I am sitting at my awesome desk treating myself to an ice cold Dr. Pepper from the fridge. I have about an hour until we all meet for brunch.
I set the alarm on my phone for nine thirty this morning, but Soua got up at seven and then we decided to go to Target. There were only 4 students going to Target with somthing like 5 OLs. It was fun though. I bought a hair dryer, another waste basket for recycling purposes, and a water filter pitcher. Spending money is really starting to suck, and I am beginning to understand all the hype about being a starving college student. I want to buy snack food and fun stuff like that, but my money reserves are ever so slowly depleating. Snack foods will have to wait. From here on out I will exist on cafeteria food alone.
And the occaisional Dr. Pepper.
The idea that I am going to be staying here ALL winter comes in shocking little waves. Like last night when Marrta suggested (or ordered rather) that we stay up all night watching Across the Universe after watching 21 in Christianson center. After 21 I was too tired to even think of doing anything else, and I was bummed because I felt like we wouldn't have another chance... oh... wait... we have until May.
Before coming here, I talked to Nora who is going to the U. Hers, like the statuses of many on facebook, had to do with how terrible orientation week was. She told me it's like summer camp from Hell. In a way I agree. It's not that bad really, and I know it's necessary, but I'm reluctant to put myself out there to meet new people and do anything other than sit around in my room and play with my computer.
Last night in our Neighborhoods Dustin tried to teach us a game called "Wah." I thought it was cool, but it got too dark to play properly.
The speaker was good, though my mind was elsewhere. A lot of what he said was covered in "Real College." I thought it was neat that it takes 30 days to break a habit. That means that I have exactly one month to become a neat person. All my life I have lived a carefree existence. If, by September 30th, my dorm is still clean, I will be a changed person.
I look with sadness at the small pile of clutter already accumulated just inches from my laundry basket.
I tested out the showers today. There's definitely a system that must be developed. It's so hot, and I felt so gross that the shower was amazing. Too bad I'm just going to go back outside and get sweaty and gross again.
Ben and I crossed paths briefly yesterday. After all those excited and/or anxious text messages, you'd think that we'd have more to say to eachother... but I guess not. We can still be friends.
I still haven't seen Jennifer.
Yesterday Marrta's family took us to Target, and then to Lee Ann Chins. It was great. Marrta and I will be great friends. :D I almost texted Sara last night, as Marrta and I were exchanging knowing glances at the sexiness simply eminating from Jim Sturgess, to tell her that she's been replaced.... it's sad though that it has to be a Sara replacement... YOU WILL NEVER BE REPLACED SARA! Marrta actually reminds me more of Visser. It's all good.
My Dr. Pepper was sitting in the sun... it's not ice cold anymore :(
Bit by bit is the reality of my situation sinking in. This morning when Soua woke up, and I too eventually rose, I kept expecting a knock on the door and someone saying, "Girls, time to get up!" When the schedule says, "Target Trip," once again, I expect someone at the door saying, "Lily, Soua, time to go to Target!"
Independence.
On wednesday, no one is going to knock on my door and say, "Lily, time to get up! Modern Civilizations in Forty minutes! Here, let me take you there!" Once again, "independence." It's something I've had all my life, but only now something I'm going to have to use.
Maybe that's something I'd change about this whole Orientation deal. Maybe if things weren't as structured at SOAR, it wouldn't be so strange now. At least now it's some what of a balance between being baby sat, and being on your own. I still need to be at the required sessions, but no one is going to hold my hand to get there... so I COULD skip, but I'd only hurt myself.
I'm wearing a skirt and a tank top because it's SO freaking hot. I want to put on pants though. Despite the fact that I REFUSE to shave my legs, I am still self-concious and fearful of judgment. So much for that aspect of independence, eh?
Now... I think I am going to clean up that small cluttering by my bed (G-double O - D J-O-B) and then write a letter or two.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Saturday, August 30, 2008
This is it?
I'm here.
It's hot.
I would like to take my clothes off.
However that is not socially acceptable.
My desk is AWESOME. When I first got here, I wasn't expecting my desk to be cool looking like the ones in pictures, but as I said, it's awesome. I've got post cards going up the right hand wall, some pictures hanging from the bottom shelf, all my stuff is organized on the desk itself, and all my books are neatly in a row on top. I was going to take a nap because I only got two hours of sleep last night, but I have this OCD thing going on where I know that if I don't get everything organized and perfect NOW, it will just get worse. So until everything IS perfect, I can't do anything else... except blog.
Mom and I left this morning at a little after five. It felt like a rabbit show as we left and the sun was just barely showing it's light on the horizon. I said good bye to my stars. Then we drove. Away. I called KBEK and told Scott to play a song for me. He played "September Nights" by Jonathan Delehanty, I was very happy. A little later he played "American Splendor" by Eytan Mirksy, and it is still in my head.
Move in itself went very smoothly. My bed is made, my closet organized. Everything is (mostly) in it's place. I feel like I should organize my books, being that I have Twilight and Shutterbabe right next to my Text books, and that feels wrong.
THe sticky stuff they gave us SUCKS. My imagine poster has already fallen down, and my calendar has fallen down a couple times. I've resorted to my hooks and scotch tape. I hope that wasn't a bad decision.
It doesn't feel real that I am in my own dorm at college. I feel like I am visiting, and I've already had pangs of home sickness... I never got to say good bye to Barny. I'm grown up now? I've moved out of my parents' house. I am pursuing a degree... and then a career... SAD!
Oy. I really really REALLY should try to take a nap now.
I'll try to blog later, but there is a lot of stuff going on.
It's hot.
I would like to take my clothes off.
However that is not socially acceptable.
My desk is AWESOME. When I first got here, I wasn't expecting my desk to be cool looking like the ones in pictures, but as I said, it's awesome. I've got post cards going up the right hand wall, some pictures hanging from the bottom shelf, all my stuff is organized on the desk itself, and all my books are neatly in a row on top. I was going to take a nap because I only got two hours of sleep last night, but I have this OCD thing going on where I know that if I don't get everything organized and perfect NOW, it will just get worse. So until everything IS perfect, I can't do anything else... except blog.
Mom and I left this morning at a little after five. It felt like a rabbit show as we left and the sun was just barely showing it's light on the horizon. I said good bye to my stars. Then we drove. Away. I called KBEK and told Scott to play a song for me. He played "September Nights" by Jonathan Delehanty, I was very happy. A little later he played "American Splendor" by Eytan Mirksy, and it is still in my head.
Move in itself went very smoothly. My bed is made, my closet organized. Everything is (mostly) in it's place. I feel like I should organize my books, being that I have Twilight and Shutterbabe right next to my Text books, and that feels wrong.
THe sticky stuff they gave us SUCKS. My imagine poster has already fallen down, and my calendar has fallen down a couple times. I've resorted to my hooks and scotch tape. I hope that wasn't a bad decision.
It doesn't feel real that I am in my own dorm at college. I feel like I am visiting, and I've already had pangs of home sickness... I never got to say good bye to Barny. I'm grown up now? I've moved out of my parents' house. I am pursuing a degree... and then a career... SAD!
Oy. I really really REALLY should try to take a nap now.
I'll try to blog later, but there is a lot of stuff going on.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Flip flops on gravel for long distances is not wise
The lousy internet connection at the library ate my glorious blog post from earlier.
That's a real bummer now that I am not nearly as inspired.
It was a good one too!
Now I am just sitting here at work with sore feet and smelling weird.
That's a lie. I'm not JUST sitting here at work. I am playing every song that I feel like playing, and of course the songs that other people feel like hearing. I started off with Bob Marley, Right now I'm on U2, and next on the cue is "Revolution" By the Beatles.
I'm really going to miss this job... even though I know I'll be back... it hasn't sunk in yet.
I got my eyes checked today. Nothing has changed... That's good to know, but I just wish I didn't have to spend my money to find that out. Plus, I wanted new glasses.
When I got home I started to do some more packing and then fell asleep in a really uncomfortable position on my bed. By the time I woke up it was time for my last family dinner before I leave (fettuccine Alfredo, broccoli, and chicken, yum!) Then I realized, "AH! DRAT! I was supposed to walk with Jessica at 2!" It was three forty. We walked and it was sad, but I didn't get back until 4:40 and was late for work.
Because I didn't finish packing during the day as I sat at the library waiting for their internet to work, I will have to stay up ridiculously late to finish, waking up at 4am to leave by 5am...
Scott just gave me a Blizzard... now I'm sad.
BOO HOOO HOOOO!
That's a real bummer now that I am not nearly as inspired.
It was a good one too!
Now I am just sitting here at work with sore feet and smelling weird.
That's a lie. I'm not JUST sitting here at work. I am playing every song that I feel like playing, and of course the songs that other people feel like hearing. I started off with Bob Marley, Right now I'm on U2, and next on the cue is "Revolution" By the Beatles.
I'm really going to miss this job... even though I know I'll be back... it hasn't sunk in yet.
I got my eyes checked today. Nothing has changed... That's good to know, but I just wish I didn't have to spend my money to find that out. Plus, I wanted new glasses.
When I got home I started to do some more packing and then fell asleep in a really uncomfortable position on my bed. By the time I woke up it was time for my last family dinner before I leave (fettuccine Alfredo, broccoli, and chicken, yum!) Then I realized, "AH! DRAT! I was supposed to walk with Jessica at 2!" It was three forty. We walked and it was sad, but I didn't get back until 4:40 and was late for work.
