WTF, Self?

Just now, while talking to my mother about various other dissonances in my life, I remembered something: I am good at biology.

All through my public education, biology was a class I went into without any doubts, that I knew I could pass with ease. The only reason I stopped taking biology and science classes, was because they weren't offered anymore. If I had entered college when I was 14, I would have majored in biology with dreams of becoming a field biologist, and I would have done well.

Then why the hell did I go into my introductory biology class this week with the mindset, "Oooooh, BiOloGy! This is going to be HARD for MEEEE, because I am naught but a silly humanities major. I am SCARED of mysterious ScIencEs!!!"

Stupid.

Stupid #2:

"I talked to Bob today, we are going to play film scores in band this fall. Yeah, I know... FILM SCORES... ha."

Again, 14 year old me would have peed with excitement, but for some reason snobby hipster me is too cool for that.

Things that are not Cool:

Liking band- band is dumb, you only take it because you have to, for your major, or scholarship or whatever. The songs are always boring, and we never play in tune, and O M G what a f*cking waste of time.

Liking to read for class- reading is BORING. I only do it because I have to, tuh you know... graduate and stuff, and I would SO much rather be somewhere else. HUh Huh! Like a party!

Enjoying talking to grown ups.

Enjoying the sciences if you are in humanities. Science people are REALLY smart, and really weird, I don't get 'em.

Not hating cafeteria food. *SIGH* I hate cafeteria food! It makes me sick, A'viands is so horrible and is never good ever.

...

Where has the motivated, excited Lily of my youth gone? Who is this lazy, disinterested slug?

FREE LAUNDRY

As a person who enjoys doing laundry, this is big news.

Gone are the days of watching my sock drawer grow scarce, while my laundry card remains barren.

!!!

And the machines are new too! They are very shiny, with light up buttons, and a detergent system that you pour from the outside. I also heard that they are especially energy efficient, which is even more awesome.

I am very excited.

~*~*~

I spent most of today with my amazing Augsem. We ate breakfast together, went to the opening convocation, and then went to the Minneapolis Indian Women's Resource Center. The MIWRC is a few blocks from Augsburg, and they provide many resources for American Indian women in this community. In particular, they provide help to single mothers, and victims of violence. Sal, the man who lead us in our service project, told us they recently spent a million and a half dollars fixing up their apartments which are rented out for rent based on wages.

Our job was to repaint the hallway and women's bathroom. It did not take us the whole time, and we had a good time getting to know eachother.

Later, I went to True Thai on Franklin with Colin because I felt like having one more splurge before classes start.

Erica and I filled out our roommate agreements. We are not going to have any problems.

I've spent the rest of the evening tidying, sorting and DOING LAUNDRY. I want to be all clean and organized as I begin my academic year.

Smells like autumn, text books and enthusiasm

I really don't like corny advertising slogans. I don't know why, they just tick me off. The McDonalds' bill board that says, "Our hot cakes are going like, well..." is an example, as well as the "Droid Does" ads (does? the next generation of does? like what? Deer? Yeah, I suppose that obscure black bill board with what looks like some red eyes could be something about a deer. Maybe it's a movie. ... OH! It could be does like it does stuff... right... because it's a phone or something... wait... that doesn't make sense either!)

However, I just discovered product descriptions that include two nouns and state of mind as a metaphor, invoke a chuckle 100% of the 2 times tested.

The first was a sticker on my deodorant when I bought Old Spice (I didn't feel like smelling like chemical flowers or babies). I still have it, it says, "Smells like ice, wind and freedom." Who wouldn't want to smell like ice, wind and freedom? I felt so POWERFUL.

The second occured minutes ago when I inspected my new can of Febreze air spray. My! What an interesting smell! I knew it was lavender and... maybe vanilla? let's see, "Lavender vanilla & comfort." (Comma ommission not mine).

Lavendervanilla and COMFORT! Why yes! That was what I smelled!

Today was the second day of Augsem training. It felt a lot shorter than yesterday, but probably because the first thing we did was run around campus on a scavenger hunt. I was on a team with two cool people I have seen all over, but never really met and we had a good time. We even won by a good ten minutes!

Then we had presentations on time management, which were helpful. They gave us all printed out copies of how our schedules fit in the week, and a calendar of the semester including breaks and important events. I am going to start filling mine out.

During our lunch break, I walked over to the book store to get a planner, and almost as soon as I got back, we found out that the prize for those of us who remembered to bring back our folders... was a new planner. I gave my free one to Aidan.

