Coffee and Jade Plants Mostly

I've been trying to write a blog since Tuesday the 8th, and each time, I start the same way, and each time, I give up after no more than two lines.

It is a Saturday. The first real, full, college Saturday of the semester, and I sit by myself on the couch, blogging, and waiting for someone to call me, or text me, or ANYTHING... Nope.

I got down on myself about this for a while, but then I decided that I don't want to approach anyone simply because I don't want to approach anyone!

I seized the evening, and reminded myself of the simple things I have to enjoy, like Holiday Station coffee in a Styrofoam cup, and my little jade plant which I love. I sorted laundry, demolished some piles, arranged my books... productivity? I have plenty of work to do, but it's Saturday. I will spend the rest of my night reading Cat's Cradle (!) and eating Ben and Jerry's. If I am going to be alone on a Saturday night, I am going to do it right!

I really wish I had more to say. School is great. I am happy. I have a weekend job with Dino's Gyros that I shamelessly enjoy. Books to read. Time. Knowledge.

ANI DIFRANCO TOMORROW!

I promise better titles in the future

I looked at my original blogs as promised, and noticed they all have cool titles... lately, my titles have been lame.

I have fifteen minutes until lunch, and I am sitting with the rest of the Augsem leaders in a Sverdrup computer lab. I have some time to kill, so why not blog a minute by minute up date of AUGSEM TRAINING!

Whoot Woo!

I've already been in training since 8:30, but time has been flying... it might be because I have zoned out a bit more today. That is bad, but I am still paying enough attention to get by I think.

Bad habit.

I have a lot to do tonight after training, and it's really freaking me out. While back in March, I was a text book type A, I think I have slipped breezily back into type B... enjoying waits in line... naps... lalala... With impending school doom, I need to buckle down.

Marrta and I had a good talk about it last night. We're both freaked out, and it feels good that I am not alone. I know that we're not the only ones, but it's still intimidating. I almost feel like I am not ready, but I can't keep telling myself that.

Time for pizza.

Back to School

I think it's safe to say that this is the first blog of the school year. I have to start really blogging now, and not just whatever it is that I have been doing.

I don't know what I am supposed to be doing.

Mike Perry showed us Augsem leaders and ResLife kids a blog from Kansas University, and it was all... accurate? I wonder if my portrayal is accurate.

I should go back and read my blogs from the "First six weeks" and see if they look like they're supposed to.

What do I blog about? Feelings? Activities? Classes? Social Life? I need input. Seriously... comment or facebook me, help me to paint a better picture.

Today I...

Woke up at 6 am, moments before my alarm went off, showered, packed, and left Visser's apartment in St. Paul. I got back to Augsburg at 7:40am, and quietly (hopefully) fumbled around the apartment here getting ready for Augsem training. I was exhausted because after a full day of work the day before, Visser and I stayed up later than recommended by my conscious to draw pictures. Training went fast, but I still feel a bit beaten.

After training, I took a nap, and then Marrta and I went school shopping at the Lake Street Target. I bought paper for my binders, pens, postits, and chocolate. Some how I spent more than $30. When we got back, I put the paper in the binders and got excited.

Professor Lansing already has the Syllabus for Latin American History posted on moodle. That makes me happy because I was able to put deadlines in my planner. I will have to read a whole book for each class. It's taken me two months to read Virginity Lost... this will be interesting. I am still really excited though.

I am sure other professors have syllabi posted too, but that was the only one I looked at.

Then I ate the rest of my lunch sandwich, came to my room and wallowed in being lonely. I am lonely, but I do not have the energy to do anything about it.

No doubt some of these feelings come from the goings on of last week.

BUMMER.

Tomorrow, as I mentioned is more training, and then Saturday and Sunday are my last days at the Fair. Visser told me that I have Dairy Queen syndrome, which is when you secretly love your job inspite of all your gripes. It's no secret. This has probably been one of the most fun jobs I've had... probably even above JJ's (Not above KBEK though!)

1)KBEK
2)Dino's
3)JJ's
4)Auggie Guide
40) Custodian I

:)

The people are all really fun, time goes fast, it's the fair... and what else can I say? Sometimes I begrudge going in, but it's always a great experience afterwards.

Fun Fun Fun.

School scares me, but it will be great.

Summer 2009 in Review

These days are numbered.
Mmmm, the romance in sitting alone in the living room, eating fruit from the can, and crunchy white rice, doused in soy sauce swiped from the Mall food court. I stayed in bed until 11am. It's afternoon. It's day. It's Summer.

Colin leaves for Prague tomorrow morning, and tonight we are having a going away party for him in the park. Then he's gone. Just four months though. However, considering what the last 4 months held, that might be a big deal.

Then on Friday I start my job at the State Fair. I went in for Orientation yesterday, and it looks like it will be a strenuous, yet bearable 2 weeks, and by the end, I'll have my books paid for.

So Lily, what have you learned in your first summer on your own?

I've had 4 jobs. 2 days as an Environmental canvasser. 2 months as a Mall custodian. A weekend as Art Fair help, and now a cashier at the Minnesota State Fair.

Jobs are a skeleton of what else went on.

I am living the starving college student ideal! I know I have said that before... but really... It has been stressful, and hard, but It's perfect! Being a truly poor college student isn't something you can fake, and it makes everything better.

I made friends! As I embark on Fall Semester 2009, I feel like I have some kind of home base here at Augsburg. I have people. I have people to spend time with, and to talk to. I really hope that it's not superficial.

I've Adventured!

I've made bad decisions.

I've learned stuff about myself that makes sense... even if it is a bit discouraging.

And now, I am ready to go back to Augsburg as it was last year. To take it back for what it really is. I can NOT wait to start my classes. My books look phenomenal, and I can't wait to start discussing them! AH!