Because I didn't finish packing during the day as I sat at the library waiting for their internet to work, I will have to stay up ridiculously late to finish, waking up at 4am to leave by 5am...
Scott just gave me a Blizzard... now I'm sad.
BOO HOOO HOOOO!
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Dungeons and Dragons and Dishonorable Decisions
Bliargh.
I don't feel well.
I attribute it to the Dungeons and Dragons all nighter I pulled last night after eating nothing (still haven't) but potato chips, candy bars and energy drinks in at least a day. I feel lousy.
LOUSY.
Tony, Ray, Donnie, Nicole and Sara were over last night, and though we only completed two battles, we were up all night. I was sick and tired (literally) and just wanted to go to bed... but I was the hostess... grumble grumble... Jw Called around Six am, and Nicole said it was bad of me to talk to him the way I did because of my current situation with another marvelous boy... but that's a whole other realm of sorrows.
I wish that I would have had a full night of sleep, and that I would have woken up before 1pm feeling refreshed so that I could have actually done things today! But no... I am exhausted, hungry and loopy and this day is entirely wasted.
At least this time at the library I actually figured out how to get on the internet. Now I can do some of the things I've been meaning to do.
Yesterday, I meant to get transcripts, but I only talked to Mrs. Erickson. I'm going to miss her room, but it doesn't belong to the class of 2008 anymore. It's always weird to reflect upon how life still goes on even when you're not a part of it. There's a new senior class, and Mrs. Erickson will lead them through the same drills she lead us, as she has and continues to do. The smell of fresh floor wax, paper, and simply "school" strikes so many nostalgic chords. I almost started crying as I walked past the gyms, the concession stand, the doors to the theater. Hallways that are so common... so familiar... but not part of me. Like seeing an old friend after years of estrangement. You remember them with fondness, but you know that you can never be what you were...
"If I cross your path again, who knows where, who knows when? On some morning without number or some highway with out end, don't grasp my hand and say, 'Fate has brought you here today' fate is only foolin' with us friends..." (Richard Thompson, "Keep Your Distance." )
Sara Cried this morning when she left. Only a little... but it's intense. TEN YEARS we've been together, best friends, peas and carrots, rarely ever seeing one without the other... and now, in just one day she's going to be miles upon miles away. Six years with Nicole, and she too will be out of my life. We've NEVER been apart!
Blogging was on my list of things to do today... at least I'm getting SOMETHING done. "Eating Food" is on there too, I can't wait to accomplish that. I'm going to go to subway, and I'm going to get a delicious sandwich and EAT IT ALL! it's really exciting.
My bones are showing. Not because I want them to, it's just that I forget to eat. I've been told that's a horrible excuse and that there really is something wrong with me, it's just that when I get going eating is not prime on my to do list.
I wish I would have had the motivation to clean my room and put things in boxes. Ben said that he and I are probably the only people on the planet who haven't packed yet. It's probably true. When am I going to? After phone banking tonight, I'll do my laundry, and then maybe do an all out dresser cleaning, only instead of putting things back in, I'll but them in boxes... but I also need to call Josh, and it will be hard to multi-task.
Nicole asked how I can find the motivation to phone bank, and that was a bit surprizing, because I think it's the coolest thing ever (after door knocking ;)) She's so different from me. How does she find the motivation to clean her room, and hug people?
Nnnngh.
Last Phone bank tonight, and Tomorrow (TOMORROW?!) I'm going down to the State Fair with Tim Faust to volunteer at the DFL booth. I'm going to wear my Camp Wellstone T-shirt, and all the buttons I've collected :D well... maybe not all of them, but at least the ones that are significant. I can't believe that's tomorrow already! When I get home me and my people are going to go out to eat at the On the Way. I 'm going to miss that place! Then it's two more days of packing and working.
Today's a beautiful day to sit out side in shorts playing guitar... too bad I only got 10 minutes of that in today.
Off to other things now. I still feel lousy.
I don't feel well.
I attribute it to the Dungeons and Dragons all nighter I pulled last night after eating nothing (still haven't) but potato chips, candy bars and energy drinks in at least a day. I feel lousy.
LOUSY.
Tony, Ray, Donnie, Nicole and Sara were over last night, and though we only completed two battles, we were up all night. I was sick and tired (literally) and just wanted to go to bed... but I was the hostess... grumble grumble... Jw Called around Six am, and Nicole said it was bad of me to talk to him the way I did because of my current situation with another marvelous boy... but that's a whole other realm of sorrows.
I wish that I would have had a full night of sleep, and that I would have woken up before 1pm feeling refreshed so that I could have actually done things today! But no... I am exhausted, hungry and loopy and this day is entirely wasted.
At least this time at the library I actually figured out how to get on the internet. Now I can do some of the things I've been meaning to do.
Yesterday, I meant to get transcripts, but I only talked to Mrs. Erickson. I'm going to miss her room, but it doesn't belong to the class of 2008 anymore. It's always weird to reflect upon how life still goes on even when you're not a part of it. There's a new senior class, and Mrs. Erickson will lead them through the same drills she lead us, as she has and continues to do. The smell of fresh floor wax, paper, and simply "school" strikes so many nostalgic chords. I almost started crying as I walked past the gyms, the concession stand, the doors to the theater. Hallways that are so common... so familiar... but not part of me. Like seeing an old friend after years of estrangement. You remember them with fondness, but you know that you can never be what you were...
"If I cross your path again, who knows where, who knows when? On some morning without number or some highway with out end, don't grasp my hand and say, 'Fate has brought you here today' fate is only foolin' with us friends..." (Richard Thompson, "Keep Your Distance." )
Sara Cried this morning when she left. Only a little... but it's intense. TEN YEARS we've been together, best friends, peas and carrots, rarely ever seeing one without the other... and now, in just one day she's going to be miles upon miles away. Six years with Nicole, and she too will be out of my life. We've NEVER been apart!
Blogging was on my list of things to do today... at least I'm getting SOMETHING done. "Eating Food" is on there too, I can't wait to accomplish that. I'm going to go to subway, and I'm going to get a delicious sandwich and EAT IT ALL! it's really exciting.
My bones are showing. Not because I want them to, it's just that I forget to eat. I've been told that's a horrible excuse and that there really is something wrong with me, it's just that when I get going eating is not prime on my to do list.
I wish I would have had the motivation to clean my room and put things in boxes. Ben said that he and I are probably the only people on the planet who haven't packed yet. It's probably true. When am I going to? After phone banking tonight, I'll do my laundry, and then maybe do an all out dresser cleaning, only instead of putting things back in, I'll but them in boxes... but I also need to call Josh, and it will be hard to multi-task.
Nicole asked how I can find the motivation to phone bank, and that was a bit surprizing, because I think it's the coolest thing ever (after door knocking ;)) She's so different from me. How does she find the motivation to clean her room, and hug people?
Nnnngh.
Last Phone bank tonight, and Tomorrow (TOMORROW?!) I'm going down to the State Fair with Tim Faust to volunteer at the DFL booth. I'm going to wear my Camp Wellstone T-shirt, and all the buttons I've collected :D well... maybe not all of them, but at least the ones that are significant. I can't believe that's tomorrow already! When I get home me and my people are going to go out to eat at the On the Way. I 'm going to miss that place! Then it's two more days of packing and working.
Today's a beautiful day to sit out side in shorts playing guitar... too bad I only got 10 minutes of that in today.
Off to other things now. I still feel lousy.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Dante
On this, the first official blog day I sit out side at our neighbor's picnic table on my brand new RED Gateway Laptop.
It's not bad to name inanimate objects is it? especially if they are your tools, things that you spend a lot of time with, and depend on.
At first I had intended to name him "Sophocles" but it didn't fit when I met him. I figured that he's RED like FIRE, and that made me think of Infernos... DANTE'S Inferno? Hahaha. It's clever.
Sid and Deb brought him over yesterday. I had talked to Deb about still needing a computer, and that I was going to buy a refurbished HP. She told me not to, and that Sid could find a new computer for so much cheaper. I talked to Sid, and said that I would come over and we could shop a bit.
Yesterday then, Sid and Deb came for dinner. I saw that Sid had a laptop under his arm, and he told me that he had some comparisons downloaded for me to look at. When I went to sign in my name was in the start up deal, he told me the password.
I was confused.
Later, still confused he told me that it wasn't his computer, it was mine.
!!!!
I feel spoiled. Now it is my job to pass on this favor to someone in the future. I can do it.
I put my T. Rex Electric Warrior cd on it already. Mostly because the cd got abused pretty badly, and I want to keep the music safe.
My stomach hurts.
So, as my first official blog, I feel like I should be profound and deep... but it's not coming.
Today I have a lot to do. I think I am going to go with my mom to Mora where I'll go to the library and turn in my books. I still need to write that letter to the paper... I am failing my comrades :( I also need to get to the school so I can talk to Mrs. Erickson, and get Night from her. I want to talk to Mrs. Cekalla, Mr. Cook, and Ms. Swenson too, but it's not looking like I am going to have much time, because Dad is here doing his pottery stuff, and Mom has lessons at 1. While in Mora I need to make a stop at the bank where I need to do a bunch of banking...
I got my Credit card, but I don't want to activate it.
