Oscar Wilde + Ms. Swenson

Even though it wasn't really Ms. Swenson who fertilized my love for Oscar Wilde, in fact, it was Mr. Borris, and only because we read "The Importance of Being Ernest", and even then only because Uncyclopedia quotes him all the time, Ms. Swenson began churning my feminist intellectual brain into the overworking queer power house it is today.

I post because I came across this website:

http://www.nyu.edu/library/bobst/research/fales/exhibits/wilde/0chamele.htm

I've only read the first part so far, but now with all of my (unexpected) women's studies training, this really gets me off, and astonishes me how the Wilde connection can be traced back to my "Youth." ... "Adolescence" if you will... assuming I've passed that.

What did people do before Word Processors?

Granted, I love me some click clack '0 type-writer, but gees, "Cut and Paste."

Seriously.

Sat down at approximately one o'clock, hope of finishing my Gender and Globalization paper dwindling upon the realization I really hadn't started... but then I found that I DID kind of start, and it wasn't all useless!

It has just been a matter of cutting and pasting sources into the right order to match the order of my thesis, and Crockett inspired road map.

I wish all papers were this easy to write... Oh... They are!

Haha! So close.

The Honor's Suite is quiet. I love how zoned in we all are. I am really happy to be part of the Honor's community. I don't care about the bad rap it gets some times. We're here because we like, and are good at producing quality work and sharing ideas. In consequence, we get to sit at polished cedar tables, or poofy leather couches, and write about high theory to our hearts' content.

... talk about ivory tower elitism...

Oh well. I recognize the privilege awarded to me as a student of a private, liberal arts institution. It would be worse not to be grateful, and use my powers for evil.

Stay away from comfy couches

When already sleepy, one should most definitely NOT sit anywhere near the couches in the Honor's Suite.

I made the mistake of sitting ON one, and konked out for an hour and a half. Now I am sprawled even more casually, and downing a Coca Cola with a determined glint in my eye.

I wish this one of those many nights where I could have said, "Oh, I must need my rest..."go back to my room, and go to bed before Ten... but nope. This is the real deal, friends. This is the Sunday before finals week. Even though I worked at a reasonable clip all of last week, I now have a finite number of days to finish everything. Still not panicked yet... surprisingly.

Oh, and why am I so tired?
Perhaps it's because on Friday I celebrated Magdalen's 21st at the Kitty Kat Klub, and then followed that up with continual celebrations yesterday, both with Magdalen and with my Floor house.

I love my floor house. One of these days I'll do a blog just about them. I should move away from this couch. Ah!

Feminism.

Third Wave.

Occupy Wall Street.

One Week Out/ 149 days till the end

This time next week I shall be basking in hard earned freedom.

Right now, I sit in the Honor's Suite, bracing for action. I've been working hard all week, and it feels good. I worked so hard on Monday, Tuesday felt like Thursday.

... I put Pandora's "Cake Radio" on too soon, and it started blocking my brain flow.

I've been listening to this station every day. I made it on Monday by combining Cake, the Cure and Big D and the Kids Table with the hope of having as much trumpet and excitement as possible. Ska is really good for paper writing energy.

Last night, I presented on my Occupation Paper. I still have the last part, "Feminism" to write. So far, it's really just been a break down of the movement itself, which discourages me a bit, because this is supposed to be a "Feminist Lens." I've got it though, I'll write a solid introductory paragraph, with a thesis that will make it all make sense. Now, I get to do a little more research, and digging for information on the Third Wave of Feminism ( <3 <3 <3 ). This paper is so theory rich, and I love it.

The other day, I came across bell hooks in the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy's entry on "Topics in Feminism." I've known about bell hooks, but not that much, and I think we might be soul sisters. She writes:

Unlike many feminist comrades, I believe women and men must share a common understanding — a basic knowledge of what feminism is — if it is ever to be a powerful mass-based political movement. In Feminist Theory: From Margin to Center, I suggest that defining feminism broadly as “a movement to end sexism and sexist oppression” would enable us to have a common political goal…Sharing a common goal does not imply that women and men will not have radically divergent perspectives on how that goal might be reached. (hooks 1989, 23)

See? :)

Now I am going to listen to ska and write until I can't handle not playing my trumpet any longer, then I'll go and practice for my jury... and probably sign up for a time.

Then I'll write some more, eat some food, go to the student government meeting, and write a little bit longer.

One of many Rants

It seems appropriate that I find myself blogging more now that I am actually reading more blogs and discovering their potential.

I'm torn though, because I want to be an educated, vocal, revolutionary, feminist, blogger, and enter the conversations around the world...

