It's 8:19am. I am sitting on my couch, already sinking into despair.
I don't know how I am going to finish this semester. I have a 10 page coin project,10 page Foucault project, and a 6-8 page Post Colonial research project.
Each alone wouldn't be so bad, but I have approximately two weeks to do them all.
And on top of that, I am far behind, and my mind is not on my side.
Jessica Nathanson was a hero of mine.
I don't want to get teary and expressive. I can barely talk to my friends about it, much less a faceless blog.
I took Thursday and Friday off, and didn't do anything responsible on Saturday or Sunday. If riding a bike isn't responsible... I guess that counts for physical health.
And now, even though I thought I stepped off the train of emotional turmoil, I think I am still on it.
My counselor at the CCHP the day I found out (before I found out) told me about the train, and how I need to know when to get off, or else I will let it carry me too far. It's nice being on the train. You don't have to ask questions.
Meanwhile, life continues and projects become due.
70 degree highs, a wonderful bicycle, yard sales and a new Netflix account woo me.
Cameron still has Jessica's Men's Studies book. We're going to study it on our own this summer. He told me about an article concerning men in women dominated jobs and how World War II messed everything up.
I love WWII as a turning point...
But then I get sad... because the only reason I can even THINK about Men's Studies and gender roles is because of Jessica Nathanson.
I want to carry on the legacy, but I am weak. My passions are aimless.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
Spring
My last post was about starting Foucault, and just last night, I finished it.
How could I have known what that relationship would become! Never have I read something so critically. 250 pages, and EACH page has underlines and margin notes.
Our relationship will change now. What used to be the simple act of hanging out now has to turn into active research and writing.
I am on the third floor of the library, in a corner I've never used before between the study rooms and the conference space with big windows. After this post, I am going to crank out at least three over due reading responses for Post Colonial Fiction.
For that class, I am half way through "Cracking India" by Bapsi Sidhwa. It is really good, and I love the main character, "Lenny." She's 7 and absolutely nutty. I am scared though, because she lives in Lahore, and things are starting to go down. People are going to die. It's going to break my heart.
I love tragic coming of age stories. See also, "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn" by Betty Smith and "The Heart is a Lonely Hunter" by Carson McCullers.
Maybe someday I will become a professor of the history of the thought of coming of age and girlhood.
Anyway.
This weekend was a great one. On Saturday I rode the two the The Wilde Roast Cafe to meet Visser. The windows on the bus were open, and the people watching was prime. The Cafe was wonderful too. We talked the whole time about theory as pretentiously as we could, because we were with each other. Visser is taking what sounds like a really really really awesome English class, and I am going to email her professor to see if I can sit in on it one day.
When Visser and I got back to Augsburg, we tried to build a fire in Murphey park, but failed. I am strongly considering disowning myself as my father's daughter.
Today, I signed a housing contract with Janelle for the summer. We applied for a 2 person, 2 bedroom in Luther. It's kind of pricey, but it will go onto my financial aid account, and I will have my own room for four months before sharing a space with 15 others. I am very excited, but both of us hate doing dishes...I guess if we both hate it, we can't be mad at the other for being lazy right?
It should be fun. I am definitely getting into summer prep.
Yesterday, I started plotting my trip to visit Martin in Amherst. I can get there on the Megabus for only $50 (compared to $160 on the cheapest flight). It's a bit indirect however, which only means that I will get to have mini-side trips in Chicago, Cleveland, Pittsburgh, New York and Washington D.c. Then, on the way back, I fully intend to stop for a few days in Asheville, North Carolina. There's a hostel there that looks lovely, and it is right above a brewery. I am hoping to get cheeseburgers and fancy beer with Australians... or whatever fellow travelers I happen to be sharing a bunk with. As for Amherst, I will be spending at least a week at Martin's house. Cousins are the best!
Iowa is calling me with nostalgic tones. I want to go back to Decorah with Fred and Colin, almost 3 years and many changes later. Lake Okibojee's gotta happen too. :)
Morris/Lewis Family reunion in August in Detroit to celebrate Camillo's marriage.
Colin still wants to go to Colorado. Cameron wants to go to the Grand Canyon. I need a job.
I have a job actually. Last week, I emailed Dino's saying that I really enjoyed working with them, and would like to see if they had any place for me this summer. Alysia replied right away, and I am meeting with her on Wednesday to discuss my "opportunities." She said that I was one of their favorite workers. That makes me happy, because I DID enjoy working for them. A summer with Dino's could mean art fairs, sporting events or even a place at one of their stores. It also means busy shifts that fly by and leave me with money in my pocket, and sacks full of gyros to keep me sustained.