It is cold today. The last time I saw 65 in a weather report was in the overnight temperatures in August. Now we can only hope for HIGHS in the 60s. I like it a lot. I got to wear two sweaters.

When I got back to my room, Erica had been here, and cleaned up all my dishes and messes that I left ALL over, because I didn't expect her to be back until tomorrow. I did some more organization then, and now things are looking quite nice. We have a GREAT apartment, and I really feel ok calling it that. It's not like my, "on campus apartment."

Tomorrow I go to the Renaissance, and next week, Andrew and I are going to go check out the Unitarian Universalist church downtown. Auggie Days start tomorrow, and everyone else moves back on the 6th. One day after that, we start classes. I can't wait to meet my Augsem, do good work and to start playing in band again.

College blog honest, I have had some serious worries about coming back to school this year. I've struggled with what having a degree means, and with what I see myself doing in the future. I worried about coming back to all the people and the big city. I REALLY miss my parents and my home. The idea of "home" is conflicted, and I don't know what it is going to mean in 2 years. I am NOT very enthusiastic about the late nights and early mornings, derailed class discussions, uncomfortable social situations, stress and exhaustion.

In the last couple days though, I've been reminded of what kind of home this is. Maybe when I was in Ogilvie I was just too detached to remember what this place means, and what I could possibly be happy to do here, but now I get it. At least for now.

This could be a good year.

Back in room 1304

Well, here I am.

I moved back into my old room with Erica yesterday at three. My mom brought me, and we wheeled everything up on our big wheelie cart in just one trip. It didn't take long to get all my stuff unpacked and organized, then Erica went home for the last week of summer. I spent the evening reading American Gods, eating ramen, and watching Adult Swim. It was nice.

But it is weird, and I am a sensitive girl. I am not HOMESICK, but I really miss my parents. I already called my mom this morning, and my eyes well up just thinking about it.

Meanwhile, I am synthesizing the last 4 months since this was my room. Certain things trigger flashbacks good and weird. It is very comfortable and I do feel like this really is my apartment, not like a squatter, someone Erica found and was kind enough to give shelter.

Yesterday, we noted that many of the people who would come over to hang out in our room moved off campus this year. There will still be a handful of people around to say hi, but not as much as last semester. Plus, even if they are on campus, they are not next door or across the hall like before. Will this mean that we will be able to get more work done???

My biceps are sore from moving things yesterday, which considering all the bricks I moved earlier this summer, is pretty pathetic.

Technically, I am not even here yet. I am not supposed to move in until four o'clock today. Soon, I am going to go down to Res Life and see if maybe they could give me my key, since I am already here, and then I will go shopping. If they won't let me, I am going to stay here killing time. I wish I would have brought my guitar... maybe I can play my trumpet quietly...

I am listening to the Of Montreal that Sara gave me. She said that it's healthy. I like it.

I am not feeling as much like Holden Caufield today. I love that boy, and I don't think he is entirely to blame for my angst... but up until yesterday I was still cursing the phonies of the world. Cursing them all for following the expected routes, going to phony school to get phony degrees, in order to get phony jobs so they can buy big phony cars and houses. Luckily, I think that the Augsburg History and Women's Studies departments are least likely to turn one into a phony. At least not me.

The first thing we learned in Honors 120 was that we should question everything, and that includes academia. With that in mind, I feel better able to approach my college educated future.

So. I think that I have a lot to look forward to this year, and I will keep you posted.

American Gods

This post is to tell you how great a book, "American Gods" by Neil Gaiman is.

I am on page 372 of 588, and I don't think I have been this engrossed in a book of this size since the days of Redwall.

Usually, whenever I go somewhere, I bring my backpack, in which I keep everything I could possibly need in whatever situation of idleness or boredom. There's my journal, a wide selection of pens, letter paper, a sketch book, and a couple books to read for different moods.

Well, on the way back from Chicago, my leftovers leaked in my backpack, and I have yet to thoroughly clean it. Meanwhile, I am still out and about, but when it comes time to grab everything I could possibly need, I can just pick up American Gods and call it good. What else would I want? Nothing.

I am really happy that I will be able to have this book under my belt before school starts.

***Spoiler Warning***
Though it is just a speculation.

I THINK that Alison McGovern was taken as a sacrifice. Every year a kid has gone missing, and in winter. Why else would Lakeside be such a safe place for Shadow to be? Isn't Odin a winter guy?

