It's 8:19am. I am sitting on my couch, already sinking into despair.
I don't know how I am going to finish this semester. I have a 10 page coin project,10 page Foucault project, and a 6-8 page Post Colonial research project.
Each alone wouldn't be so bad, but I have approximately two weeks to do them all.
And on top of that, I am far behind, and my mind is not on my side.
Jessica Nathanson was a hero of mine.
I don't want to get teary and expressive. I can barely talk to my friends about it, much less a faceless blog.
I took Thursday and Friday off, and didn't do anything responsible on Saturday or Sunday. If riding a bike isn't responsible... I guess that counts for physical health.
And now, even though I thought I stepped off the train of emotional turmoil, I think I am still on it.
My counselor at the CCHP the day I found out (before I found out) told me about the train, and how I need to know when to get off, or else I will let it carry me too far. It's nice being on the train. You don't have to ask questions.
Meanwhile, life continues and projects become due.
70 degree highs, a wonderful bicycle, yard sales and a new Netflix account woo me.
Cameron still has Jessica's Men's Studies book. We're going to study it on our own this summer. He told me about an article concerning men in women dominated jobs and how World War II messed everything up.
I love WWII as a turning point...
But then I get sad... because the only reason I can even THINK about Men's Studies and gender roles is because of Jessica Nathanson.
I want to carry on the legacy, but I am weak. My passions are aimless.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
Spring
My last post was about starting Foucault, and just last night, I finished it.
How could I have known what that relationship would become! Never have I read something so critically. 250 pages, and EACH page has underlines and margin notes.
Our relationship will change now. What used to be the simple act of hanging out now has to turn into active research and writing.
I am on the third floor of the library, in a corner I've never used before between the study rooms and the conference space with big windows. After this post, I am going to crank out at least three over due reading responses for Post Colonial Fiction.
For that class, I am half way through "Cracking India" by Bapsi Sidhwa. It is really good, and I love the main character, "Lenny." She's 7 and absolutely nutty. I am scared though, because she lives in Lahore, and things are starting to go down. People are going to die. It's going to break my heart.
I love tragic coming of age stories. See also, "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn" by Betty Smith and "The Heart is a Lonely Hunter" by Carson McCullers.
Maybe someday I will become a professor of the history of the thought of coming of age and girlhood.
Anyway.
This weekend was a great one. On Saturday I rode the two the The Wilde Roast Cafe to meet Visser. The windows on the bus were open, and the people watching was prime. The Cafe was wonderful too. We talked the whole time about theory as pretentiously as we could, because we were with each other. Visser is taking what sounds like a really really really awesome English class, and I am going to email her professor to see if I can sit in on it one day.
When Visser and I got back to Augsburg, we tried to build a fire in Murphey park, but failed. I am strongly considering disowning myself as my father's daughter.
Today, I signed a housing contract with Janelle for the summer. We applied for a 2 person, 2 bedroom in Luther. It's kind of pricey, but it will go onto my financial aid account, and I will have my own room for four months before sharing a space with 15 others. I am very excited, but both of us hate doing dishes...I guess if we both hate it, we can't be mad at the other for being lazy right?
It should be fun. I am definitely getting into summer prep.
Yesterday, I started plotting my trip to visit Martin in Amherst. I can get there on the Megabus for only $50 (compared to $160 on the cheapest flight). It's a bit indirect however, which only means that I will get to have mini-side trips in Chicago, Cleveland, Pittsburgh, New York and Washington D.c. Then, on the way back, I fully intend to stop for a few days in Asheville, North Carolina. There's a hostel there that looks lovely, and it is right above a brewery. I am hoping to get cheeseburgers and fancy beer with Australians... or whatever fellow travelers I happen to be sharing a bunk with. As for Amherst, I will be spending at least a week at Martin's house. Cousins are the best!
Iowa is calling me with nostalgic tones. I want to go back to Decorah with Fred and Colin, almost 3 years and many changes later. Lake Okibojee's gotta happen too. :)
Morris/Lewis Family reunion in August in Detroit to celebrate Camillo's marriage.
Colin still wants to go to Colorado. Cameron wants to go to the Grand Canyon. I need a job.