But I also want to be a good Homemade blogger, and talk about how the spontaneous party in my room last Saturday ended with us all wrestling, leaving blood on the wall, and rug burn on my face.

I am loving my LIFE, I just can't write papers...

It was this very week last year that started my "downfall" (Depending on how you look at it). December 2, 2010: COLLEGE ROCKS. December 4, 2010: Woke up cuddled between Mary and Paul. Went to class. Slept till noon. Did nothing else.

Then I hit puberty.

Feminism and Women's Studies is great and terrible for this problem... because it addresses this problem exactly! The problem being, how do we live HUMAN lives in a HUMAN world that also expects us to behave like machines.

Grrrrr Industrial Revolution.

How do I be female bodied, and queerly cis-sexual, in a world where gender and sex screws with everything... significantly my trains of thought, where post-modern sexual expression, gender roles, career paths, and life choices are all mashed into one "Complicated" glob of personal/political discourse, that no one really understands?

Hey, y'all should follow my Tumblr: princelilykrakensnake.
It's fun.

Late November

I've been trying to stand by Jacqui Devries', "You don't have to be working on your paper, as long as you are sitting in front of it" method, to no avail. I feel like back in her days... you know, of oil lamps and type writers (JUST KIDDING, JACQUI!)... she didn't have to deal with the challenges of Tumblr, Twitter and Facebook. So, I can still sit in front of my paper, but it does no good since by the time I am bored with everything else, I am also bored with my computer screen.

I set myself a reasonable goal of SIX pages today. Three for Women's Studies, three for Globalization. If I follow the same pattern tomorrow, with revision on Monday, I will actually have something to show as a rough draft by Tuesday. Of course, that means starting.

Step one: Open Microsoft word.

All right. That much closer.

I got back from Ogilvie last night, changed into my magical black power suit (might warrant a whole post entitled, "Deploying sexuality, employing sexism") and then went to my FIRST non-Augsburg, Non-Renaissance, Non-Taps gig of my musical career.

I played fourth part in the band, "Swing Beat" at the Wabasha Street Caves. Zomgzzzz.

I was the youngest member of the band, but in the old range of the audience. I didn't mess up that much, but I also didn't rock. I want to be Trumpet Andy, moustache and all.

Ooh! And after the first set, the band leader came around with little red tickets that said, "Liquor" on them. With mine, I went to the bar, handed over my ticket and said, "Summit Epa!" and received, for my very own, a delicious, plastic cup of beer, without even a check of my id, 'cause I'm with the band.

I lamented the plastic cup part a bit... something about drinking beer out of a plastic cup in the caves where John Dillinger once lurked kinda killed the mood.

I'm already more of a musician than many of my counterparts could dream, but I want to be a musician!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N70ghC4mxcY
Look, the Brass Messengers! Trumpet Andy talked to me about them, but I was too excited expressing not only my knowledge of their existence, but also my stalking escapades, to hear what his involvement with them was. I almost want to say that he's in this video, but I am pretty sure that's Trumpet Phil.

Andy said that Minneapolis is a great place to be a trumpet player.

((( I WANT TO PLAY TRUMPET!!!)))

No one has contacted me officially about Advent Vespers yet. That's this week. If no one does by Monday, I'm getting my ticket to the Brass Messengers Cd Release party at the Cedar Cultural Center on Saturday. Mom said that she talked to Twan, who knows the drummer (with a Finnish name) and he said that there will be poetry, and dance, and all kinds of festivities. Hell yeah.

I bailed on Duluth. I would have just been rolling in around now. I feel bad, but Jeanne was understanding. She has homework too.

Ok.

Action.

Call for Support

Friends, Comrades in the Struggle, Onlookers, Americans,

Hear me now.

As I sit in the secret "Brian Krohne" room, bracing myself for my first dive into the written leg of my paper(s), I seek encouragement.

Discouraged from the streets, I turn to the blogs. Remarkably clever writer for Al Jazeera, Danny Schechter reinforces my pessimism. "...for some, the novelty wears off," he writes. "Only the mass media keeps the democratic illusion alive, between commercials of course... But the US media prefers to dwell on the sensational rather than the analytical with more pandering coverage of GOP candidate Herman Cain's alleged sexual pecadilloes years ago than the deepening crisis that confront us today..."

*Sigh*

Yet, Don Hazen of AlterNet assures, "You can't fight hopes and dreams, or the need for jobs and a decent life, with pepper spray and police batons... We are a society that deserves and will in the end achieve something much better, more humane and more sane than we have now. ... So New Yorkers and protesters and their allies and friends across the country and globe: Take a deep breath. There is a long road ahead, but every day and every obstacle overcome leads to a better tomorrow. We just have to stay strong and refuse to take no for an answer."