Dun dun Dunnnnn!

Such a great book.

I'm just a poooor, wayfaring straangerrrrr...

Last weekend, Colin and I went to Chicago.

It started as an idea. I got to thinking about how it had been a while since I'd been able to look at a Tyrannosaurus Rex Skeleton, or a piece of rock from Mars, so I sent Colin a message on Facebook saying that we should go to Chicago someday.

There is a bus company out of Chicago that does express trips for really cheap. They advertise that you can get from Minneapolis to Chicago for a dollar. Our tickets were about $25, but still a good deal. Our bus would leave at 10:30pm and arrive at Union Station at 6:30 the next morning. One week ago, I drove to Colin's house, and we hung out until Friday evening, when I drove to Minneapolis and parked at Augsburg. We were able to briefly visit Paul at his new apartment and talk about how delicious goat meat is.

The Megabusses are pretty neat. They have two levels, and wifi internet. We almost didn't get on the bus, but when we did, we were able to get seats on the top. It didn't feel like I slept that much, but it also didn't feel like I was on a bus for 8 hours. We arrived ahead of schedule in downtown Chicago, and we embarked haphazardly. Seeing Chicago at 7 in the morning on a foggy, wet morning was excellent. No one was out and about, and we got to roam the empty streets. After a stop for breakfast at McDonalds.

Eventually, we decided that we should head up to Navy Pier. By this time, the joggers were out. There might have been a marathon or other similar event taking place, because all over there were groups of people moving in the same direction, and they all wore matching outfits.

... I should post pictures...

After Navy Pier, we headed to the Near North area of Chicago, where we ate some fruit at Starbucks and went exploring. We went into an Oriental Rug store where we touched rugs with price tags labeled up to $100,000! Then we found an architecture museum that we had to buzz from the street to get into. The museum itself was a couple rooms with architectural drawings on the walls. The drawings were of some Frank Lloyd Wright buildings, and I think the Sears Tower. The man in the museum was very helpful. He told us that we should check out Dearborn Ave, because it would be good to see if we liked buildings. He also referred to what we were doing as "backpacking." Until then I hadn't thought of us that way, but when I did, it was awesome.

Oh yeah.

The night before, when I had just got on the bus, I texted my wonderful cousin who I write letters with and who lives in Michigan that there was this great bus that I could get to Chicago on for pretty cheap, and that maybe we could meet in Chicago some time. She replied saying that she would be in Chicago the next day! Woah!

So we made plans to meet for dinner at 6:30. Our hotel was located about 10 miles from down town by the air port, and right at the end of the train line, so we got to try out the L Train! I don't think it was my first time on an L Train. I think Rita took me on one a long time ago. To get to our hotel, we had to walk through a delightful neighborhood of little rectangular houses. It was similar to Millwaukee Ave.

At one point, we smelled something delicious, and we figured that it came from inside one of the houses, but when we reached the end of the block, we discovered a 24 hour tamale stand! We got three. Yum.

Seeing my cousin was the greatest coincidence possible. We ate some really good Chicago pizza, and went our own ways.

That night, I fell asleep before my head hit the pillow.

The next day we had planned to go to the Art Museum and the Field Museum, but we got a late start in the morning. Instead, we briefly browsed the Gold Coast Art Show (didn't see anyone I knew) and then went to the Field Museum. It sucked up our time really fast, but it was lots of fun. I really love the halls of stuffed animals. My favorite animal was... the flamingos because their necks are so thin and bendy, and because there was a metal alligator with them. Or the puffins, seagulls, ocelot, or sperm whale jaw.

The special exhibit we chose was Underground and Soil themed. We "shrunk" to 100 times our normal size, and wandered among blazing star roots with grubs, earth worms and crayfish.

The museum closed before we got to see the hall of gems. We did get to see some Mars metal though.

By the time we walked all the way back to Union Station to check the bus stop location, we were pretty worn out. We were able to venture into the very edge of Greek Town for dinner.

Monday morning saw us safely back in Minneapolis.

Now I am at work. I spent Monday working and recovering, and Tuesday and Wednesday being lazy and trying not to believe that I will be moving back to school on Monday.

My feelings are very mixed, but I think that is a subject for another post.

Way Hey Hey, no Ordinary Day!

It is Sunday morning. I am sitting in the KBEK airstudio listening to the broadcast of this morning's service from Cambridge Lutheran. This has been my smoothest Sunday morning, probably ever. I was even able to edit the Pease service with only 2 extra minutes!