I don't remember if I blogged about this or not, but at Auggie Days we DO get to go to the State fair. I don't know about the RNC, but the State fair is happening. :D I'm still going with Tim on Wednesday to work at the DFL booth. My shift is only 3 hours, so I'll have 2 hours on my own to see the sights! I can't wait. It will be fun to go with the Auggies too, but I will have already gotten my deep fried fix, and seen everything I've wanted to. Maybe my new friends will show me new cool things that I wouldn't have normally explored.
Cheese Curds sound really good right now. Mmmm.
And Milk Shakes.
Miracle of Birth Center :(
Dungeons and Dragons tonight :D That will be fun. Maybe I'll blog later today.
It's not bad to name inanimate objects is it? especially if they are your tools, things that you spend a lot of time with, and depend on.
At first I had intended to name him "Sophocles" but it didn't fit when I met him. I figured that he's RED like FIRE, and that made me think of Infernos... DANTE'S Inferno? Hahaha. It's clever.
Sid and Deb brought him over yesterday. I had talked to Deb about still needing a computer, and that I was going to buy a refurbished HP. She told me not to, and that Sid could find a new computer for so much cheaper. I talked to Sid, and said that I would come over and we could shop a bit.
Yesterday then, Sid and Deb came for dinner. I saw that Sid had a laptop under his arm, and he told me that he had some comparisons downloaded for me to look at. When I went to sign in my name was in the start up deal, he told me the password.
I was confused.
Later, still confused he told me that it wasn't his computer, it was mine.
!!!!
I feel spoiled. Now it is my job to pass on this favor to someone in the future. I can do it.
I put my T. Rex Electric Warrior cd on it already. Mostly because the cd got abused pretty badly, and I want to keep the music safe.
My stomach hurts.
So, as my first official blog, I feel like I should be profound and deep... but it's not coming.
Today I have a lot to do. I think I am going to go with my mom to Mora where I'll go to the library and turn in my books. I still need to write that letter to the paper... I am failing my comrades :( I also need to get to the school so I can talk to Mrs. Erickson, and get Night from her. I want to talk to Mrs. Cekalla, Mr. Cook, and Ms. Swenson too, but it's not looking like I am going to have much time, because Dad is here doing his pottery stuff, and Mom has lessons at 1. While in Mora I need to make a stop at the bank where I need to do a bunch of banking...
I got my Credit card, but I don't want to activate it.
I don't remember if I blogged about this or not, but at Auggie Days we DO get to go to the State fair. I don't know about the RNC, but the State fair is happening. :D I'm still going with Tim on Wednesday to work at the DFL booth. My shift is only 3 hours, so I'll have 2 hours on my own to see the sights! I can't wait. It will be fun to go with the Auggies too, but I will have already gotten my deep fried fix, and seen everything I've wanted to. Maybe my new friends will show me new cool things that I wouldn't have normally explored.
Cheese Curds sound really good right now. Mmmm.
And Milk Shakes.
Miracle of Birth Center :(
Dungeons and Dragons tonight :D That will be fun. Maybe I'll blog later today.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Bi-Polar adolescent Mood Swings SUCK
If you don't wear glasses, then you wouldn't know that tears actually SHOOT out of your eyes.
It's 12:43am. I am working my last Saturday night shift for a very long time... I am awake, alert even, but loopy enough to have emo-tastic thoughts as I slouch here drowning my pain in "Essential Sobe."
My Day was GOOD! I Paraded, I passed out stickers, I door-knocked, I talked politics, I ate food, and hung out with cool people. Barack Obama chose his running mate. Savannah's mom got married. I played music on my guitar, I saw Mrs. Erickson, I got a new school book, two letters and a post card in the mail.
I got a name tag that I want to wear, even though it's not my name.
So now why do I come crashing down so hard? And at WORK none the less! It's hard to do the weather and take requests when your nose is stuffed and your vision blurred with tears.
One week ago right now...
Everything was right in the world.
Now I don't have a clue.
I want college.
I really do.
It's 12:43am. I am working my last Saturday night shift for a very long time... I am awake, alert even, but loopy enough to have emo-tastic thoughts as I slouch here drowning my pain in "Essential Sobe."
My Day was GOOD! I Paraded, I passed out stickers, I door-knocked, I talked politics, I ate food, and hung out with cool people. Barack Obama chose his running mate. Savannah's mom got married. I played music on my guitar, I saw Mrs. Erickson, I got a new school book, two letters and a post card in the mail.
I got a name tag that I want to wear, even though it's not my name.
So now why do I come crashing down so hard? And at WORK none the less! It's hard to do the weather and take requests when your nose is stuffed and your vision blurred with tears.
One week ago right now...
Everything was right in the world.
Now I don't have a clue.
I want college.
I really do.
Friday, August 22, 2008
August 22. Sorry about the bummer title.
I have played until I have got blisters.
Now my goal is just that
I will not stop playing
Until I have got callouses
And that I will keep playing
So that they will stay.
I Henceforth announce this now, before all of blogspot, and all the wonderful patrons of my own personal blog, that I, Lillian the Great of Ogilvie will NOT LET MY CALLOUSES DISAPPEAR. IT has all become pattern for me. Play, Play, Play... Dream, Dream, Dream... until only dreams are left, and my fingers are too tender to even try to solidify those dreams. 'Tis all quite sad. The biggest blister is on my middle finger, that's the first one I noticed, but my other fingers have them too, except for my pinky... but my pinky is just... you know... special. I worry about playing in college. Where now I can sit on the ground with Sara, who's just learning too and not care about my skills. What will happen when I am thrown into the midst of pretentious guitar players who can read tabs and make bar chords? Then what?
Gabriel came back the other day. Tuesday was it? I played him for no more than 10 minutes and my chops died. All of them. I tried again yesterday, and was able to get through my solo 3 times before I got too tired. My tone SUCKS. I hope that it will be decent in time for placement auditions. THere's just bound to be another trumpet player who has been practicing every day for three hours all summer, and they'll whip out something like, Flight of the Bumblebee and then be like, "Sorry I'm not that good, I've only been playing since I was 3 years old." Or worse, I will be placed highest! I really really really hope not, because that would be depressing. Poor Augsburg Band! But I doubt it, I'm but a freshman.
The love I have for my instruments is becoming more profound. It is like falling in love again after that passionate summer of 2005. In the interim years, we've still been friends, hanging out and having some good fun, but now we are spending more time together, getting more intimate, I hope it lasts. I hope that in the coming years we'll grow even closer, and I will learn how to utilize them to their greatest potential, and that they will become a part of me.
My Guitar has no name, but he most certainly needs one. He used to be "Jeremiah" because it was "pretty" but that name holds no meaning. I can't just slap any old name on him either, if I could he would be christened by now. George for the noble and amiable George Cooper, King of Thieves. Gabriel for the Angelic Gatekeeper... and... As I said it can't be any name. Maybe (God Forbid) I'll read Twilight, and then I'll name him "Edward" because he's Hawt. Mickey? For Mickey Wrangle my favorite out-law woodpecker? That's a possibility. Freddie, Marc, John, James... So much potential, but nothing is shouting at me. Perhaps he's just bound to be nameless.
After strumming my guitar and belting the out of key vocals of "Diamonds and Rust" I am feeling very creative, very flowing, very POWERFUL. I want to channel that some how. Maybe I should sit my butt down and write that freaking letter to the paper. Or maybe I'll start a story, the story who's opening lines (however obnoxious) are pounding around in my skull. Visser told me that when I have these stories, I just need to get them out and not worry about how they might compare to others... but all I have are opening lines, menial phrases, nothing sturdy enough to build upon. How do real writers do it?
...I'm wearing my red work out shorts. I've never had real work out shorts before. I hope that I'll actually work out.
Yesterday I was texting Ben about all the things I want to do in the Cities, and how they inconvieniently don't coincide with our Auggie Day plans. Surely Auggie Days will be supurb, but if I have to miss out on the State Fair, or some RNC action, to sit in a circle playing name games, I might be a bit put off. Maybe they'll say, "All Right Auggies! Who wants to go to the State Fair???" And then I'll be all for it. Unless I can still get in with Tim to go next week, that way I can stock up on all the campaign buttons and stickers I'll need to carry me through the campaign and onward.
Bob Dylan is a jerk... but I still love him.
My creative flow has become a mere stream. I think it is time to pry myself away from this box and embrace my nameless lover once more.
Farewell.
P.S. When I googled "Played until my Fingers Bled" to try to find more lyrics for a possible blog title, I was quite amused at how many other blogs there are with that title. It sounds emo.
Now my goal is just that
I will not stop playing
Until I have got callouses
And that I will keep playing
So that they will stay.
I Henceforth announce this now, before all of blogspot, and all the wonderful patrons of my own personal blog, that I, Lillian the Great of Ogilvie will NOT LET MY CALLOUSES DISAPPEAR. IT has all become pattern for me. Play, Play, Play... Dream, Dream, Dream... until only dreams are left, and my fingers are too tender to even try to solidify those dreams. 'Tis all quite sad. The biggest blister is on my middle finger, that's the first one I noticed, but my other fingers have them too, except for my pinky... but my pinky is just... you know... special. I worry about playing in college. Where now I can sit on the ground with Sara, who's just learning too and not care about my skills. What will happen when I am thrown into the midst of pretentious guitar players who can read tabs and make bar chords? Then what?
