I wish I could play trumpet at night

My room feels like a vacuum of creative energy.
That's not true, in the past couple weeks, this room has fostered the creation of THREE acrylic paintings (none of them finished yet, unfortunately) and at least a few hours of solid trumpet practicing... yet, when it has come to writing lately, I've been a void.

So today, I went to Merlin's Rest, where I sang sea shanties with Will, Alexa, and the rest of the shape note crew, or at least the ones that I know. It was fun (the first song they sang when I got there was General Taylor, which I know from my favorite Great Big Sea album). It's a slippery slope indeed, and the next thing I'll know, I'll be singing shapes on Tuesdays. They are all so nice, so open with hugs and acceptance, and the beauty, history and culture that the songs hold hits me in my core with every closing harmony.

I just saw a giant bug crawl by. Erin saw a bug this week, and said, "Ew, I hate ear wigs." I didn't think ear wigs existed up here, and the thought of them is terrifying. Ew. I hate ear wigs.

After singing I stayed at Merlin's, read a little bit from one of the zines I bought at Boneshaker, and then wrote  a letter for the first time in a while over a tall glass of Pimms. Mmmm, Pimms, a summer drink made with Gin, oranges, strawberries, apples, mint and cucumbers.

From there, my writing energies still bubbled, but I knew that if I came back here, they'd allude me yet again, so I went to the C.C. Club for the first time. Pretty cool. Lots of bikes outside. Tattoos. Cake on the jukebox. I wrote another letter, and then became absorbed in a zine called, "The Last Words of a Fucking Asshole." Now, the cadence of the author's candid narrative still courses through my head.

Because it's so personal, and HAND WRITTEN, I feel the urge, a need even, to write back. Letters come easy to me, and I want to zine back and say, "I love the sound my bike makes when it doesn't shift right too, and I know what it feels like to be swept away by those fits of mania, can we get together and talk about seratonin some time?"

And this after only tonight expressing in letter one that I didn't like how my experience of zines thus far has mostly been people with creative illusions that think their lives are amusing... while at the same time struggling with the idea that my very own core philosophy rests on the necessity to share our stories, no matter how trivial.

My zine will have pictures.

I have a big day tomorrow, what with work and wooing, but I don't want to sleep. I'll find something to do. South Park, for example.

Uptown girl... buh duh duh duhduh duhduh Uptown World

I've been a resident of Uptown for almost two weeks now, and where am I?

Hard Times.

The internet at my new place continues to be unsuccessful, and today, I met Erin for brunch at Seward Cafe. I'm feeling very post-grad, mobile, and existential.

I'm still reeling from the last couple weeks: My last paper (I had my first post-college anxiety dream, in which I woke up ((In the dream)) thinking, "OH NO! I DIDN'T ACTUALLY TURN IN THAT PAPER!!!")
My 22nd Birthday (Being 20 was so long ago! Will I be as cool as 25 year olds when I'm 25?)
Graduation (Still not really done... radio internship and all, but I don't want to pay for it).
Grandparents (They've been ridiculously old since I first met them in their 60s...)

AH! I LIVE IN AN APARTMENT, AND I HAVE ENOUGH LOANS TO SUPPORT A FAMILY OF 5 FOR AT LEAST 3 YEARS, AND I WANT TO RUN AWAY, BUT MAYBE I MISSED THE MANIA, AND WILL END UP STAYING IN MINNEAPOLIS YET ANOTHER WINTER.

When I got back from Grandparents', I went to a concert at the Nomad. Second Hand Ska Kings, Matt Wixon's flying Circus, STOP DROP, and ROCK STEADY BREAK FAST.

Lolololol.

I hope this doesn't come up if you google those bands... hm.

In that case, and in all seriousness, the whole show rocked. I thoroughly enjoyed myself, especially after I escaped the weird headspace that plagued me for the first hour.

You see... there's this particular woman... girl, really, who I've been loathing for about a month now. Blah blah blah, non-monogamy, ethics...

For a while, she haunted this whole neighborhood, and then, when I moved to Uptown, I'd see a blonde coming around the next block and brace myself to pounce. Eventually, I got sick of the anger, but wasn't able to really resolve it.

Until... Right before the show, I came to pregame on Coffee at Hard Times, and the blonde around the corner actually was her... and I hid.

But then, I emerged, was civil, and later told her that I am still really upset about the situation, but I don't want things to be bad... and now, while I may never see her again ever, I feel better. !

Life Starts on Tuesday. If a job equals a life... and if that job is fast food, if it really counts as anything...

Haha, actually, my fast food job is going to rock, and I'm really excited. I've been biking around more the last few days, so the 12 mile commute won't kick my butt. That won't really pick up for a while, and even when it does, the shifts are bearable... I wish I only needed the one job. :(

I hope to find another job serving somewhere so I can have funds to sit on in the fall, but I also want to get the most out of this free summer as possible.

Kfai internship. I will email Doug NOW.

Bicycles.

Metamorphosis

I sit in the comfort of my Aunts' house, sipping my hard earned flex point bulk Pepsi with PRIDE, I don't care how much everyone judges me. On the Rocks.

My metamorphosis into an independent being is about to reach another phase today, for I shall leave the safe havens of family and plunge into a basement apartment with craigslist strangers.

Good thing they turned out to only be craigslist strangers by coincidence, and friends of a friend in actuality. I'm really excited, and I'll even have my dear Kathy with whom to share a bed. (Last night Nathan taught me the difference between who and whom. I think I got it right. I want to bring it back, because it's dramatic).

