Just now, while talking to my mother about various other dissonances in my life, I remembered something: I am good at biology.
All through my public education, biology was a class I went into without any doubts, that I knew I could pass with ease. The only reason I stopped taking biology and science classes, was because they weren't offered anymore. If I had entered college when I was 14, I would have majored in biology with dreams of becoming a field biologist, and I would have done well.
Then why the hell did I go into my introductory biology class this week with the mindset, "Oooooh, BiOloGy! This is going to be HARD for MEEEE, because I am naught but a silly humanities major. I am SCARED of mysterious ScIencEs!!!"
Stupid.
Stupid #2:
"I talked to Bob today, we are going to play film scores in band this fall. Yeah, I know... FILM SCORES... ha."
Again, 14 year old me would have peed with excitement, but for some reason snobby hipster me is too cool for that.
Things that are not Cool:
Liking band- band is dumb, you only take it because you have to, for your major, or scholarship or whatever. The songs are always boring, and we never play in tune, and O M G what a f*cking waste of time.
Liking to read for class- reading is BORING. I only do it because I have to, tuh you know... graduate and stuff, and I would SO much rather be somewhere else. HUh Huh! Like a party!
Enjoying talking to grown ups.
Enjoying the sciences if you are in humanities. Science people are REALLY smart, and really weird, I don't get 'em.
Not hating cafeteria food. *SIGH* I hate cafeteria food! It makes me sick, A'viands is so horrible and is never good ever.
...
Where has the motivated, excited Lily of my youth gone? Who is this lazy, disinterested slug?
All through my public education, biology was a class I went into without any doubts, that I knew I could pass with ease. The only reason I stopped taking biology and science classes, was because they weren't offered anymore. If I had entered college when I was 14, I would have majored in biology with dreams of becoming a field biologist, and I would have done well.
Then why the hell did I go into my introductory biology class this week with the mindset, "Oooooh, BiOloGy! This is going to be HARD for MEEEE, because I am naught but a silly humanities major. I am SCARED of mysterious ScIencEs!!!"
Stupid.
Stupid #2:
"I talked to Bob today, we are going to play film scores in band this fall. Yeah, I know... FILM SCORES... ha."
Again, 14 year old me would have peed with excitement, but for some reason snobby hipster me is too cool for that.
Things that are not Cool:
Liking band- band is dumb, you only take it because you have to, for your major, or scholarship or whatever. The songs are always boring, and we never play in tune, and O M G what a f*cking waste of time.
Liking to read for class- reading is BORING. I only do it because I have to, tuh you know... graduate and stuff, and I would SO much rather be somewhere else. HUh Huh! Like a party!
Enjoying talking to grown ups.
Enjoying the sciences if you are in humanities. Science people are REALLY smart, and really weird, I don't get 'em.
Not hating cafeteria food. *SIGH* I hate cafeteria food! It makes me sick, A'viands is so horrible and is never good ever.
...
Where has the motivated, excited Lily of my youth gone? Who is this lazy, disinterested slug?
1 comment:
Hell, if I did anything with me, I'd be excited.
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