Gabriel came back the other day. Tuesday was it? I played him for no more than 10 minutes and my chops died. All of them. I tried again yesterday, and was able to get through my solo 3 times before I got too tired. My tone SUCKS. I hope that it will be decent in time for placement auditions. THere's just bound to be another trumpet player who has been practicing every day for three hours all summer, and they'll whip out something like, Flight of the Bumblebee and then be like, "Sorry I'm not that good, I've only been playing since I was 3 years old." Or worse, I will be placed highest! I really really really hope not, because that would be depressing. Poor Augsburg Band! But I doubt it, I'm but a freshman.
The love I have for my instruments is becoming more profound. It is like falling in love again after that passionate summer of 2005. In the interim years, we've still been friends, hanging out and having some good fun, but now we are spending more time together, getting more intimate, I hope it lasts. I hope that in the coming years we'll grow even closer, and I will learn how to utilize them to their greatest potential, and that they will become a part of me.
My Guitar has no name, but he most certainly needs one. He used to be "Jeremiah" because it was "pretty" but that name holds no meaning. I can't just slap any old name on him either, if I could he would be christened by now. George for the noble and amiable George Cooper, King of Thieves. Gabriel for the Angelic Gatekeeper... and... As I said it can't be any name. Maybe (God Forbid) I'll read Twilight, and then I'll name him "Edward" because he's Hawt. Mickey? For Mickey Wrangle my favorite out-law woodpecker? That's a possibility. Freddie, Marc, John, James... So much potential, but nothing is shouting at me. Perhaps he's just bound to be nameless.
After strumming my guitar and belting the out of key vocals of "Diamonds and Rust" I am feeling very creative, very flowing, very POWERFUL. I want to channel that some how. Maybe I should sit my butt down and write that freaking letter to the paper. Or maybe I'll start a story, the story who's opening lines (however obnoxious) are pounding around in my skull. Visser told me that when I have these stories, I just need to get them out and not worry about how they might compare to others... but all I have are opening lines, menial phrases, nothing sturdy enough to build upon. How do real writers do it?
...I'm wearing my red work out shorts. I've never had real work out shorts before. I hope that I'll actually work out.
Yesterday I was texting Ben about all the things I want to do in the Cities, and how they inconvieniently don't coincide with our Auggie Day plans. Surely Auggie Days will be supurb, but if I have to miss out on the State Fair, or some RNC action, to sit in a circle playing name games, I might be a bit put off. Maybe they'll say, "All Right Auggies! Who wants to go to the State Fair???" And then I'll be all for it. Unless I can still get in with Tim to go next week, that way I can stock up on all the campaign buttons and stickers I'll need to carry me through the campaign and onward.
Bob Dylan is a jerk... but I still love him.
My creative flow has become a mere stream. I think it is time to pry myself away from this box and embrace my nameless lover once more.
Farewell.
P.S. When I googled "Played until my Fingers Bled" to try to find more lyrics for a possible blog title, I was quite amused at how many other blogs there are with that title. It sounds emo.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Fear of the Dark
I walked through the forest alone 4 times tonight.
TONIGHT.
I think that it was so dark that I was too preoccupied with staying on the trail than with whether or not serial killers wear night vision goggles, and then weighing my chances of being able to escape them without hitting a tree.
Then I realized that Werewolves probably see very well in the dark and... shoot, it's a full moon and everything.
I decided that I wouldn't mind becoming a werewolf. As long as they didn't eat me... but it would suck because then I would bite my friends, and I don't know how understanding they'd be.
The kiln is being fired tonight. I've never stayed up to help, and actually helped. Firing the kiln really is just a one person job once you get the wood stacked, so what usually happens to me is that I just end up sitting around watching the other person work until I fall asleep. I had a lot of fun tonight loading wood, writing letters, reading The Progressive and adding commentary. Which by the way, might be one of my new favorite pass times.
Dad came and relieved me about 20 minutes ago, so now I am home, smelling like smoke and sweat, and covered in ashes.
My caffeine must not be worn off yet.
I am off.
I just wanted to share that I am a brave young woman who was able to swallow her fear and face the darkness.
TONIGHT.
I think that it was so dark that I was too preoccupied with staying on the trail than with whether or not serial killers wear night vision goggles, and then weighing my chances of being able to escape them without hitting a tree.
Then I realized that Werewolves probably see very well in the dark and... shoot, it's a full moon and everything.
I decided that I wouldn't mind becoming a werewolf. As long as they didn't eat me... but it would suck because then I would bite my friends, and I don't know how understanding they'd be.
The kiln is being fired tonight. I've never stayed up to help, and actually helped. Firing the kiln really is just a one person job once you get the wood stacked, so what usually happens to me is that I just end up sitting around watching the other person work until I fall asleep. I had a lot of fun tonight loading wood, writing letters, reading The Progressive and adding commentary. Which by the way, might be one of my new favorite pass times.
Dad came and relieved me about 20 minutes ago, so now I am home, smelling like smoke and sweat, and covered in ashes.
My caffeine must not be worn off yet.
I am off.
I just wanted to share that I am a brave young woman who was able to swallow her fear and face the darkness.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Gordon is Sirius!
I tried to blog last night, but I got distracted.
So I am going to try again now. In less than a week, these blogs will actually start to mean something... and it will mean that I'll HAVE to blog. I don't mind, it just might be hard to get into the habit.
Sara hadn't seen Dark Knight yet, so we went to Mora last night. We were just one of three groups there, and that was neat. I liked it a lot better the second time through, because I was able to better comprehend what was going on.
The mob deal was the Joker's thing, but I still don't know how (****SPOILER****) Gordon faked his death.
Then, during the credits I was able to put two and two together: Gary Oldman /2= Comissioner Gordon + SIRIUS BLACK
Tcha! I know, for real. Nicole thought I was comparing the characters when I told her, but they are the same Actor! AAAAHAHA! That is really cool, because they are nothing alike.
I told Alan, and he said something about the next Harry Potter movie being post poned. That is rather upsetting.
So, I just checked my augnet email, and the bookstore told me that my order is being held because I haven't made an account. I thought that I did. ... I don't want to spend money.
Yesterday night when I got home my mom told me I had a whole bunch of mail, 3 packages, and an envelope from Credo. KNowing that they were some of the books I ordered from Amazon, I opened the biggest one first, Einstein: His Life and Universe. It's quite large, and not really what I had in mind for a college book, so I am a bit concerned. The next book was The Question of God: C.S. Lewis and Sigmund Frued debate God, Love, Sex and the Meaning of Life. Yeah. I can't wait!!! Then I opened a small package that was my new phone cover. I'm pretty happy about that because my phone won't get beat up any more, but now it kind of looks like a dork. Poor guy.
Lastly, I had an envelope from Credo. I figured it was my bill, and I was a bit scared because I had terrifying late charges last month, and I really hoped that that wouldn't happen again. At the same time though, I was interested in what cool things were in my bill this month. When I opened it, I discovered a Coupon for one free pint of Ben and Jerry's as a thankyou for a survey I took!!
I'll bring it to college... the coupon I mean.
I took one of my mom's towels. It's a smallish one in really ugly colors, that I've always liked. I've meant to take it to college for a long time, so I folded it and put it in my laundry basket. I will be taking a couple more towels from our towel rack soon, I just don't know which ones, or how many.
I also found Alfred, and added him to my college pile. Even though he hasn't been part of my life for quite a while now, I've heard that it's good to bring things along that will remind you of home. Besides, I think he'll make a good Barny-cat substitute... *sniff. Alfred, by the way is a one eyed stuffed tiger I bought at the Renaissance a long long time ago.
Sometime soon too, I want to go down to the basement and find a couple beanie babies. Probably the ferret, and maybe one or two more to be my "pets."
Today, I am going to help my dad fire the kiln, which by my understanding involves my sitting around reading a book, and occaisionally throwing some wood into the fire box. Maybe I can finish a book! I should also try to finish that letter to the paper... but because you know... It won't get into THIS week's paper... I have to wait until next monday ANYWAY...
I am going to be lazy and procrastinate until my mistakes are unrepairable.
It is Tuesday today. That means that there is the possibility for phone banking. Hope hope hope. If not, I'll just keep firing the kiln.
Holli texted me this morning, and we made plans to go visit Betty. I haven't ever visited her, and I think that I really should before I leave for college. She'd be proud of me.
So I am going to try again now. In less than a week, these blogs will actually start to mean something... and it will mean that I'll HAVE to blog. I don't mind, it just might be hard to get into the habit.
Sara hadn't seen Dark Knight yet, so we went to Mora last night. We were just one of three groups there, and that was neat. I liked it a lot better the second time through, because I was able to better comprehend what was going on.
The mob deal was the Joker's thing, but I still don't know how (****SPOILER****) Gordon faked his death.
Then, during the credits I was able to put two and two together: Gary Oldman /2= Comissioner Gordon + SIRIUS BLACK
Tcha! I know, for real. Nicole thought I was comparing the characters when I told her, but they are the same Actor! AAAAHAHA! That is really cool, because they are nothing alike.
I told Alan, and he said something about the next Harry Potter movie being post poned. That is rather upsetting.
So, I just checked my augnet email, and the bookstore told me that my order is being held because I haven't made an account. I thought that I did. ... I don't want to spend money.
Yesterday night when I got home my mom told me I had a whole bunch of mail, 3 packages, and an envelope from Credo. KNowing that they were some of the books I ordered from Amazon, I opened the biggest one first, Einstein: His Life and Universe. It's quite large, and not really what I had in mind for a college book, so I am a bit concerned. The next book was The Question of God: C.S. Lewis and Sigmund Frued debate God, Love, Sex and the Meaning of Life. Yeah. I can't wait!!! Then I opened a small package that was my new phone cover. I'm pretty happy about that because my phone won't get beat up any more, but now it kind of looks like a dork. Poor guy.