Please, as I re-post this everywhere, I need as many of you as possible to reply with reasons why there still is a chance. That it is not about the sexists, and the power hungry, but rather unified voices and hope for a better world. What is your story?

Cedar-Riverside Homework Tour

Today's Cedar-Riverside Homework Tour began at approximately 1:30pm with a backpack laden walk to the intersection of Cedar and Riverside, where I enthusiastically entered Keefer Court Bakery and Cafe and ordered a long awaited chicken and pea-pod combo plate with fried rice, and two cream cheese puffs, accompanied by hot, jasmine tinted tea.

I only had time to read two pages of Steven Gregory's, "Devil Behind the Mirror" before my glorious platter arrived.

I ate all of it. Every last bit.

As I left, I got a coconut custard bun to be eaten as a reward if my next destination proves successful.

(THIS NEIGHBORHOOD IS WONDERFUL).

From Keefer Court, I crossed the street to Hard Times, where the atmosphere of Led Zeppelin, organic cuisine and house plants put me in a romantic mood.

Instead of writing pining tomes to my lover however, I must make a bibliography... which for me is almost as steamy.

Coffee I can almost chew, a coconut bun, squeedly classic rock electric guitar solos... !

I love it here.

Onward.

Occupy Patriarchy! A Rant on the Perhaps Imagined Experience of Gender at Occupy Minneapolis

First, I will share a link to an awesome blog post by Kathy Miriam:

http://occupypatriarchy.org/2011/11/04/manifestoing-feminism-occupy-patriarchy/

I share it because I spent my early afternoon today at the occupation in down town Minneapolis, a 10 minute bike ride from Augsburg. The Wall Street protests have been occupying a significant amount of my time and energy lately, since I am writing my big, final women's studies paper on the movement through a feminist lens.

There are so many great things about it, and coming off of years of dreaming of being alive in the sixties to take part in those social changes, to be part of this is exhilarating. I've been browsing blogs and news articles, and reading books on post-modern feminism and justice movements and getting really, really excited.

And then I actually go to the protests (I've been a couple of times), and consistently leave feeling down trodden, hopeless, and peeved at being called cute by old men. The General Assemblies are disorganized and inefficiently run by the loudest voices of those who don't even believe in consensus. Cocky, twenty something, white boys with personal missions.

Ok. Just one cocky, twenty something, white boy in particular, that while he does a lot for the movement, and gets his name in all the papers, he still calls old ladies "F*cks" behind their backs and wins NO points in my book. So there's him.

Then there are the old men who seem to think that because I make eye contact with them, we're best friends. NOT that I don't like old men. I love old men! I can spend hours talking to them about history, politics and our current situation just fine. I get aggravated when they start calling me cute and dominating my conversations.

This rant should be going in a word document to be used in my paper...

Today, when I interviewed women, they listened to my questions, and answered accordingly. They did not linger, or call attention to my intelligence or glimmering eyes.

The men listen to one question and then talk at me for thirty minutes about how they feel about the money system, or where they were when the moon landing happened.

Why is it important that my eyes sparkle with intelligence, that I probably have a man in my life, or that I am cute enough to be mayor?*

Why can't I skirt the crowds and do my work without being gendered? SEXUALIZED!?

It's not fair, and in a movement that strives for fairness and an equality of voice, it's discouraging to see patriarchy dominate on the street level.

That's where my heart and mind is this evening, I'll keep you posted with hopefully more positive reports.


*Yes, this happens.

I Want to be an Art Fair Girl Forever

I spent most of my superb day thus far at the Uptown Art Festival.

I've known that plot of land as long as I can remember, yet sometimes I can't recognize it without white tents.

In the last few years, I HAVE begun to understand that area in terms of Magers and Quinn, the book store, the Uptown Theater, the Lakes, Saint Sabrina's, and Codey's apartment not far away.

(I am pretty sure I got my really cool, hard cover copies of Moby Dick, Hard Times, and 10,000 Leagues under the Sea at Magers and Quinn!)

More than a decade ago, an even more compact sized me roamed those streets, talking with artists, wrapping pottery and going on ice runs. I am still good at it!

This weekend, I have been hanging out with a potter-friend-of -the-family at the show. As a member of, "Team Kick Ass" yesterday, I helped set up the booth with all the pottery and put price tags on with much ease, and then started selling things right away.