I got here at six, and shortly after Tony, a new guy from Cambridge arrived to be trained in. I never thought I'd be training someone in...

August.

After staying for most of July, Colin went home. It was fun having him around, and I think I am just now getting back into my pre-Colin routine. Hopefully, we will be taking the Megabus to Chicago next week!

I will share two cool and musical events.

First, on Friday I went to Sara's house for a jam session. Sara (Clarinet, guitar, piano), Lucas (piano, guitar) and Savannah (trombone, guitar) were there.We have had jam sessions before, but we really need a manager. We are all too easily distracted, and we never have a set plan for what we are going to do. Someday, I would like them to become actual band PRACTICES, but we did make progress this time.

We began by playing through a couple songs we'd done before, and then went our own ways for a while. Then, Lucas started playing chords on the piano, and Savannah joined him on accordion. When I felt brave enough, I joined on trumpet playing long notes in the chord. It reminded me of the graphic notation and crazy weird improv stuff we did in Jazz band last semester; play what you want, but with each other, and let things modulate naturally. Dynamics, articulation, even rhythm patterns. Major breakthroughs happened when we discovered the pre-set beats on Sara's keyboard. We put on a rhythm, and Lucas played the chords, then we just sat in our circle and PLAYED.

Suddenly, I synthesized (or at least started to) what people mean by "What key is it in?" and how to play along with that. It blew my mind how GOOD we actually sounded! We'd groove for a while until someone threw in a solo or a little riff, and then play off each other, or rest for a while.

It gave me hope for my own abilities, and the realistic possibility of actually being in a band one day. Today, when I go home, I am going to study blues guitar, and play my trumpet.

If I am not too tired from yesterday...

WHICH WAS AWESOME.

Second, yesterday was Irish Fair. My parents and I left the house at nine thirty to make it to Wyoming for the dedication of the Wyoming Public Library's new rain garden. My parents' band, "Second Fiddle" was providing music. I hung out in the library and ripped a pile of cds into my computer. I got lots of new stuff; Boston, Blonde on Blonde and another Bob Dylan album, Fleetwood Mac and a bunch more. I am most excited about the 5 or so "World Music" albums I got.

I've been wary of "World Music" because it feels like a lazy North American cop out, but recently I have really wanted to have more to listen to, and to study for my own music. Particularly, I wanted to learn about what modern French music is like, and different trumpet styles, but I was at a standstill because I didn't know where to start. WELL, I struck it rich.

Now I have World BLUES, Latin, Latin/African, New Orleans, Paris and some more. All of the artists are modern, and chosen to present the diversity, history, and culture surrounding the music today. I really can't wait to get home and study!

After the Library show, we left for the Cities. We got to Irish Fair around 5, and were able to wander around a bit. I ate DELICIOUS deep fried corned beef and cabbage rolls. Our neighbor goes to Irish Fair every year. She camps out and stays for each day. My dad noted how easy that would be to do, with everything there is to do! We watched some musical acts, and one dance show, but there were so many tents, with so many great things in each one! Story telling, seminars, dance lessons, sheep dogs, rugby...

In all of Irish Fair's glory, I was most excited for the last concert of the day, Great Big Sea.

Great Big Sea is a band from Newfoundland that I saw when I was 12 when my mom won tickets to a zoo concert from KVSC. I got one of their cds then, and it is still one of my favorites. I know all the words to every song on it. I saw them again on St. Patrick's day a couple years ago (won tickets again!).

I made it to the front of the audience to see them, and it was glorious. There was a little girl in a pink dress up on somebody's shoulders, she must have been about 3 years old and was singing along to every word too! Do you know how great it is to see a small child happily belting out rowdy pirate drinking songs?

I also thoroughly enjoyed how thoroughly joyous everyone there was. Even though it was a free concert at Irish Fair, and that many people might have just stuck around for the fun of it, when the band stopped singing, the whole audience could fill in the chorus. *shudder*

About half way through, it started raining. Lead singer and guitar player, Alan Doyle was glorious. I even heard some girls my age remark, "It's so beautiful, with the wind blowing through his hair while he sings!" I agreed whole heartedly. Even more so, when it was guitar solo time they shined the lights on the rain... I don't know how to properly express it... Long haired Canadian, electric guitar solo, IN THE RAIN, with thunder and lightning. !!!!!!!!!!!!

Joyous.