Lastly, I had an envelope from Credo. I figured it was my bill, and I was a bit scared because I had terrifying late charges last month, and I really hoped that that wouldn't happen again. At the same time though, I was interested in what cool things were in my bill this month. When I opened it, I discovered a Coupon for one free pint of Ben and Jerry's as a thankyou for a survey I took!!
I'll bring it to college... the coupon I mean.
I took one of my mom's towels. It's a smallish one in really ugly colors, that I've always liked. I've meant to take it to college for a long time, so I folded it and put it in my laundry basket. I will be taking a couple more towels from our towel rack soon, I just don't know which ones, or how many.
I also found Alfred, and added him to my college pile. Even though he hasn't been part of my life for quite a while now, I've heard that it's good to bring things along that will remind you of home. Besides, I think he'll make a good Barny-cat substitute... *sniff. Alfred, by the way is a one eyed stuffed tiger I bought at the Renaissance a long long time ago.
Sometime soon too, I want to go down to the basement and find a couple beanie babies. Probably the ferret, and maybe one or two more to be my "pets."
Today, I am going to help my dad fire the kiln, which by my understanding involves my sitting around reading a book, and occaisionally throwing some wood into the fire box. Maybe I can finish a book! I should also try to finish that letter to the paper... but because you know... It won't get into THIS week's paper... I have to wait until next monday ANYWAY...
I am going to be lazy and procrastinate until my mistakes are unrepairable.
It is Tuesday today. That means that there is the possibility for phone banking. Hope hope hope. If not, I'll just keep firing the kiln.
Holli texted me this morning, and we made plans to go visit Betty. I haven't ever visited her, and I think that I really should before I leave for college. She'd be proud of me.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Real Fruit Juice + Energy
A Sobe energy drink and a cup of "borrowed" sugar free chocolate pudding for dinner. YES.
My blog title comes from the acclaimed Savannah school of random subject titles.
Eight O'Clock here at work on a Sunday evening. Nothing going on, just two weathers an hour and way too much down time. I am hungry. Looking back on my day, before my pudding, all I've eaten was a few nachos from Jessie's kitchen table and a Sierra Mist.
It's just that Food hasn't been primary on my mind today.
(The vitamin infused Sobe drink feels good in my tummy though.)
Josh visited yesterday. I was awkward, but it wasn't bad. He left this morning and the time that I haven't spent sleeping was spent reveling.
I am happy.
On Friday the Broshofskes hosted the "Before they leave us picnic." It was nice. After the parents left, Sara, Nicole and I had our last sleep over at Sara's house before we leave forever... We are actually quite lame. The most exciting thing we did was to go star-tipping which was great. After that we ate a Dairy Queen Ice Cream cake that was exactly 6 months old. It lasted surprisingly well. None of us threw up. Not even Nicole who ate the majority of it.
We watched the Notebook. Sara had never seen it before. It changed her life. Being that it was the second time I'd seen it in a month, I didn't cry as much as I did last time. I just can't get over how deep and awesome that movie is! IT is seriously the perfect romance film, setting our standards way too high... for Lon Hammonds and Noah Calhouns... Not to mention Ryan Goslings!
When that finished we put in Juno, but are too lame to actually stay up past three am.
I went to sleep by my own choosing, knowing that I had a big day on Saturday, and Nicole had to go to work... I guess that's what it's like to grow up and be responsible.
I could have gone Door knocking on Friday, and I said that I would without considering my own well being, luckily Tim had a meeting and I didn't have to. They went to Braham yesterday morning. I didn't go because of my visitor, even though I know he would have enjoyed it. Volunteering has become a drug for me, and it's great. I haven't done anything political since last Tuesday, and I'm already itching for more! I NEED more! I NEED to get out on the streets and door knock, I NEED to phone bank. I need to spend time with like-minded comrades who know so much more than I do. I Hope I hope I hope that I can do stuff in Minneapolis. I've come to realize how appreciated volunteers are. Sharon at the DFL meeting told me that they are going to miss me more than I am going to miss them. Even though I've only been involved for a little more than a month, I HAVE done a lot, simply door knocking and phone banking a couple times!
Plus, I am not going to get the credit and praise for being "young" and involved forever.
That always feels good.
I WANT TO VOLUNTEER!
Whew! Phone banking maybe on Tuesday... that will hopefully tide me over till the next door knocking event.
I should also get onto the DFL website and volunteer for the State Fair on the day Tim is going to be down there. Just a three hour shift! That's weak. I'd be there all day if I could.
! I can get more buttons! (I recently was able to add an Obama button and lapel pin to my collection!)
I'm going to miss the Miracle of Birth Center... that was another joygasmic volunteer experience.
13 days until move in. I'm not bringing that much stuff. Sara's pile is huge. I just have my little corner of my room by my closet, and my bedding stacked in the closet. It makes me happy to look at though. My own tape, my own highlighters, a file folder, febreze, laundry detergent... Then my handmade quilt and afghan for my bed... I feel prepared.
Soua already has a fridge. No microwave or tv. I don't know if we'll need either of those things...
We can decide later if we need to.
I'm surprised how satisfying this energy drink is to my hunger!
My blog title comes from the acclaimed Savannah school of random subject titles.
Eight O'Clock here at work on a Sunday evening. Nothing going on, just two weathers an hour and way too much down time. I am hungry. Looking back on my day, before my pudding, all I've eaten was a few nachos from Jessie's kitchen table and a Sierra Mist.
It's just that Food hasn't been primary on my mind today.
(The vitamin infused Sobe drink feels good in my tummy though.)
Josh visited yesterday. I was awkward, but it wasn't bad. He left this morning and the time that I haven't spent sleeping was spent reveling.
I am happy.
On Friday the Broshofskes hosted the "Before they leave us picnic." It was nice. After the parents left, Sara, Nicole and I had our last sleep over at Sara's house before we leave forever... We are actually quite lame. The most exciting thing we did was to go star-tipping which was great. After that we ate a Dairy Queen Ice Cream cake that was exactly 6 months old. It lasted surprisingly well. None of us threw up. Not even Nicole who ate the majority of it.
We watched the Notebook. Sara had never seen it before. It changed her life. Being that it was the second time I'd seen it in a month, I didn't cry as much as I did last time. I just can't get over how deep and awesome that movie is! IT is seriously the perfect romance film, setting our standards way too high... for Lon Hammonds and Noah Calhouns... Not to mention Ryan Goslings!
When that finished we put in Juno, but are too lame to actually stay up past three am.
I went to sleep by my own choosing, knowing that I had a big day on Saturday, and Nicole had to go to work... I guess that's what it's like to grow up and be responsible.
I could have gone Door knocking on Friday, and I said that I would without considering my own well being, luckily Tim had a meeting and I didn't have to. They went to Braham yesterday morning. I didn't go because of my visitor, even though I know he would have enjoyed it. Volunteering has become a drug for me, and it's great. I haven't done anything political since last Tuesday, and I'm already itching for more! I NEED more! I NEED to get out on the streets and door knock, I NEED to phone bank. I need to spend time with like-minded comrades who know so much more than I do. I Hope I hope I hope that I can do stuff in Minneapolis. I've come to realize how appreciated volunteers are. Sharon at the DFL meeting told me that they are going to miss me more than I am going to miss them. Even though I've only been involved for a little more than a month, I HAVE done a lot, simply door knocking and phone banking a couple times!
Plus, I am not going to get the credit and praise for being "young" and involved forever.
That always feels good.
I WANT TO VOLUNTEER!
Whew! Phone banking maybe on Tuesday... that will hopefully tide me over till the next door knocking event.
I should also get onto the DFL website and volunteer for the State Fair on the day Tim is going to be down there. Just a three hour shift! That's weak. I'd be there all day if I could.
! I can get more buttons! (I recently was able to add an Obama button and lapel pin to my collection!)
I'm going to miss the Miracle of Birth Center... that was another joygasmic volunteer experience.
13 days until move in. I'm not bringing that much stuff. Sara's pile is huge. I just have my little corner of my room by my closet, and my bedding stacked in the closet. It makes me happy to look at though. My own tape, my own highlighters, a file folder, febreze, laundry detergent... Then my handmade quilt and afghan for my bed... I feel prepared.
Soua already has a fridge. No microwave or tv. I don't know if we'll need either of those things...
We can decide later if we need to.
I'm surprised how satisfying this energy drink is to my hunger!
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Is that your little girl?
I am blogging at work again, so this might not be a very quality post.
It's a cloudy, rainy day today, but I don't mind, it will be an ok.
I'm wearing my green converse, I feel powerful.
Today I work till five, and then I'm going to the Villa to visit with Kathy and get the quilt that she made me, and afterwards I'm going to phone bank. I'd rather be door knocking, but phone banking is cool too I guess. This morning I gave my check to Mary so that she can get Gabriel out of the shop tomorrow. I won't be able to have him in my possession until Thursday, and from that day forward I must practice until my chops are sore every day until placement auditions.
Yesterday I worked 2-5 as I will all week, but I also went to the bank (which is significant?) and when I got home I read, and later rented movies. I got The Other Boelyn Girl, The Notebook, and Lost season one, disk one for old times sake. I just watched the Notebook in Michigan, so I am not all that excited to watch it again, but I wanted a good romantic tragedy... it was that or Atonement again, and I don't think I could take it. We ended up watching the two Lost Pilots, and eating macaroni and cheese. It was amazing. Lost is a great show, and I can't wait until January.