Yesterday was marvelous, and in spite of my initial qualms upon finding Uptownians to be too CLEAN, I think I will have a place there. Though it will be practically impossible not to spend all of my money. I rode my bike all around, stopping first at my new apartment to grab my backpack, then to an art store where I got myself a great present:

A new sketchbook.
3 new pencils, HB, 2H and 5H, Yum.
A gummy eraser
A sharpener
A Prismacolor marker pen for out lining

I then tried them out on a wildlife encyclopedia at the Uptown Library.

Then it was back to the Aunts' to regather. I thought of a FANTASTIC date, and then waited anxiously for Nathan to arrive.

We hastened to Lake Calhoun, and boarded the sailboat we at first thought we missed. There were fun people and a flamenco guitar. From there, it was tasty domestic brews at Williams Peanut Bar, and then romantic wine at Barbette.

As soon as I leave here, it will be a hustle and bustle... I suppose I'll be expected to socialize... and once Ani leaves, I should un pack, lest I live out of boxes until July like last year. How did Janelle handle it?

Then, Saturday morning, my mom and I go to missouri again.

Every New Beginning is another new beginning's End

I end as I began... In the Honor's Suite, eating Cheez-its.



I am drawing out the completion of this paper, for once I hit send, I'm done.

For good. 

It will be interesting to see what end I end up actually missing... Will I really miss cheez-its and coke that much? 

Will I miss my classmates?

What about the squirrels, the practice rooms, the quad? 

I'll miss the cotton wood trees.

My professors. 

The outlets for academic discussion...

None of it's really leaving... Except me...

Huh.

Ok. I'll have another blog before the real end I'm sure, but ... here I go.
 

 

Almost huit in the Honor's Suite

Quick Post.

(Excuse my poor, franglish attempt at a NoFx reference)

At the Honors Banquet, we all got nostalgic.

Here I sit Monday evening in the Honors Suite, and I am one of 8 honorable, lap top absorbed students.

Typey typey type.

There really is a magic in it.

Also, let me just say it's almost 7, and the sun is still in my eyes as I sit in the west facing window. SUN. At SEVEN. A couple months ago, it would be dark after JAZZ BAND.

Summer! I love you!

"All Nighter"

The sky turns purple as I write.

It wasn't a real all nighter. I came here to the Honor's Suite at 9, Kathleen, Ingrid and Katie joined me at 11, and I fell asleep at two. I slept on the couch, dreaming of postmodernism and paper structures until five, and then Kathleen left. 

Now I'm left alone, with an unwritten paper and warm mcdonald's coke.

Luckily, I DID do research, it's just a matter of turning it into a paper now, which over the years, I HAVE grown pretty good at. 

Thus begins the next three days of self abuse, with the hope and dream that come Thursday, everything will be done, and I can wake up on the morning of the anniversary of my birth, and greet my 23rd year with an unburdened mind. 

This is the end, my friends.

 

College Bucket List

Recently, there have been a few significant accomplishments in my college career.

As stated in my last post, two of my goals were to present at a conference, and get into the student juried art show.

I DID speak at the conference, and I at least entered the art show. I didn't get in, even though my painting was awesome, but making the step to enter was a pretty big deal. So, check.

Another goal I didn't know I had until tonight, but it has always loomed in my mind as, "I wish I was cool enough to be part of that tradition."

As long as I've known Colin, I've known about the annual Echo Joke issue and what that entails; all of Augsburg's most satirical minds coming together to stay up LATE in the Echo office putting together an issue of utter nonsense.

Well, my friends, I was there. I stayed up past my bedtime drawing AWESOME pictures, that are actually too obscene to discuss here. Please, pick up a copy of the, "Augsburg Libido" this Friday, and let me stress that the terribly offensive art work submitted by, "Whorance Night'n'tail" and "Poonsan B. Anthorny" has no connection to yours truly.

That said, I rock.

(.)(.)

In other news.
I've been stressing about the future. That future being the next 23 days until I GRADUATE FROM COLLEGE, and the weeks soon after. I didn't have a job, a place to live, or even an internship to complete my Women's Studies Major.

WELL.
1) Job. I texted Alysia from Dino's to see if I could get a job at their Edina store, and she gave a resounding, "Of Course!" Then, when I talked to her today, she said that she couldn't wait. It makes me feel good to have such a positive environment to work in. Sure, my grandma said a bit condescendingly, with an air of disappointment in her voice that she, "Understands that after so many years of rigorous study, I'd want to go to something easier day to day." Ha. Fast food is pretty straight forward, but I think it can benefit from hard work. I like it. My bosses are great, my co-workers are fun ( I wonder what they'll be like in Edina!) and I get FED. EVERY DAY.

2) Domicile. A while ago, I found a guy on craigslist looking for a roommate. He seemed desirable because he knew what he wanted, and was cool. Well. Turns out he knew what he wanted a bit too specifically... and sucks to be me, he doesn't have a set move out date so... he's gonna look for the perfect place. So, I took initiative and accepted that I'd be paying a lot for a studio, but then I found a sublet from May to September in Uptown for a reasonable price. I hope it works out. This means all summer I get to ride my bike around the lakes to and from work, eat gyros and live in UPTOWN! Who knows what September will bring.

3) Internship. I finally listened to my mother's prodding and emailed Doug the Thug from KFAI's Live from Studio Five, who I met at a Sunny Era/Brass Messengers concert two Octobers ago. He's all about me interning 10 hours a week, and Jacqui agreed to make it count for Women's Studies. I will be learning about radio tech, and be at the heart of the musical hipster scene in Minneapolis. I'll also have opportunities to write things, and maybe even learn more about broadcasting! I'll have an official title!

Things are working out.

... Now... If I can just pass Art class.