I want to keep doing this, the fun part... let someone else do all the hard work... but that doesn't seem quite right.

Rita's finally started coming around to thinking about taking over the Morris land with me some day. We will farm and make art, and I will somehow be the road girl who travels around selling our wares. How neat it would be to make pottery... Morris Pottery 4 Lyf!

This is difficult thinking when I am still so in love with this city, but maybe we'll run our course.

Anyway.
I am going to take a nap instead of packing.

Future Lily seeks 3 Roommates to Share First Home

6 Months from now, I will be searching for apartments I could actually live in, right now, I am just exploring, and dreaming.

To you, unknowing three, we could all live in a red house at the bend of the Mississippi. We'd have a yard, a porch, and even front steps. Hardwood floors, cedar paneling, and even "interesting" tile work in the bathroom. We can have pets, if Kraken counts as a pet... we could even have a cat, bunny, chinchilla or two! Provided we pay a reasonable deposit.

Four bedrooms would mean one for each of us, and there would be lots of extra space to furnish.

It would take on feel of us.

For me at least, this would be my first "real" adult home, if college counts as adulthood with training wheels. I've learned a lot from living on Campus, but I am sure it becomes wildly different once one ventures out.

Naturally, we will all be busy learning how to properly pay bills, and adjusting, so we won't see that much of each other... but since we'll have a spacious house with a porch AND a yard, I was hoping we can have parties. Nothing crazy of course. Just nights where we all invite friends we haven't seen (because we're not on campus anymore!) and revel in having a space of our own in which we can foster such fellowship.

I'll work on my aversion to dirty dishes, and maybe even raise my cleanliness standards a notch. I can be pretty tidy if motivated.

There will be laundry right in the basement.

We'll be securely nestled in the bosom of the Twin Cities, a short trek from the Light Rail, and not terribly far from each down town. Dino's would be further, but that just means my legs will be stronger. The proximity to the river bend promises many good walks.

Oh, Friends! Let's go there now! Forget school! Let's live!

I don't mean that. All this fantasizing is based on one house I found, which will assuredly not still be there when I am looking to sign a lease next April, but it still got the juices flowing.

Next year, I will find something just as wonderful, if not better. Until then, I'm leaving on the training wheels.

Confessions of a Creeper, from the Creeper Window

Kathy just walked by as I sat here; I beckoned her over and we chatted through the window screen.

Oh creeper window.

Oh, Creeping!

1) I need to stop saying that I "stalk" people. Innocent as my motives usually are, no one wants to be "stalked." Then I'd just become some poor, misunderstood stalker.

- Colin suggested I say, "Dig their style." Instead of, "Hello juggler boy, I've been stalking you since you gave me your business card when I was 12," Say, "Hello Juggler Boy, It is so nice to finally meet you, I've dug your style for a while now."

It's going to take some getting used to.

This has happened before. Note, "The Norwegian." He wasn't really Norwegian, I just figured he was since he was blond and wore a pea coat, and from a distance he looked like Oscar Wilde.

Over the course of a couple months, I began to notice him all over, and by the end I'd become familiar with the times and places where our paths would cross. NOT a big deal.

When I finally visited him at his place of work, I spouted out in my most nervous english dialect, "HimynameisLilyandIthinkyoulooklikeOscarWilde,andum,maybewecouldhangoutsometime."

To which I received a baffled, "Well... Um... I am at work right now... So... uh." Then I ran away.

I've never been able to recover from that one... and I don't think bringing a totally awesome dead bird I found to that same place of work helped my cause.

Wish me luck in my self redemption.

Sniffles resound

Sitting in Luther apartment eating egg noodles with butter and cheese for dinner.

Worked for 3 hours today, and this after sleeping for no more than that upon returning from the Harry Potter Finale.

Now it's done.

Going to finish my noodles while watching South Park in my Pjs, waiting for the maintenance man to come back. Then I will fall into a well earned rest, to awaken at 4 to go to Stockholm, Wisconsin.

Such is my life.

Brief,
but this is a prime primary source!

Insights from the Creeper Window

Janelle joined me this morning as I sat in my wonderful chair, drinking tea and reading "Narcissus and Goldmund" by Herman Hesse.

Three things:
1)Narcissus and Goldmund and the idea of difference
2)Relationships
3) Life isn't so bad"

This really isn't a fluid order... but we'll see.

First, a brief run down of Narcissus and Goldmund this far. Narcissus is a young teacher at a monastery. He has been there all his life, and is greatly respected by his peers and students. Goldmund is a young man who has come to the monastery at his father's wishes with hopes to study hard, and eventually join the monastery himself, leading a pious and chaste life.