14 Again

It really just happened by accident... This being 14 thing... It started when I got home and needed shoes.

I didn't pack shoes because I knew that I have a ton lying around here that would be snug but usable. So I dug. I dug through the Sketchers, the huge white Filas, and tattered Converse, until finally I found both of my hot pink laced black Etnies, Circa 2005. Begin transformation.

Step Two: I dug out my bright yellow Rex T-shirt That I haven't worn in years because I spilled wine on it.

Next Step: The Man Purse. The over-sized-for-practical-use, but perfect for my intentions, camoflaged, hand-decorated "purse" I bought from Target for $5 Circa 2006.

(((So maybe I'm more 15 again... which I don't mind... I loved that year)))

Optional Booster Course: The Pink, Leopard printed diary which starts in 2003. "No boy friends until AFTER 8th Grade!!!" Gosh Darn-it! "I don't like my friends!" "Donnie and I talked for THREE hours last night! :) :) " "OMG! Donnie talked for THREE WHOLE HOURS LAST NIGHT!" HAHAHA! I love this...

Current Phase: Today I am going cliff jumping with Ogilvie friends. The last time I went cliff jumping was in Canada with the Cramtons. Claire gave me her old pink swimsuit to use... again, this was 2006 at the latest. I will be using that same Swimsuit.

Most of the power is in the shoes for sure. Just like Cinderella (CURSE YOU GROVEN!)... Shoes are important. They are a part of your life for significant chunks. I remember buying those shoes, and how excited I was. I remember many adventures on which they accompanied me. When I was 16... 17... I cast them aside for the next new thing I thought I needed, while they still had life left in them!

So now I have a brand new pair of shoes, with only ONE little hole. They've been with me already, and they'll be with me again with new places to see and stories to tell.

I know that they are dorky, that they represent a part of me that wanted to fit in to the point of following fads... But I still like the shoes and that's part of what makes them so cool... Maybe it's symbolic of re-embracing my childhood for incorporation to today.

I am enjoying this.

Hopefully I will be able to make it through this week at this pace without inflicting serious damage on my soul.

TOM ROBBINS!

Me Time! :)

I am sitting with my back on the foot board, facing out towards I-94 and the parking lot tree.

I am in a good mood.

However, I leave for work at 2:00pm to embark on a 3 day streak, which I hope will be my last. Hooray! This means it is 9 days until the UpTown, and 12 days until I go home... but who's counting?

So, I haven't worked since last Wednesday, and the interim week has been one filled with glorious solitude. I've been playing my lovely, lovely, guitar, and have kind of learned "Both Hands" by Ani Di Franco, and I've worked through a few exercises in my Christopher Parkening Guitar Method book. Guitar- Check.

I've also been drawing pictures. Art-Check
Writing Letters. Writing- Check
Reading Tom Robbins and "Virginity Lost." Educational Reading- Check.
Watching That 70s Show. Mindless Self-Indulgence- Check.

Solitude wonderful solitude.

There has been a peppering of Social Interaction as well, added to taste. Yesterday, Colin, Paul and I did a double feature at the Edina Cinema. First we saw "Moon" by Duncan Jones, and then (after getting Sushi at Lunds) Saw "Tetro" by Francis Ford Coppola. Both amazed me, but I thought Tetro was magnificent.

*Shudder of delight*

I really don't know what else I can say beyond that I LOVE good films. GOOD you know? !!!! I love having Film Major friends...

Later that evening Colin and I planned out our next week, and filled it up with marvelous activities Ranging from New Brunswick Day to Harold and Maude at Midnight. Yes Sir.

Today is the last Soar Session. I administered Surveys like before, only this time with Ali. I loved it. I love seeing the new faces, and meeting new people, who will soon be my friends. I also love knowing that I might help someone's first year experience be at least a little more bearable. Corny, yes... but... I like helping. It feels good.

SO.
Right now is a happy time.
Still dreading work.

Soar and rampant optimism

I can't tell if I am comforted or frightened by the eagerness of my Type-A personality to kick in to school mode. It started yesterday when I was getting ready to go the the Auggie Town Play, and Ali sent me on a mission to print off some questionaires.

I ran to Foss, hurried down the steps, and signed into a computer. Then I rushed to find the right printer and set up, and printed off "60" (I think tons more actually printed) pages, and ran to Sateren for the play. The thrill that I got from doing a task within a time slot, and being rewarded with the smell of printer fresh paper was extraordinary! On top of that, I went to the play, and watched skits about studying, time management, relationships, and parents. It brought me right back, and I loved it.

Loved it loved it loved it.

But that's not all!

This morning I woke up early to fill in the questionaires at SOAR registration. I put my hair in a pony-tail, donned Auggie gear and bought myself a tasty coffee. Then for two hours, I put on a suit of caffeinated extroversion, and met a ton of brand new Auggies!

This is what reminds me what I am doing here. I love this. I love people, I love learning, so yeah, summer might be sucking, but it's all right, because in a few weeks, it will be academia again.

Also, it concerned me that all the new Auggies would replace me. The fear of an older sister expecting a new baby sibling... knowing that they won't be getting as much attention anymore with a new baby in the house... but I am even ok with that now after seeing the happy new Auggie faces that will soon become such a prominent visage (is that right?) of Augsburg.

And I'll still be the big sister.

Then... I showered, cleaned, AND VACUUMED, started laundry and ate a breakfast of my new favorite snack: Plain yogurt (the cow on the carton's name is Lily) Cherry Vanilla granola, and honey. I even took my vitamins.

I actually feel nourished and ready for the rest of the day... but I might take a nap. Fred and I are going to Como Zoo later.

Hooray!