But if I am going to be working for them, I don't want to have to say, "Oh yeah, but I need ALL this time off." Hopefully they will be understanding.
I have a crush. I don't know how to deal with it. I am kind of dopey.
I made a bet with Alex. I won.
How could I have known what that relationship would become! Never have I read something so critically. 250 pages, and EACH page has underlines and margin notes.
Our relationship will change now. What used to be the simple act of hanging out now has to turn into active research and writing.
I am on the third floor of the library, in a corner I've never used before between the study rooms and the conference space with big windows. After this post, I am going to crank out at least three over due reading responses for Post Colonial Fiction.
For that class, I am half way through "Cracking India" by Bapsi Sidhwa. It is really good, and I love the main character, "Lenny." She's 7 and absolutely nutty. I am scared though, because she lives in Lahore, and things are starting to go down. People are going to die. It's going to break my heart.
I love tragic coming of age stories. See also, "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn" by Betty Smith and "The Heart is a Lonely Hunter" by Carson McCullers.
Maybe someday I will become a professor of the history of the thought of coming of age and girlhood.
Anyway.
This weekend was a great one. On Saturday I rode the two the The Wilde Roast Cafe to meet Visser. The windows on the bus were open, and the people watching was prime. The Cafe was wonderful too. We talked the whole time about theory as pretentiously as we could, because we were with each other. Visser is taking what sounds like a really really really awesome English class, and I am going to email her professor to see if I can sit in on it one day.
When Visser and I got back to Augsburg, we tried to build a fire in Murphey park, but failed. I am strongly considering disowning myself as my father's daughter.
Today, I signed a housing contract with Janelle for the summer. We applied for a 2 person, 2 bedroom in Luther. It's kind of pricey, but it will go onto my financial aid account, and I will have my own room for four months before sharing a space with 15 others. I am very excited, but both of us hate doing dishes...I guess if we both hate it, we can't be mad at the other for being lazy right?
It should be fun. I am definitely getting into summer prep.
Yesterday, I started plotting my trip to visit Martin in Amherst. I can get there on the Megabus for only $50 (compared to $160 on the cheapest flight). It's a bit indirect however, which only means that I will get to have mini-side trips in Chicago, Cleveland, Pittsburgh, New York and Washington D.c. Then, on the way back, I fully intend to stop for a few days in Asheville, North Carolina. There's a hostel there that looks lovely, and it is right above a brewery. I am hoping to get cheeseburgers and fancy beer with Australians... or whatever fellow travelers I happen to be sharing a bunk with. As for Amherst, I will be spending at least a week at Martin's house. Cousins are the best!
Iowa is calling me with nostalgic tones. I want to go back to Decorah with Fred and Colin, almost 3 years and many changes later. Lake Okibojee's gotta happen too. :)
Morris/Lewis Family reunion in August in Detroit to celebrate Camillo's marriage.
Colin still wants to go to Colorado. Cameron wants to go to the Grand Canyon. I need a job.
I have a job actually. Last week, I emailed Dino's saying that I really enjoyed working with them, and would like to see if they had any place for me this summer. Alysia replied right away, and I am meeting with her on Wednesday to discuss my "opportunities." She said that I was one of their favorite workers. That makes me happy, because I DID enjoy working for them. A summer with Dino's could mean art fairs, sporting events or even a place at one of their stores. It also means busy shifts that fly by and leave me with money in my pocket, and sacks full of gyros to keep me sustained.
But if I am going to be working for them, I don't want to have to say, "Oh yeah, but I need ALL this time off." Hopefully they will be understanding.
I have a crush. I don't know how to deal with it. I am kind of dopey.
I made a bet with Alex. I won.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
The Use of Pleasure... in Homework?
For some reason I feel the most need to blog when I am crazy busy with no REAL time to spare.
It is almost ten on Saturday morning. In two and a half hours until the CAO leadership somethingorother I said I'd go to for Senate, and History Club. That lasts until four, and then ... well, I guess I will have a few hours before going to the Acadia to celebrate Ali's getting into grad school. Before I can dream of grad school, let's talk about all the great stuff I'll be doing this week!
My assignment book for today reads:
Morning w/ Visser, Central Library- Never happened :(
Lingerie? - probably won't happen, but I DO need lingerie.
Bar w/ Ali
Too Much Love- I don't want to go to Too Much Love. I want to stay here and watch cartoons with Alan.