Sawyer!
I plan on bringing the Notebook to our going away sleepover party.
While waiting to get my movies rented, the woman behind me asked, "Is that your little girl?" in reference to a button I put on my "new" bag in which I carry things. The button is of a little girl, maybe three? from waist up sitting in a wading pool, with wet auburn hair, sticking her tongue out. I laughed, "That's me actually!"
"Oh! That's cute!" She said, "I was going to say she looked just like you!"
Am I old enough to have a little one? yes... but gosh is that a weird thought. What will my future offspring look like?
............
Moving back in time to Sunday, Megan and I went to St. Cloud. I don't remember if I've recorded that yet. We would have really liked to have gone when the music stores were open, but none are on Sundays! Instead we went to Joann Fabrics, Savers, the Mall, and Plato's Closet with a special stop to treat ourselves to lunch at Olive Garden. Yum.
We didn't find what we wanted at Joann Fabrics, but it made me want to MAKE something. Too bad I don't have any time or space. I found a sweet vintage corduroy blazer jacket at Savers, and Megan regrets showing me a shiny white vest which I bought for $2 and will not share.
Thrift Stores are amazing. I love them. At first I was skeptical of Plato's Closet, but I got a pile of stuff for $30, and I am quite satisfied. It makes me miss Rita. She would pick out cool things that I otherwise wouldn't have noticed.
Tomorrow, Mom and I leaving first thing in the morning to go to Cambridge. I will put money into my checking account, and then go to Target to load up on everything else I need for college.
My own laundry detergent, laundry basket, notebooks, pens, post-its, paper clips, lamps, reading lights, bed sheets, a new pillow (:D) , febreeze...
As I've been telling those who ask, I am looking at move in day with more anticipation than terror these days.
It's a cloudy, rainy day today, but I don't mind, it will be an ok.
I'm wearing my green converse, I feel powerful.
Today I work till five, and then I'm going to the Villa to visit with Kathy and get the quilt that she made me, and afterwards I'm going to phone bank. I'd rather be door knocking, but phone banking is cool too I guess. This morning I gave my check to Mary so that she can get Gabriel out of the shop tomorrow. I won't be able to have him in my possession until Thursday, and from that day forward I must practice until my chops are sore every day until placement auditions.
Yesterday I worked 2-5 as I will all week, but I also went to the bank (which is significant?) and when I got home I read, and later rented movies. I got The Other Boelyn Girl, The Notebook, and Lost season one, disk one for old times sake. I just watched the Notebook in Michigan, so I am not all that excited to watch it again, but I wanted a good romantic tragedy... it was that or Atonement again, and I don't think I could take it. We ended up watching the two Lost Pilots, and eating macaroni and cheese. It was amazing. Lost is a great show, and I can't wait until January.
Sawyer!
I plan on bringing the Notebook to our going away sleepover party.
While waiting to get my movies rented, the woman behind me asked, "Is that your little girl?" in reference to a button I put on my "new" bag in which I carry things. The button is of a little girl, maybe three? from waist up sitting in a wading pool, with wet auburn hair, sticking her tongue out. I laughed, "That's me actually!"
"Oh! That's cute!" She said, "I was going to say she looked just like you!"
Am I old enough to have a little one? yes... but gosh is that a weird thought. What will my future offspring look like?
............
Moving back in time to Sunday, Megan and I went to St. Cloud. I don't remember if I've recorded that yet. We would have really liked to have gone when the music stores were open, but none are on Sundays! Instead we went to Joann Fabrics, Savers, the Mall, and Plato's Closet with a special stop to treat ourselves to lunch at Olive Garden. Yum.
We didn't find what we wanted at Joann Fabrics, but it made me want to MAKE something. Too bad I don't have any time or space. I found a sweet vintage corduroy blazer jacket at Savers, and Megan regrets showing me a shiny white vest which I bought for $2 and will not share.
Thrift Stores are amazing. I love them. At first I was skeptical of Plato's Closet, but I got a pile of stuff for $30, and I am quite satisfied. It makes me miss Rita. She would pick out cool things that I otherwise wouldn't have noticed.
Tomorrow, Mom and I leaving first thing in the morning to go to Cambridge. I will put money into my checking account, and then go to Target to load up on everything else I need for college.
My own laundry detergent, laundry basket, notebooks, pens, post-its, paper clips, lamps, reading lights, bed sheets, a new pillow (:D) , febreeze...
As I've been telling those who ask, I am looking at move in day with more anticipation than terror these days.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
I'm a Partisan!
I'm tired.
I must have done something today.
I DID!
I was super excited all day yesterday, and then this morning I woke up at eight, took a quick shower and trooped off to Mora. I then rode with Tim Faust to Sandstone for the Quarry Days Parade. I was there to support Tim Faust in his House run, as well as the other DFL candidates in the area. Our float was better than Judy Soderstom's... tee hee. We had lots of red white and blue, some flags, stickers and candy, but Judy had more people with her, so they had more people passing out stickers.
Besides Tony Lourey's son, and some real young-uns, I was the youngest there. People are always saying how great it is for the young people to be out helping like that. I had a great conversation about gay rights, the war, China and many other things with a lady, and I told her that she would really like Shutterbabe, and was going to write it down for her, but after the parade we all went our separate ways.
I MET TOMASIN FRANKEN!
Yes. She was there for the parade representing her father. I've actually met Al Franken himself, but at that time, I didn't really comprehend the magnitude of his prescence. This time, just seeing his daughter, I was grinning ear to ear, thinking, "This girl knows Al Franken... AL FRANKEN... SnL writer, Author of the book I'm reading... CANDIDATE FOR U.S. SENATE... breathe Lily... breathe... whoo..." I hope that when I have children they will march in small town parades for me.
The parade was short, and fun. At first I was really nervous, but that was in vain. I guess not everyone is as partisan as me. MOST people don't have a clue. One guy told me that I was on the wrong side, and that I should be a republican, I laughed and said, "NOooo."
When the parade was done, my day was just beginning! Tim and I left right away, and went off to Pine City, where we met up with Sam, and a whole posse of interns from Duluth to door knock. Because there were so many of us, I was able to split a walk list with Sam, which was fantastic because I've only door-knocked one and a half times, and on both of those occaisions I felt as if I was doing everything terribly wrong, even though I was assured I was doing fine. I accompanied Sam at a couple doors, and I realized that I was pretty close. We split the list into even and odd numbered houses, that way we would still kind of be together, and finish the streets really fast. Everything went smoothly, and even the Strong Republicans were friendly to me. (One of the interns had doors slammed in their face!) I was even properly hydrated this time! We finished around 3ish, and I had made it to ALL of my doors. The group of Duluth boys all took off for Rush City right away, Sam went off to do something else, and Tim and I, and the Duluth Girls got pizza at the "Pizza Pub" (We went there for all conference band once!) We got the biggest pizza I've ever seen in my life. Twenty Eight Inches!
MOm wants the computer now, so I am going to get off. I work tonight, and I am contemplating whether I should shower...
Megan and I are going to St. Cloud tomorrow for some school shopping. I'm excited.
I must have done something today.
I DID!
I was super excited all day yesterday, and then this morning I woke up at eight, took a quick shower and trooped off to Mora. I then rode with Tim Faust to Sandstone for the Quarry Days Parade. I was there to support Tim Faust in his House run, as well as the other DFL candidates in the area. Our float was better than Judy Soderstom's... tee hee. We had lots of red white and blue, some flags, stickers and candy, but Judy had more people with her, so they had more people passing out stickers.
Besides Tony Lourey's son, and some real young-uns, I was the youngest there. People are always saying how great it is for the young people to be out helping like that. I had a great conversation about gay rights, the war, China and many other things with a lady, and I told her that she would really like Shutterbabe, and was going to write it down for her, but after the parade we all went our separate ways.
I MET TOMASIN FRANKEN!
Yes. She was there for the parade representing her father. I've actually met Al Franken himself, but at that time, I didn't really comprehend the magnitude of his prescence. This time, just seeing his daughter, I was grinning ear to ear, thinking, "This girl knows Al Franken... AL FRANKEN... SnL writer, Author of the book I'm reading... CANDIDATE FOR U.S. SENATE... breathe Lily... breathe... whoo..." I hope that when I have children they will march in small town parades for me.
The parade was short, and fun. At first I was really nervous, but that was in vain. I guess not everyone is as partisan as me. MOST people don't have a clue. One guy told me that I was on the wrong side, and that I should be a republican, I laughed and said, "NOooo."
When the parade was done, my day was just beginning! Tim and I left right away, and went off to Pine City, where we met up with Sam, and a whole posse of interns from Duluth to door knock. Because there were so many of us, I was able to split a walk list with Sam, which was fantastic because I've only door-knocked one and a half times, and on both of those occaisions I felt as if I was doing everything terribly wrong, even though I was assured I was doing fine. I accompanied Sam at a couple doors, and I realized that I was pretty close. We split the list into even and odd numbered houses, that way we would still kind of be together, and finish the streets really fast. Everything went smoothly, and even the Strong Republicans were friendly to me. (One of the interns had doors slammed in their face!) I was even properly hydrated this time! We finished around 3ish, and I had made it to ALL of my doors. The group of Duluth boys all took off for Rush City right away, Sam went off to do something else, and Tim and I, and the Duluth Girls got pizza at the "Pizza Pub" (We went there for all conference band once!) We got the biggest pizza I've ever seen in my life. Twenty Eight Inches!