As a good reader of character, Narcissus can tell that the monastic life is not one for Goldmund, who has yet to see his true vocation. The two become good friends, here, they discuss difference:

"They had been talking about astrology, a forbidden science that was not pursued in the cloister. Narcissus had said that astrology was an attempt to arrange and order the many different types of human beings according to their natures and destinies. At this point Goldmund had objected: 'You're forever talking of differences-- I've finally recognized a pet theory of yours. When you speak of the great difference that is supposed to exist between you and me, for instance, it seems to me that this difference is nothing but your strange determination to establish differences.'
Narcissus: 'Yes. You've hit the nail on the head. That's it: to you, differences are quite unimportant; to me, they are what matters most. I am a scholar by nature; science is my vocation. And science is, to quote your words, nothing but the 'determination to establish differences.' Its essence couldn't be defined more accurately. For us, the men of science, nothing is as important as the establishment of differences; science is the art of differentiation. Discovering in every man that which distinguishes him from others is to know him.'
Goldmund: 'If you like. One man wears wooden shoes and is a peasant; the other wears a crown and is a king. These are differences, I grant you. But children can see them too, without any science.'
Narcissus: ' But when peasant and king are dressed alike, the child can no longer tell one from the other.'
Goldmund: 'Neither can science."
Narcissus: 'Perhaps it can. Not that science is more intelligent than the child, but it has more patience; it remembers more than just the most obvious characteristics.'
Goldmund: 'So does any intelligent child. He will recognize the king by the look in his eyes, or by his bearing. To put it plainly: you learned men are arrogant, you always think everybody else stupid. One can be extremely intelligent without learning.'
Narcissus: 'I am glad that you're beginning to realize that. You'll soon realize, too, that I don't mean intelligence when I speak of the difference between us. I do not say, you are more intelligent, or less intelligent; better or worse. I merely say, you are different.'
...

It goes on, but I feel like I've already transcribed too much. I like it as a discussion of difference not being good or bad, and that sometimes, in academia we put too much weight in differences, mostly because it is necessary for study, but when does it become arrogant?

I'd be interested in continuing the discussion started last winter in Queer studies, focusing on the idea of difference, and maybe even Narcissus' definition.

~*~*~*~

Ok... I'm already a bit written out, but I'll at least say a little. Sitting in our Creeper chairs, great discussion ensued- as it often does- between Janelle and I. We are perched in the summer before our senior year of college. Already, I'm moving away from my Coast Guard dreams of justice and adventure, and into a more resigned mindset of work, rent, and pay checks. In many ways, I am young Goldmund, and I am eager to see how he figures it out.

We talked-as we often do- of relationships. Janelle is in a good one, I am still "dating." We tried to define what that really means. I am still uncomfortable with the idea of a RELATIONSHIP being something that you can invest your whole self with... in the end, I just wish it wasn't a part of life. Janelle said something really good... but now I can't remember it.

What this post comes down to though, is that I am ok with the now. Unlike yesterday. While I still see the next three months looming in financial struggle and social strife, I'm not too concerned.

Well... Darn

I am feeling a bit dumb.

I didn't get registered for "The Designed Environment" and it turns out that you have to pay up front for summer classes. That was supposed to start today, and that is why I am back.

I don't have the $2,000 for it... so... here I am.

I am feeling the most upset right now, because I could have spent a full two more days at home.

Instead, I am here, feeling sorry for myself. After having so many days off, there's nothing I am trying to pack in... except for being at home.

I intend to get out and get stuff done, and to stop moping.

I REALLY want to call my mom, but I left my phone charger in her car. The last text message I was able to send was asking for her to mail it to me.

It is definitely not productive to be sitting around here wishing I could be sitting around at home. Yet this is the most homesick I've felt in a while.

Plan of action:
1) Take the train to Target; get work shoes that won't give me bunyans, as well as other necessities.
2) Go to Cub for food staples
3) Read. I brought MORE books back that I've been wanting to read.

I am feeling like I do during the school year, when there is so much to do, yet I am inadequate to do ANY of it.

Bliargh.

Summer's here!

The moon is right between the Wells Fargo building and the IDS Tower (?) It matches really well. Really reminds me that I am on a planet. :)

Today, I feel was a "classic" college experience.

Having konked out at 4am after getting as far as I could through Foucault chapter summaries, AND a load of laundry, I tried to get up at 8:30. 8:30 turned into 9:30, and when I settled into write, I discovered that while my battery slowly drained, my power cord did nothing to assist.