Also:
Apply for Jobs, internships
Noon Rally at Capital-- CAN'T GO BECAUSE OF CAO!!!
Read: Polybius, Foucault
~~~
I've heard that Polybius is boring, so I think if I read anything it is going to be "The Use of Pleasure" by Michel Foucault... or maybe his Short Introduction-which I got from the mail room yesterday... and read during economics.
I am really excited about Foucault. For Queer Studies, I had originally thought about doing my paper as a historic analysis of the significance of Molly Houses and gay bars for networking... but my interest waned, and I ended up not doing the required work... So I talked to Professor Lowe yesterday, and now I am super jived up to write about Foucault. My thesis is going to be something along the lines of, "What the ___ Is Foucault trying to say in the second volume of his History of Sexuality?" It's great, because though Foucault comes up all the time, I don't really know that much about him, so this paper will help me get started. So I want to do that... and I know that I can't justify sleeping, or being lazy any longer for any reason, because while I did work hard this week, I could have worked harder, and I have no excuse.
I also need to do a Queer studies post class response from two classes ago. :P pphhhhbbt.
Oh, and let's see, what else:
My Abeng rough draft. I submitted my first three, hastily written pages for peer review on Thursday, and my peers were very helpful. Now I need to finish that by next Thursday.
Besides that, I guess it's not so bad (NOT REASON ENOUGH TO BE LAZY!)
My unstarted numismatics(study of coins) project is looming in the background, as well as the nagging internship and job gremlins that will not let me rest until I apply for them... yet I can't bring myself to do it... just like I can't bring myself to loosen the strings on my guitar so it doesn't warp, even though it will take three seconds... brb.
I didn't want to do it because I tuned it up so nicely last week... but I'd rather tune it again, than not be able to play at all when the neck is bent... Sigh.
So, that was easy. Do I take that as initiative to kick it into 2nd gear? To put on some pants and start my day?
I think so.
Foucault!
It is almost ten on Saturday morning. In two and a half hours until the CAO leadership somethingorother I said I'd go to for Senate, and History Club. That lasts until four, and then ... well, I guess I will have a few hours before going to the Acadia to celebrate Ali's getting into grad school. Before I can dream of grad school, let's talk about all the great stuff I'll be doing this week!
My assignment book for today reads:
Morning w/ Visser, Central Library- Never happened :(
Lingerie? - probably won't happen, but I DO need lingerie.
Bar w/ Ali
Too Much Love- I don't want to go to Too Much Love. I want to stay here and watch cartoons with Alan.
Also:
Apply for Jobs, internships
Noon Rally at Capital-- CAN'T GO BECAUSE OF CAO!!!
Read: Polybius, Foucault
~~~
I've heard that Polybius is boring, so I think if I read anything it is going to be "The Use of Pleasure" by Michel Foucault... or maybe his Short Introduction-which I got from the mail room yesterday... and read during economics.
I am really excited about Foucault. For Queer Studies, I had originally thought about doing my paper as a historic analysis of the significance of Molly Houses and gay bars for networking... but my interest waned, and I ended up not doing the required work... So I talked to Professor Lowe yesterday, and now I am super jived up to write about Foucault. My thesis is going to be something along the lines of, "What the ___ Is Foucault trying to say in the second volume of his History of Sexuality?" It's great, because though Foucault comes up all the time, I don't really know that much about him, so this paper will help me get started. So I want to do that... and I know that I can't justify sleeping, or being lazy any longer for any reason, because while I did work hard this week, I could have worked harder, and I have no excuse.
I also need to do a Queer studies post class response from two classes ago. :P pphhhhbbt.
Oh, and let's see, what else:
My Abeng rough draft. I submitted my first three, hastily written pages for peer review on Thursday, and my peers were very helpful. Now I need to finish that by next Thursday.
Besides that, I guess it's not so bad (NOT REASON ENOUGH TO BE LAZY!)
My unstarted numismatics(study of coins) project is looming in the background, as well as the nagging internship and job gremlins that will not let me rest until I apply for them... yet I can't bring myself to do it... just like I can't bring myself to loosen the strings on my guitar so it doesn't warp, even though it will take three seconds... brb.
I didn't want to do it because I tuned it up so nicely last week... but I'd rather tune it again, than not be able to play at all when the neck is bent... Sigh.
So, that was easy. Do I take that as initiative to kick it into 2nd gear? To put on some pants and start my day?
I think so.
Foucault!