MOm wants the computer now, so I am going to get off. I work tonight, and I am contemplating whether I should shower...
Megan and I are going to St. Cloud tomorrow for some school shopping. I'm excited.
Friday, August 8, 2008
Northern Slime I am told, is high fashion in some parts of the world
Too bad I'm not IN those parts of the world (Canada?) as I do smell of nothing other than NORTHERN SLIME! Mmmmm.
I 'm not exactly complaining though, I came about my slime honestly.
This morning I got up early (9:00,) got dressed, and helped my dad load bricks into the van. From there we went to the bank in Mora, where I found out what I need to do with my Cd, and then after a stop at the post office and gas station, we went to the Kanebec History Center. There, we unloaded the bricks, scraped off the crusty ones, and stacked them nicely on and around the History Center's future Pizza oven. I worked up a bit of a sweat and it felt wonderful.
We went home and I did some things I've been meaning to do... which really only was to call Soua, but she wasn't home. Then I just sat in my room writing down angst and shopping lists in my journal. When I couldn't take the pressure any more, I put Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest sound track on my Mp3 player, and closed my eyes. I didn't actually get to sleep, but it was still exhausting. This morning I got make-up remover in my eyes, and I think it has added a false feeling of sleepiness to my day.
The reason I didn't have time to fall asleep was that my dad came home and we went fishing. We went to my dad's secret Walleye place, but we caught no walleye. My dad caught two bass, and a GIANT Northern. As for me, were I fishing to survive... I WOULD HAVE SURVIVED! Yay!
I caught two smallish Northerns, but I think they might have been the same one. On my first fish as I was trying to extricate the hook from his lip, he would not cooperate, flopping hither and thither causing quite the inconvenience. His flopping got slime all over my front, my arms and even my face. After I let him free back into the water, I wished I would have been able to eat him for the trouble he caused me.
So naturally I took out my rage on the next fish I caught, which I hope to enjoy when I get home from work.
Now I'm at work, eating. I've had two pieces of Pumpernickel bread with peanut butter, and one cherry toaster strudel. I would really like to have some pizza rolls because they are there, but I am not direly hungered, so their splendor would be lost a little I think.
In my dad's van there's a copy of Newsweek from July. In it there is an article about Lawrence King, the 15 year old boy who was shot by a classmate for being openly gay. It is a heart wrenching story, and I hope that the boy who shot him will be severely sentenced. What I am having a hard time with is where the lines should have been drawn.
Larry came to school with make-up, glitter, and stiletto heels, then going on to hit on other boys he knew weren't gay simply to watch them squirm. Should the school have stepped in? Would it have been wrong of them to tell him that he couldn't wear what he wanted to? Part of me says that they should have, that his dress and behavior WAS inappropriate, however it is his right to express himself. If the school officials had made him change his attire and behavior, would that have been wrong?
Would it have saved is life?
I 'm not exactly complaining though, I came about my slime honestly.
This morning I got up early (9:00,) got dressed, and helped my dad load bricks into the van. From there we went to the bank in Mora, where I found out what I need to do with my Cd, and then after a stop at the post office and gas station, we went to the Kanebec History Center. There, we unloaded the bricks, scraped off the crusty ones, and stacked them nicely on and around the History Center's future Pizza oven. I worked up a bit of a sweat and it felt wonderful.
We went home and I did some things I've been meaning to do... which really only was to call Soua, but she wasn't home. Then I just sat in my room writing down angst and shopping lists in my journal. When I couldn't take the pressure any more, I put Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest sound track on my Mp3 player, and closed my eyes. I didn't actually get to sleep, but it was still exhausting. This morning I got make-up remover in my eyes, and I think it has added a false feeling of sleepiness to my day.
The reason I didn't have time to fall asleep was that my dad came home and we went fishing. We went to my dad's secret Walleye place, but we caught no walleye. My dad caught two bass, and a GIANT Northern. As for me, were I fishing to survive... I WOULD HAVE SURVIVED! Yay!
I caught two smallish Northerns, but I think they might have been the same one. On my first fish as I was trying to extricate the hook from his lip, he would not cooperate, flopping hither and thither causing quite the inconvenience. His flopping got slime all over my front, my arms and even my face. After I let him free back into the water, I wished I would have been able to eat him for the trouble he caused me.
So naturally I took out my rage on the next fish I caught, which I hope to enjoy when I get home from work.
Now I'm at work, eating. I've had two pieces of Pumpernickel bread with peanut butter, and one cherry toaster strudel. I would really like to have some pizza rolls because they are there, but I am not direly hungered, so their splendor would be lost a little I think.
In my dad's van there's a copy of Newsweek from July. In it there is an article about Lawrence King, the 15 year old boy who was shot by a classmate for being openly gay. It is a heart wrenching story, and I hope that the boy who shot him will be severely sentenced. What I am having a hard time with is where the lines should have been drawn.
Larry came to school with make-up, glitter, and stiletto heels, then going on to hit on other boys he knew weren't gay simply to watch them squirm. Should the school have stepped in? Would it have been wrong of them to tell him that he couldn't wear what he wanted to? Part of me says that they should have, that his dress and behavior WAS inappropriate, however it is his right to express himself. If the school officials had made him change his attire and behavior, would that have been wrong?
Would it have saved is life?
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Tomorrow, Tomorrow
Blogging at work... let's see how I manage.
So far not so good. This is multi-tasking to the extreme.
I door knocked today for a half an hour in Mora. I just got through one street. For the most part it was positive in that all of those that were home, were staunch Faust Supporters. That was uplifting. One man talked to me for a long time about politicians, and young people. I couldn't understand much of what he was saying, and I almost had him written down as a "No" for getting his vote on election day when I asked, "So you'll be voting for Soderstrom then?" (You know, supportive, unbiased ...) He laughed and said that the only good thing that all that Soderstrom propaganda is good for is kindling. I then marked him down as a yes. I got quite the earful of why politicians shouldn't get so many benefits after serving their terms. It sparked thought.
I am not a good door knocker. I am definitely getting better... but I am sure I am doing something wrong... and Sam is just too desperate for volunteers to tell me otherwise.
I need to get over my self-consciousness and fear when it comes to approaching strange doors. Most of the time I'd rather just walk by a house if someone is already in the yard... Aren't door knockers annoying? Should I care?
Thursday I work the Mille Accs county fair, and then there's the possibility that I could phone bank in Pine City, but that could get complicated. Saturday morning is more Door knocking in Pine City. I am going to try to get Sara to go with me. That would make it more fun, and then we could swap stories afterwards. I don't know who else I could drag along... no one else who cares enough... They're not all weird like me.
A few requests came in. I was in my glory as I rocked out to "Hey Jude" (They just said Beatles, something we haven't heard in a while, so I chose.) After that the request was "Under Pressure" So I sang along loudly to that too. You can't just play any song after Under Pressure, so I went for Jimi Hendrix's "Purple Haze."
'Scuse me while I kiss the Sky!
WOO HOO!
Just an hour left, and if I keep this up, it'll be done in no time.
I have tomorrow off entirely, we have delightful company, so I don't know what is going to happen. Something fun I hope, involving food perhaps? There might even still be fun stuff happening tonight when I get home! Yay!
And if not... I'll just shove the clean and neatly folded clothes from bed onto the dirty floor and go to sleep.
Let's see. Things are looking up on the College front. I haven't yet straightened out my Perkin's loan, and mom is sure to get on me about that. I really hope that my mom's fears aren't confirmed and I'm going to find out that I owe a huge slab of money out of no where. Eeek. I'm looking into it.
At the bank today I discovered that I DO have enough in my savings to buy a computer, and that is very comforting.
I can't wait to go school shopping, and I've already made a list. I can't wait to meet with Soua and decide what kind of air freshener to get.
Ahhh...
But again I have put everything off for one more day. This is going to back fire, and it certainly isn't going to be pretty.
TOMORROW! I say confidently, Tomorrow I will follow through!
So far not so good. This is multi-tasking to the extreme.
I door knocked today for a half an hour in Mora. I just got through one street. For the most part it was positive in that all of those that were home, were staunch Faust Supporters. That was uplifting. One man talked to me for a long time about politicians, and young people. I couldn't understand much of what he was saying, and I almost had him written down as a "No" for getting his vote on election day when I asked, "So you'll be voting for Soderstrom then?" (You know, supportive, unbiased ...) He laughed and said that the only good thing that all that Soderstrom propaganda is good for is kindling. I then marked him down as a yes. I got quite the earful of why politicians shouldn't get so many benefits after serving their terms. It sparked thought.
I am not a good door knocker. I am definitely getting better... but I am sure I am doing something wrong... and Sam is just too desperate for volunteers to tell me otherwise.
I need to get over my self-consciousness and fear when it comes to approaching strange doors. Most of the time I'd rather just walk by a house if someone is already in the yard... Aren't door knockers annoying? Should I care?
Thursday I work the Mille Accs county fair, and then there's the possibility that I could phone bank in Pine City, but that could get complicated. Saturday morning is more Door knocking in Pine City. I am going to try to get Sara to go with me. That would make it more fun, and then we could swap stories afterwards. I don't know who else I could drag along... no one else who cares enough... They're not all weird like me.
