Taking a quick study break to share how great it feels to sit down to a project-In this case discussion notes and a book review of "A Voyager Out: The Life of Mary Kingsley" by Katherine Frank- and not have to think about ALL the other things I need to do, and just work.
I haven't even finished the book, but I feel good about my abilities, I have my discussion plotted out, and even though the Review part will be time consuming, I think I will be able to scrape that together in time too.
It is nice. People who I vent my frustrations to tell me that I need to find a place in my school work where I can really just ENJOY myself, and not worry about other things or people. All this time I've spent WORRYING about getting things done, and getting good grades, which then makes me start hating school, and even History... But then, to sit down over a good text, underline, organize, plot and analyze without thinking of time or "priorities," Wow.
I WILL do poorly on my Biology and French quizzes tomorrow, but I don't even mind if I can just turn this project IN. :)
Last night, I hung out with some people for a couple hours, and then when Erica and I returned to our room, we both stayed up until two. I scheduled my next week, and sent some important emails, but I also watched a whole episode of That 70s Show, because it has been a while, and really is at its best when enjoyed at odd hours.
I remember a time last summer, when I stayed up ALL night watching it, and then went for a run as the sun rose. Mmmm.
After I went to bed, I received a text message from an intriguing new person, who I met up with today.
Because I was up so late, I went to sleep after my 8am class, slept until 12:30, and didn't do anything but wile the way the hours on facebook until brass chamber. Then Jazz band, then RENDEVOUS.
Returned here after 6, shared my adventure with Hillary, and have since been in the Suite working away.
Going home tomorrow.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Friday, October 8, 2010
Opportunities, and another week
Whooo hooooo! What a week.
Stressed out sobbing days, followed by days of studious bliss, repeated haphazardly...
Monday, Tuesday, WEDNESDAY.
After Senate on Wednesday, I walked up Riverside to the KFAI studios for the second time. It is pledge week, so I showed up to answer phones. "Doug the Thug" who I met at the Cedar concert told me that I could record a spot too, but that finished at 9... so I answered phones... and by that, I mean I answered one call and registered one pledge of $20. Still, it was a great time. I met some of the other KFAI staff people, and was encouraged further to come back.
One man told me about work in the Legacy project, which is the result of government funding to promote culture and HISTORY. He said it's a big deal, and that people have gone on to MPR to make BIG bucks. If I pursue this energetically, the possibilities are endless. And it's great because I didn't even have to sign up for a program, or try to get scholarships or anything, I just went to a concert, and now here it is!
I am going to go back next wednesday and see if I can actually record a spot, and from there maybe figure out what kind of volunteer work I can devote myself to once pledge drive is over.
Another person told me about community radio in Melbourne, Australia. I had overheard his discussion with another woman about Australian "Americana." He gave me the names of three radio stations in Melbourne, one is an AM activist station, and the others are music based. I have yet to really look into them.
This is extraordinary because I hope to go to MELBOURNE for six weeks next summer to study, and I will therefore HAVE to try to visit these stations. GEE WHIZ! Thinking about it is exciting. Topkat, who I talked to, through following Australian community radio told me that he could couch surf from the top of Australia to the bottom based on his radio connections.
I know radio! Not in a scholarly, or professional way by any means... but I have real experience, and that counts for something? KBEK just happened for me, and this opportunity seems to have fallen in my lap as well... perhaps the universe is gently nudging me towards my vocation?
*Deep Breath
Who knows.
I got into a funk on Thursday, but I am hoping that has cleared up for a while. Meh. I am busy, and am only going to get busier. It's nothing I haven't done before, but the hard part is living up to my own expectations.
One way to start is by camping out in the Honor's Suite on a Friday night reading about Mary Kingsley. Yum.
I read nearly 50 pages (250 more to go by Wednesday).
Student Senate retreat tomorrow, followed by Jenny's Fall Party in the evening. Mpirg bike ride on Sunday afternoon, homework, and then Pirates of the Caribbean with band friends that night. The next couple days have potential.
Stressed out sobbing days, followed by days of studious bliss, repeated haphazardly...
Monday, Tuesday, WEDNESDAY.
After Senate on Wednesday, I walked up Riverside to the KFAI studios for the second time. It is pledge week, so I showed up to answer phones. "Doug the Thug" who I met at the Cedar concert told me that I could record a spot too, but that finished at 9... so I answered phones... and by that, I mean I answered one call and registered one pledge of $20. Still, it was a great time. I met some of the other KFAI staff people, and was encouraged further to come back.
