chick-a-dees with their "Spring's here" call. Spring time in the city!

In my recent "I like" blog, I mentioned reading. I had forgotten the love that reading and I once shared... and now, with spring arising, our affair is taking on a new flame. I used to read all the time, but when school started last fall... we had a falling out. Reading was too needy, too urgent and demanding... he also became dense and oftentimes boring. No longer did I come to him out of my own free will, and I ceased to enjoy his company.

Now, with "Coming of Age in Mississippi" assigned, and a little more time to read for fun, it feels like the honey-moon all over again. Just this afternoon, after lunch, I read a few articles in the Echo, and the first chapter of "Watchmen."

When Scott found out I hadn't read "Watchmen" yet, he promptly mailed it to me! It came today! I set about reading it, like a task so I can finish it before I see the movie... but then, in the Echo, I read what Collin Stanhill had to say about it, and I now see that I must go about my reading at a different level. I need to pay closer attention to the frames, and even the colors! Mmmmm... Yum.

I really like the Echo. Perhaps I'll get involved next year.

(though I must say that the horoscopes were a bit harsh this time around!)

There is no band today, and there was no History due to the Peace Prize forum, so aside from my tour in a few minutes, I am done for the day. Much more time for reading!