I have a job actually. Last week, I emailed Dino's saying that I really enjoyed working with them, and would like to see if they had any place for me this summer. Alysia replied right away, and I am meeting with her on Wednesday to discuss my "opportunities." She said that I was one of their favorite workers. That makes me happy, because I DID enjoy working for them. A summer with Dino's could mean art fairs, sporting events or even a place at one of their stores. It also means busy shifts that fly by and leave me with money in my pocket, and sacks full of gyros to keep me sustained.
But if I am going to be working for them, I don't want to have to say, "Oh yeah, but I need ALL this time off." Hopefully they will be understanding.
I have a crush. I don't know how to deal with it. I am kind of dopey.
I made a bet with Alex. I won.
How could I have known what that relationship would become! Never have I read something so critically. 250 pages, and EACH page has underlines and margin notes.
Our relationship will change now. What used to be the simple act of hanging out now has to turn into active research and writing.
I am on the third floor of the library, in a corner I've never used before between the study rooms and the conference space with big windows. After this post, I am going to crank out at least three over due reading responses for Post Colonial Fiction.
For that class, I am half way through "Cracking India" by Bapsi Sidhwa. It is really good, and I love the main character, "Lenny." She's 7 and absolutely nutty. I am scared though, because she lives in Lahore, and things are starting to go down. People are going to die. It's going to break my heart.
I love tragic coming of age stories. See also, "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn" by Betty Smith and "The Heart is a Lonely Hunter" by Carson McCullers.
Maybe someday I will become a professor of the history of the thought of coming of age and girlhood.
Anyway.
This weekend was a great one. On Saturday I rode the two the The Wilde Roast Cafe to meet Visser. The windows on the bus were open, and the people watching was prime. The Cafe was wonderful too. We talked the whole time about theory as pretentiously as we could, because we were with each other. Visser is taking what sounds like a really really really awesome English class, and I am going to email her professor to see if I can sit in on it one day.
When Visser and I got back to Augsburg, we tried to build a fire in Murphey park, but failed. I am strongly considering disowning myself as my father's daughter.
Today, I signed a housing contract with Janelle for the summer. We applied for a 2 person, 2 bedroom in Luther. It's kind of pricey, but it will go onto my financial aid account, and I will have my own room for four months before sharing a space with 15 others. I am very excited, but both of us hate doing dishes...I guess if we both hate it, we can't be mad at the other for being lazy right?
It should be fun. I am definitely getting into summer prep.
Yesterday, I started plotting my trip to visit Martin in Amherst. I can get there on the Megabus for only $50 (compared to $160 on the cheapest flight). It's a bit indirect however, which only means that I will get to have mini-side trips in Chicago, Cleveland, Pittsburgh, New York and Washington D.c. Then, on the way back, I fully intend to stop for a few days in Asheville, North Carolina. There's a hostel there that looks lovely, and it is right above a brewery. I am hoping to get cheeseburgers and fancy beer with Australians... or whatever fellow travelers I happen to be sharing a bunk with. As for Amherst, I will be spending at least a week at Martin's house. Cousins are the best!
Iowa is calling me with nostalgic tones. I want to go back to Decorah with Fred and Colin, almost 3 years and many changes later. Lake Okibojee's gotta happen too. :)
Morris/Lewis Family reunion in August in Detroit to celebrate Camillo's marriage.
Colin still wants to go to Colorado. Cameron wants to go to the Grand Canyon. I need a job.
I have a job actually. Last week, I emailed Dino's saying that I really enjoyed working with them, and would like to see if they had any place for me this summer. Alysia replied right away, and I am meeting with her on Wednesday to discuss my "opportunities." She said that I was one of their favorite workers. That makes me happy, because I DID enjoy working for them. A summer with Dino's could mean art fairs, sporting events or even a place at one of their stores. It also means busy shifts that fly by and leave me with money in my pocket, and sacks full of gyros to keep me sustained.
But if I am going to be working for them, I don't want to have to say, "Oh yeah, but I need ALL this time off." Hopefully they will be understanding.
I have a crush. I don't know how to deal with it. I am kind of dopey.
I made a bet with Alex. I won.
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