A few requests came in. I was in my glory as I rocked out to "Hey Jude" (They just said Beatles, something we haven't heard in a while, so I chose.) After that the request was "Under Pressure" So I sang along loudly to that too. You can't just play any song after Under Pressure, so I went for Jimi Hendrix's "Purple Haze."
'Scuse me while I kiss the Sky!
WOO HOO!
Just an hour left, and if I keep this up, it'll be done in no time.
I have tomorrow off entirely, we have delightful company, so I don't know what is going to happen. Something fun I hope, involving food perhaps? There might even still be fun stuff happening tonight when I get home! Yay!
And if not... I'll just shove the clean and neatly folded clothes from bed onto the dirty floor and go to sleep.
Let's see. Things are looking up on the College front. I haven't yet straightened out my Perkin's loan, and mom is sure to get on me about that. I really hope that my mom's fears aren't confirmed and I'm going to find out that I owe a huge slab of money out of no where. Eeek. I'm looking into it.
At the bank today I discovered that I DO have enough in my savings to buy a computer, and that is very comforting.
I can't wait to go school shopping, and I've already made a list. I can't wait to meet with Soua and decide what kind of air freshener to get.
Ahhh...
But again I have put everything off for one more day. This is going to back fire, and it certainly isn't going to be pretty.
TOMORROW! I say confidently, Tomorrow I will follow through!
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Shutterbabe
Perfect Balance.
Shrouded with solitude and silence.
Life...
Is perfect.
Contrary to the internal turmoil I have been experiencing as of late, time at this very moment, is serene.
I have just breached the 100th page of Shutterbabe, and with that, I feel full of musing, inquiry, and speculation. Before I move on to part two, “Stop,” I feel that I must share what is on my mind.
Deborah is a slut. By all means of High School definitions, she is a promiscuous ho bag. Men to her, as she puts it herself, are like books:
“... To be read, or skimmed, studied or forgotten, enjoyed for the moment or digested in a forever kind of way. A few go back on the shelf and gather dust, others I might pull out now and again to reread a passage or two or three or fifteen. What I mean is that they can’t all be Anna Karenina, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t enjoy them just the same... And just as each book I read changes me in some small, or perhaps large way, each man I bed, to be perfectly hyperbolic, makes me feel that much more attuned to the transcendence and bounty and beauty of life.” (Kogan, 81)
That passage doesn’t sound nearly as crude as what one might associate with “Slut.” So is she? No! She’s empowered, free and in charge of her own life. Reading the book makes me feel empowered myself. It makes me feel proud to be a woman, and ready to embrace life in the fullest.
This is much like how I feel while reading Tom Robbins books, most recently Still Life with Woodpecker. Tom Robbins’ writings glorify female being. Sexuality, beauty and mystery. With his blatant, yet poetic descriptions of such things as “Peach Fish,” I feel exalted with what I am.
I’ve got Tom Robbins with me, encouraging the acknowledgment of pure feminine beauty, and Deborah Copaken Kogan flaunting the empowered existence of Womanhood, but then there’s the view held that these things are unacceptable.
Were I reading a memoir of a man who spoke of women the way Kogan does of men, would I not cast him angrily aside as a chauvinistic pig?
Saturday, August 2, 2008
As I walked through the kitchen this morning, out the door to work, I had an intense flash of "Back to School."
I didn't want to get out of bed this morning, I hit the snooze button on my phone alarm for almost an hour, until I finally decided it would be beneficial to get up.
For some reason, I felt it necessary to "dress up" today. Striped pants, which to my delight I can't pop the zipper by simply exhaling anymore, Cirque Du Soliel Shirt, silver shoes, Side pony tail (!?) eyeliner, earrings... the whole shebang. I suppose I do have a lot going on today, and I must present my self with style right? So there, it's perfectly justified. Dressed then, as I was, set and ready for my big day, back pack slung over my left shoulder, stepping onto the door step into the cool but green Summer Morning, it's no wonder it felt like I was going back to High School.
Ah my friends, that is where it deviates, for I am NOT going back to High School, and no matter how hard I try, I'll never have that First Day experience again.
... I am at work right now, shopping for computers, and I just discovered I have less than $200 left in my checking account. That hurts, especially after all that graduation money... I don't berate myself for spending it, but golly... that's a lot of money! I have a Computer picked out, it's a refurbished HP notebook and it's definitely in my price range... well... not less than $200... but it is reasonable. Donny even gave me the go ahead!
Today, Mom told me that we get to go to Office Max and get school supplies sometime soon, and yesterday I got this college thing with a checklist of what to get. I GET TO GET MY OWN POST IT NOTES! Call me strange, but that is thrilling. There were other office supply items on the list, but I think I was most excited about the post it notes.
We'll probably coordinate that trip with a stop at Target to get my bed sheets, that is also really exciting. Bed sheets, a water pitcher, some lamps, and desk lights, shower stuff... Of course I am going to be broke from my computer... but... it is going to happen.
I successfully stalked my roommate on the Augsburg website today, so at least now I know what she looks like. Still no luck in the email yet... so that means I'm going to have to call her. Oh dear. Maybe tomorrow? Monday? Hmmm.
Well, I got home from Michigan yesterday afternoon. My flight was smooth except for a little turbulence coming into Minneapolis, which is just fine, because I love turbulence. Positive G-Force! Or maybe Negative... which ever one feels awesome, not to mention the adrenaline rush of thinking you could crash and die. It was really sad leaving though. Faye, Jack, Claire and Rose all came to the Airport with me, I didn't want to leave!
Upon getting home, I experienced some hard core reverse culture shock. Almost immediately I became restless. It didn't feel like I belonged in my home anymore. Jess was restless too, so we went for a short walk, then her mom fed me. Mom and I went on a late night snack run, and I satisfied one of the most extreme munchie fits I've ever had. I attribute it to hormones and stress.
Cheetos, wrapped in sandwich ham, followed by a mint chocolate chip ice cream sandwich, and washed down with Pepsi.
It felt great.
I am missing the Back to the Tower Parade, so that makes me a bit sad, Sara lamented to me that she will have to play first trumpet. I really would have liked to play.
Gabriel (Trumpet) is still in the shop, Al hasn't called me back yet... and... ugh... that's $95 more dollars... ARGH!
After work tonight I am off to Back to the Tower days anyway to get some deep fried food, then it's to Larry's Grad party, and from there it's Edstock. WOO HOO!
I didn't want to get out of bed this morning, I hit the snooze button on my phone alarm for almost an hour, until I finally decided it would be beneficial to get up.
For some reason, I felt it necessary to "dress up" today. Striped pants, which to my delight I can't pop the zipper by simply exhaling anymore, Cirque Du Soliel Shirt, silver shoes, Side pony tail (!?) eyeliner, earrings... the whole shebang. I suppose I do have a lot going on today, and I must present my self with style right? So there, it's perfectly justified. Dressed then, as I was, set and ready for my big day, back pack slung over my left shoulder, stepping onto the door step into the cool but green Summer Morning, it's no wonder it felt like I was going back to High School.
Ah my friends, that is where it deviates, for I am NOT going back to High School, and no matter how hard I try, I'll never have that First Day experience again.
... I am at work right now, shopping for computers, and I just discovered I have less than $200 left in my checking account. That hurts, especially after all that graduation money... I don't berate myself for spending it, but golly... that's a lot of money! I have a Computer picked out, it's a refurbished HP notebook and it's definitely in my price range... well... not less than $200... but it is reasonable. Donny even gave me the go ahead!
Today, Mom told me that we get to go to Office Max and get school supplies sometime soon, and yesterday I got this college thing with a checklist of what to get. I GET TO GET MY OWN POST IT NOTES! Call me strange, but that is thrilling. There were other office supply items on the list, but I think I was most excited about the post it notes.
We'll probably coordinate that trip with a stop at Target to get my bed sheets, that is also really exciting. Bed sheets, a water pitcher, some lamps, and desk lights, shower stuff... Of course I am going to be broke from my computer... but... it is going to happen.
I successfully stalked my roommate on the Augsburg website today, so at least now I know what she looks like. Still no luck in the email yet... so that means I'm going to have to call her. Oh dear. Maybe tomorrow? Monday? Hmmm.
Well, I got home from Michigan yesterday afternoon. My flight was smooth except for a little turbulence coming into Minneapolis, which is just fine, because I love turbulence. Positive G-Force! Or maybe Negative... which ever one feels awesome, not to mention the adrenaline rush of thinking you could crash and die. It was really sad leaving though. Faye, Jack, Claire and Rose all came to the Airport with me, I didn't want to leave!
Upon getting home, I experienced some hard core reverse culture shock. Almost immediately I became restless. It didn't feel like I belonged in my home anymore. Jess was restless too, so we went for a short walk, then her mom fed me. Mom and I went on a late night snack run, and I satisfied one of the most extreme munchie fits I've ever had. I attribute it to hormones and stress.
Cheetos, wrapped in sandwich ham, followed by a mint chocolate chip ice cream sandwich, and washed down with Pepsi.
It felt great.
I am missing the Back to the Tower Parade, so that makes me a bit sad, Sara lamented to me that she will have to play first trumpet. I really would have liked to play.
Gabriel (Trumpet) is still in the shop, Al hasn't called me back yet... and... ugh... that's $95 more dollars... ARGH!
After work tonight I am off to Back to the Tower days anyway to get some deep fried food, then it's to Larry's Grad party, and from there it's Edstock. WOO HOO!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)