Monday, January 31, 2011
Ice Cream
I am hiding in my room as Erica, Matt, Jack and Jenny are in the living room. I was reading Chinua Achebe's Things Fall Apart, and people came over just as I was finishing the assigned portion.
Then we went to Urness for ice cream. On the 9th floor we filled our bowls with ice cream, and then worked our way down, stopping on each floor getting toppings. Magdalen was on the 7th floor, and she gave us crushed Oreos. Thank you, Res Life!
I wanted to go to sleep long ago.
This weekend was fun. Friday was the All Nighter. I volunteered through all of it for Mary who helped organize it with ASAC. I helped make signs, handed out pop corn, and after Bo Burnum I helped clean up. It was a very rewarding experience, and I think I had more fun volunteering than I have had attending in the past. I also played Dodgeball. My team consisted of me, Steve and J-Steve, but then another Steve, and two others joined us. We played two matches and lost both, but it was still a lot of fun.
On Saturday, Erica and I went grocery shopping together for the first time. We ran into Alex on the way to Seward, and discussed dinner plans. I thought that I was exempt from the dinner at Ali's because I was going to Burlesque with Alan, but as it turned out Alan was going to dinner too, so I got to go after all. Alex made delicious squash ravioli, and Erica made a salad. From there, Alan and I went to Lili's Burlesk Review's Best of the Midwest for the Third year in a row, and it was, as always, magnificent.
Jazz band run out on Sunday morning, and after a whole day of sleeping, lounging and watching How I Met Your Mother, Jenny and I adventured to Dinkytown for tacos at Burrito Loco.
Then, I had a date to watch Requiem for a Dream. *Shudder
Then we went to Urness for ice cream. On the 9th floor we filled our bowls with ice cream, and then worked our way down, stopping on each floor getting toppings. Magdalen was on the 7th floor, and she gave us crushed Oreos. Thank you, Res Life!
I wanted to go to sleep long ago.
This weekend was fun. Friday was the All Nighter. I volunteered through all of it for Mary who helped organize it with ASAC. I helped make signs, handed out pop corn, and after Bo Burnum I helped clean up. It was a very rewarding experience, and I think I had more fun volunteering than I have had attending in the past. I also played Dodgeball. My team consisted of me, Steve and J-Steve, but then another Steve, and two others joined us. We played two matches and lost both, but it was still a lot of fun.
On Saturday, Erica and I went grocery shopping together for the first time. We ran into Alex on the way to Seward, and discussed dinner plans. I thought that I was exempt from the dinner at Ali's because I was going to Burlesque with Alan, but as it turned out Alan was going to dinner too, so I got to go after all. Alex made delicious squash ravioli, and Erica made a salad. From there, Alan and I went to Lili's Burlesk Review's Best of the Midwest for the Third year in a row, and it was, as always, magnificent.
Jazz band run out on Sunday morning, and after a whole day of sleeping, lounging and watching How I Met Your Mother, Jenny and I adventured to Dinkytown for tacos at Burrito Loco.
Then, I had a date to watch Requiem for a Dream. *Shudder
Friday, January 21, 2011
Reel Love
I just went to "Reel Love," a student starred, produced, written and directed play at Sateren Auditorium.
My friend Jack has been working on it for a really long time, so I went to see him.
Turns out there were a lot of awesome people in it, and the play ROCKED.
Go see it.
My friend Jack has been working on it for a really long time, so I went to see him.
Turns out there were a lot of awesome people in it, and the play ROCKED.
Go see it.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
About what I said about posts in January...
Oops.
Classes started yesterday, and I am feeling really happy about being here, even though I've forgotten what I am supposed to do with "homework."
Later, I will read all about the splendid Alexander the Great, some excerpts from Conrad's "Heart of Darkness" which I really wanted to read last semester, and should have read over break because it related to Mary Kingsley, and finally chapter 2 of my Intro to Queer Studies book. Mmmm.
Today, as I waked from Oren back to the Enrollment Center (stay tuned), I felt awash with goodness, the same feeling I had nearly THREE years ago when I was still just fantasizing about being an Auggie in Minneapolis, but new and evolved and enriched. :)
I've gotten to know a lot of people, and I see many of them every day, and we say hi to each other!!!
So, my deal with the Enrollment Center was that I realized my Social Science requirement couldn't be filled by two Poli-Sci classes, so I had to enroll in... MICROECONOMICS at the last minute.
Yay.
(Not Yay).