My first instinct was to email it to myself, and work on it in the Urness computer lab. So I did, but the documents weren't compatible. This meant all my formatting was messed up, including fonts and sizes. Too complicated. I panicked and said bad words.

After calling my mom and calming down, I called Que Computers to see if they had a power cord that would work. They did! I rode my bike, and it was nice, and everything got back in order. I spent the rest of the day writing, and finished with time to spare!

This was one of those things they tell you happens when you're in Orientation.

I presented my research for Queer Studies in Oren 100, just like a real academic conference! I made jello animals to represent Foucault's archaeological approach to history, as well as how structures mold the self. Heh heh heh. It was fun. I'd say I will miss this project, but it will never be over! I am happy about that.

And now I am done, pajamaed and alone in my room, facing the last two days living with Erica in college.

She's not here. ... I plan on watching Netflix. Guilt free! (Guilt free because I will not be not doing homework. Not because Erica makes me feel guilty. Thought I'd specify).

But anyway, summer is here. I somehow made it through last semester. It's too near for proper reflection, but I know I learned a lot.

Next semester, Kathy said that we can write priorities on a board, so we can ask eachother about them. I like that Idea. I also like that Kathy will be with me in student senate. It's exciting being Secretary again, though I kind of feel like I am hogging the position. I like meetings, I like taking notes... I guess that's all right!

Ah.

Summer.
First plans:
Finish Lolita
Buy plane tickets to visit Martin!
Start work at Dino's on MONDAY!
Cultivate garden plot.

Still on the Train

It's 8:19am. I am sitting on my couch, already sinking into despair.

I don't know how I am going to finish this semester. I have a 10 page coin project,10 page Foucault project, and a 6-8 page Post Colonial research project.

Each alone wouldn't be so bad, but I have approximately two weeks to do them all.

And on top of that, I am far behind, and my mind is not on my side.

Jessica Nathanson was a hero of mine.
I don't want to get teary and expressive. I can barely talk to my friends about it, much less a faceless blog.

I took Thursday and Friday off, and didn't do anything responsible on Saturday or Sunday. If riding a bike isn't responsible... I guess that counts for physical health.

And now, even though I thought I stepped off the train of emotional turmoil, I think I am still on it.

My counselor at the CCHP the day I found out (before I found out) told me about the train, and how I need to know when to get off, or else I will let it carry me too far. It's nice being on the train. You don't have to ask questions.

Meanwhile, life continues and projects become due.

70 degree highs, a wonderful bicycle, yard sales and a new Netflix account woo me.

Cameron still has Jessica's Men's Studies book. We're going to study it on our own this summer. He told me about an article concerning men in women dominated jobs and how World War II messed everything up.

I love WWII as a turning point...

But then I get sad... because the only reason I can even THINK about Men's Studies and gender roles is because of Jessica Nathanson.

I want to carry on the legacy, but I am weak. My passions are aimless.

Spring

My last post was about starting Foucault, and just last night, I finished it.

How could I have known what that relationship would become! Never have I read something so critically. 250 pages, and EACH page has underlines and margin notes.

Our relationship will change now. What used to be the simple act of hanging out now has to turn into active research and writing.

I am on the third floor of the library, in a corner I've never used before between the study rooms and the conference space with big windows. After this post, I am going to crank out at least three over due reading responses for Post Colonial Fiction.

For that class, I am half way through "Cracking India" by Bapsi Sidhwa. It is really good, and I love the main character, "Lenny." She's 7 and absolutely nutty. I am scared though, because she lives in Lahore, and things are starting to go down. People are going to die. It's going to break my heart.

I love tragic coming of age stories. See also, "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn" by Betty Smith and "The Heart is a Lonely Hunter" by Carson McCullers.

Maybe someday I will become a professor of the history of the thought of coming of age and girlhood.

Anyway.
This weekend was a great one. On Saturday I rode the two the The Wilde Roast Cafe to meet Visser. The windows on the bus were open, and the people watching was prime. The Cafe was wonderful too. We talked the whole time about theory as pretentiously as we could, because we were with each other. Visser is taking what sounds like a really really really awesome English class, and I am going to email her professor to see if I can sit in on it one day.

When Visser and I got back to Augsburg, we tried to build a fire in Murphey park, but failed. I am strongly considering disowning myself as my father's daughter.

Today, I signed a housing contract with Janelle for the summer. We applied for a 2 person, 2 bedroom in Luther. It's kind of pricey, but it will go onto my financial aid account, and I will have my own room for four months before sharing a space with 15 others. I am very excited, but both of us hate doing dishes...I guess if we both hate it, we can't be mad at the other for being lazy right?