On the bright side of that though, when I got to the classroom, my neighbor and Jazz band manager was there, so I sat next to him, and then some more people I knew came and sat by me. That's something I appreciate that I wouldn't have thought about 3 years ago. Sure, it goes along with being a small school, but how great is it to build relationships with people throughout your time here, on all different levels!
Ah yes.
Break finished up really well. I went to Duluth to spend some time with Rita, her Mom and Step-Dad, and my parents came up too. We walked 6 dogs by Lake Superior, and two fell in. Rita had to rescue them. Before she left, Rita visited me here in the City, and we went to Al's Breakfast over in Dinky Town which was one of her favorite places when she was in school at the U.
Then I rested.
Now, I am all confused because it's night time, and I am kind of sleepy and really just want to play on my computer and go to bed, but I think I should hit the library.
Classes started yesterday, and I am feeling really happy about being here, even though I've forgotten what I am supposed to do with "homework."
Later, I will read all about the splendid Alexander the Great, some excerpts from Conrad's "Heart of Darkness" which I really wanted to read last semester, and should have read over break because it related to Mary Kingsley, and finally chapter 2 of my Intro to Queer Studies book. Mmmm.
Today, as I waked from Oren back to the Enrollment Center (stay tuned), I felt awash with goodness, the same feeling I had nearly THREE years ago when I was still just fantasizing about being an Auggie in Minneapolis, but new and evolved and enriched. :)
I've gotten to know a lot of people, and I see many of them every day, and we say hi to each other!!!
So, my deal with the Enrollment Center was that I realized my Social Science requirement couldn't be filled by two Poli-Sci classes, so I had to enroll in... MICROECONOMICS at the last minute.
Yay.
(Not Yay).
On the bright side of that though, when I got to the classroom, my neighbor and Jazz band manager was there, so I sat next to him, and then some more people I knew came and sat by me. That's something I appreciate that I wouldn't have thought about 3 years ago. Sure, it goes along with being a small school, but how great is it to build relationships with people throughout your time here, on all different levels!
Ah yes.
Break finished up really well. I went to Duluth to spend some time with Rita, her Mom and Step-Dad, and my parents came up too. We walked 6 dogs by Lake Superior, and two fell in. Rita had to rescue them. Before she left, Rita visited me here in the City, and we went to Al's Breakfast over in Dinky Town which was one of her favorite places when she was in school at the U.
Then I rested.
Now, I am all confused because it's night time, and I am kind of sleepy and really just want to play on my computer and go to bed, but I think I should hit the library.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
There will Probably be lots of posts between now and January 18th
Because it's BREAK, and I am in Minneapolis.
You'll be getting an Augsburg play-by-play.
What I, Lily, do for fun.
Fun, when nothing else burdens my conscious. Oh yes.
Today, I went to Cub, loaded up with enough food to last me through break, and probably well into second semester. It weighed so much I called DPS to pick me up from the light rail, and my shoulders will probably be sore tomorrow.
Everything I need for various pastas, canned soups, and sandwiches. Last night, as I fell asleep, instead of thinking about boys like I usually do, I fantasized about all the food I was going to buy. I think I am most excited for the raviolis with sauce, and my avocados AND bacon, just like what Jacqui had at our History tea party.
Jenny says hi to my gentlereaders.
She just got back to my room, and we are super excited to put together the puzzle I bought for Erica for Christmas (we will put it back in the box, and Erica will never know the difference). We will also watch movies, and have a wonderful night, embracing the sweet frivolity of pseudo-adulthood as we wait for our Pizza-Hut $10 stuffed crust to arrive.
Happy New Year!
You'll be getting an Augsburg play-by-play.
What I, Lily, do for fun.
Fun, when nothing else burdens my conscious. Oh yes.
Today, I went to Cub, loaded up with enough food to last me through break, and probably well into second semester. It weighed so much I called DPS to pick me up from the light rail, and my shoulders will probably be sore tomorrow.
Everything I need for various pastas, canned soups, and sandwiches. Last night, as I fell asleep, instead of thinking about boys like I usually do, I fantasized about all the food I was going to buy. I think I am most excited for the raviolis with sauce, and my avocados AND bacon, just like what Jacqui had at our History tea party.
Jenny says hi to my gentlereaders.
She just got back to my room, and we are super excited to put together the puzzle I bought for Erica for Christmas (we will put it back in the box, and Erica will never know the difference). We will also watch movies, and have a wonderful night, embracing the sweet frivolity of pseudo-adulthood as we wait for our Pizza-Hut $10 stuffed crust to arrive.
Happy New Year!
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