It should be fun. I am definitely getting into summer prep.

Yesterday, I started plotting my trip to visit Martin in Amherst. I can get there on the Megabus for only $50 (compared to $160 on the cheapest flight). It's a bit indirect however, which only means that I will get to have mini-side trips in Chicago, Cleveland, Pittsburgh, New York and Washington D.c. Then, on the way back, I fully intend to stop for a few days in Asheville, North Carolina. There's a hostel there that looks lovely, and it is right above a brewery. I am hoping to get cheeseburgers and fancy beer with Australians... or whatever fellow travelers I happen to be sharing a bunk with. As for Amherst, I will be spending at least a week at Martin's house. Cousins are the best!

Iowa is calling me with nostalgic tones. I want to go back to Decorah with Fred and Colin, almost 3 years and many changes later. Lake Okibojee's gotta happen too. :)

Morris/Lewis Family reunion in August in Detroit to celebrate Camillo's marriage.

Colin still wants to go to Colorado. Cameron wants to go to the Grand Canyon. I need a job.

I have a job actually. Last week, I emailed Dino's saying that I really enjoyed working with them, and would like to see if they had any place for me this summer. Alysia replied right away, and I am meeting with her on Wednesday to discuss my "opportunities." She said that I was one of their favorite workers. That makes me happy, because I DID enjoy working for them. A summer with Dino's could mean art fairs, sporting events or even a place at one of their stores. It also means busy shifts that fly by and leave me with money in my pocket, and sacks full of gyros to keep me sustained.

But if I am going to be working for them, I don't want to have to say, "Oh yeah, but I need ALL this time off." Hopefully they will be understanding.

I have a crush. I don't know how to deal with it. I am kind of dopey.

I made a bet with Alex. I won.

The Use of Pleasure... in Homework?

For some reason I feel the most need to blog when I am crazy busy with no REAL time to spare.

It is almost ten on Saturday morning. In two and a half hours until the CAO leadership somethingorother I said I'd go to for Senate, and History Club. That lasts until four, and then ... well, I guess I will have a few hours before going to the Acadia to celebrate Ali's getting into grad school. Before I can dream of grad school, let's talk about all the great stuff I'll be doing this week!

My assignment book for today reads:
Morning w/ Visser, Central Library- Never happened :(
Lingerie? - probably won't happen, but I DO need lingerie.
Bar w/ Ali
Too Much Love- I don't want to go to Too Much Love. I want to stay here and watch cartoons with Alan.

Also:

Apply for Jobs, internships
Noon Rally at Capital-- CAN'T GO BECAUSE OF CAO!!!
Read: Polybius, Foucault

~~~

I've heard that Polybius is boring, so I think if I read anything it is going to be "The Use of Pleasure" by Michel Foucault... or maybe his Short Introduction-which I got from the mail room yesterday... and read during economics.

I am really excited about Foucault. For Queer Studies, I had originally thought about doing my paper as a historic analysis of the significance of Molly Houses and gay bars for networking... but my interest waned, and I ended up not doing the required work... So I talked to Professor Lowe yesterday, and now I am super jived up to write about Foucault. My thesis is going to be something along the lines of, "What the ___ Is Foucault trying to say in the second volume of his History of Sexuality?" It's great, because though Foucault comes up all the time, I don't really know that much about him, so this paper will help me get started. So I want to do that... and I know that I can't justify sleeping, or being lazy any longer for any reason, because while I did work hard this week, I could have worked harder, and I have no excuse.

I also need to do a Queer studies post class response from two classes ago. :P pphhhhbbt.

Oh, and let's see, what else:

My Abeng rough draft. I submitted my first three, hastily written pages for peer review on Thursday, and my peers were very helpful. Now I need to finish that by next Thursday.

Besides that, I guess it's not so bad (NOT REASON ENOUGH TO BE LAZY!)

My unstarted numismatics(study of coins) project is looming in the background, as well as the nagging internship and job gremlins that will not let me rest until I apply for them... yet I can't bring myself to do it... just like I can't bring myself to loosen the strings on my guitar so it doesn't warp, even though it will take three seconds... brb.

I didn't want to do it because I tuned it up so nicely last week... but I'd rather tune it again, than not be able to play at all when the neck is bent... Sigh.

So, that was easy. Do I take that as initiative to kick it into 2nd gear? To put on some pants and start my day?

I think so.
Foucault!

Ice Cream

I am hiding in my room as Erica, Matt, Jack and Jenny are in the living room. I was reading Chinua Achebe's Things Fall Apart, and people came over just as I was finishing the assigned portion.

Then we went to Urness for ice cream. On the 9th floor we filled our bowls with ice cream, and then worked our way down, stopping on each floor getting toppings. Magdalen was on the 7th floor, and she gave us crushed Oreos. Thank you, Res Life!

I wanted to go to sleep long ago.

This weekend was fun. Friday was the All Nighter. I volunteered through all of it for Mary who helped organize it with ASAC. I helped make signs, handed out pop corn, and after Bo Burnum I helped clean up. It was a very rewarding experience, and I think I had more fun volunteering than I have had attending in the past. I also played Dodgeball. My team consisted of me, Steve and J-Steve, but then another Steve, and two others joined us. We played two matches and lost both, but it was still a lot of fun.

On Saturday, Erica and I went grocery shopping together for the first time. We ran into Alex on the way to Seward, and discussed dinner plans. I thought that I was exempt from the dinner at Ali's because I was going to Burlesque with Alan, but as it turned out Alan was going to dinner too, so I got to go after all. Alex made delicious squash ravioli, and Erica made a salad. From there, Alan and I went to Lili's Burlesk Review's Best of the Midwest for the Third year in a row, and it was, as always, magnificent.

Jazz band run out on Sunday morning, and after a whole day of sleeping, lounging and watching How I Met Your Mother, Jenny and I adventured to Dinkytown for tacos at Burrito Loco.

Then, I had a date to watch Requiem for a Dream. *Shudder

Reel Love

I just went to "Reel Love," a student starred, produced, written and directed play at Sateren Auditorium.

My friend Jack has been working on it for a really long time, so I went to see him.

Turns out there were a lot of awesome people in it, and the play ROCKED.

Go see it.

About what I said about posts in January...

Oops.

Classes started yesterday, and I am feeling really happy about being here, even though I've forgotten what I am supposed to do with "homework."

Later, I will read all about the splendid Alexander the Great, some excerpts from Conrad's "Heart of Darkness" which I really wanted to read last semester, and should have read over break because it related to Mary Kingsley, and finally chapter 2 of my Intro to Queer Studies book. Mmmm.

Today, as I waked from Oren back to the Enrollment Center (stay tuned), I felt awash with goodness, the same feeling I had nearly THREE years ago when I was still just fantasizing about being an Auggie in Minneapolis, but new and evolved and enriched. :)

I've gotten to know a lot of people, and I see many of them every day, and we say hi to each other!!!

So, my deal with the Enrollment Center was that I realized my Social Science requirement couldn't be filled by two Poli-Sci classes, so I had to enroll in... MICROECONOMICS at the last minute.

Yay.
(Not Yay).

On the bright side of that though, when I got to the classroom, my neighbor and Jazz band manager was there, so I sat next to him, and then some more people I knew came and sat by me. That's something I appreciate that I wouldn't have thought about 3 years ago. Sure, it goes along with being a small school, but how great is it to build relationships with people throughout your time here, on all different levels!

Ah yes.

Break finished up really well. I went to Duluth to spend some time with Rita, her Mom and Step-Dad, and my parents came up too. We walked 6 dogs by Lake Superior, and two fell in. Rita had to rescue them. Before she left, Rita visited me here in the City, and we went to Al's Breakfast over in Dinky Town which was one of her favorite places when she was in school at the U.

Then I rested.
Now, I am all confused because it's night time, and I am kind of sleepy and really just want to play on my computer and go to bed, but I think I should hit the library.

There will Probably be lots of posts between now and January 18th

Because it's BREAK, and I am in Minneapolis.

You'll be getting an Augsburg play-by-play.

What I, Lily, do for fun.
Fun, when nothing else burdens my conscious. Oh yes.

Today, I went to Cub, loaded up with enough food to last me through break, and probably well into second semester. It weighed so much I called DPS to pick me up from the light rail, and my shoulders will probably be sore tomorrow.

Everything I need for various pastas, canned soups, and sandwiches. Last night, as I fell asleep, instead of thinking about boys like I usually do, I fantasized about all the food I was going to buy. I think I am most excited for the raviolis with sauce, and my avocados AND bacon, just like what Jacqui had at our History tea party.

Jenny says hi to my gentlereaders.
She just got back to my room, and we are super excited to put together the puzzle I bought for Erica for Christmas (we will put it back in the box, and Erica will never know the difference). We will also watch movies, and have a wonderful night, embracing the sweet frivolity of pseudo-adulthood as we wait for our Pizza-Hut $10 stuffed crust to arrive.

Happy New Year!