One man told me about work in the Legacy project, which is the result of government funding to promote culture and HISTORY. He said it's a big deal, and that people have gone on to MPR to make BIG bucks. If I pursue this energetically, the possibilities are endless. And it's great because I didn't even have to sign up for a program, or try to get scholarships or anything, I just went to a concert, and now here it is!
I am going to go back next wednesday and see if I can actually record a spot, and from there maybe figure out what kind of volunteer work I can devote myself to once pledge drive is over.
Another person told me about community radio in Melbourne, Australia. I had overheard his discussion with another woman about Australian "Americana." He gave me the names of three radio stations in Melbourne, one is an AM activist station, and the others are music based. I have yet to really look into them.
This is extraordinary because I hope to go to MELBOURNE for six weeks next summer to study, and I will therefore HAVE to try to visit these stations. GEE WHIZ! Thinking about it is exciting. Topkat, who I talked to, through following Australian community radio told me that he could couch surf from the top of Australia to the bottom based on his radio connections.
I know radio! Not in a scholarly, or professional way by any means... but I have real experience, and that counts for something? KBEK just happened for me, and this opportunity seems to have fallen in my lap as well... perhaps the universe is gently nudging me towards my vocation?
*Deep Breath
Who knows.
I got into a funk on Thursday, but I am hoping that has cleared up for a while. Meh. I am busy, and am only going to get busier. It's nothing I haven't done before, but the hard part is living up to my own expectations.
One way to start is by camping out in the Honor's Suite on a Friday night reading about Mary Kingsley. Yum.
I read nearly 50 pages (250 more to go by Wednesday).
Student Senate retreat tomorrow, followed by Jenny's Fall Party in the evening. Mpirg bike ride on Sunday afternoon, homework, and then Pirates of the Caribbean with band friends that night. The next couple days have potential.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
The Last Three Weeks, a story of Independence and Adventure
October is definitely autumn. It smells like autumn, and I am even getting excited for winter.
Even though discussion of the weather is the last resort of the unimaginative (Wilde) It feels like a good starting point.
THE WEATHER IS BEAUTIFUL!
We have the windows in our apartment open for air circulation, and it's wonderful because we just cleaned. Now I can use my desk as a desk and not have to DIG to find anything. The apartment is looking really good, especially now that we have more things up on the walls. I am READY, at least domestically for school to really set in.
Oh, but shouldn't it have set in already? Where have I been?
Superficial small talk: I am doing all right in my classes, and I have been meeting lots of people. I say that I've "got the hang of it" but I actually don't know what that means. I know how classes work, and to take my vitamins, but I am not thriving. Or at least I am not living up to my own standards.
My Counselor at CCHP is making me come in and talk to her two weeks in a row... Does blogging about mental issues make me an emo kid? It IS part of my college experience, and the CCHP is a very valuable resource.
Doing School takes a lot of mental energy, and if that energy is scattered or negative success becomes difficult. So I am dealing with it.
That aside, Two weeks ago, I went to the Renaissance with Corinna and stayed the whole weekend. I had a GREAT time. Last week, I went home for the Sticks and Stones art and Cultural event VIII. I worked at the radio station both days, and spent the rest of the time hanging out at the History Center. This year, the headliner bands were Brian Wicklund (a great violinist) and Monroe Crossing (Bluegrass). I also got my face painted, and had a rock carved. I was really busy, but the weekend was fun.
On Sunday night, when I planned on coming back to school, we lost the car keys, and ended up watching Sense and Sensibility. My mother and I left the next morning, and I got to school just as my Monday-Friday alarm went off at 7am.
THIS weekend, I went to the Wilde Roast Cafe, the Mill City Farmers Market, the Cedar Cultural Center and the Unitarian Universalist church.
When I was 14-15, I found the Wilde Roast Cafe's website linked from Outfront Minnesota. I learned all about it. That it is a gay owned restaurant that strives to celebrate the extravegant, and FABULOUS life of Oscar Wilde. For the three years before college, I'd ask to visit every time we came near the cities. Then my first year, when I got on the wrong bus on the way to Codey's, I ended up RIGHT next to it. Still, it took me until now to get there.
I took the bus by myself to the end of the line, and went inside for the very first time. It took me a few moments to realize that I had been waiting for that moment for 5 years, then I couldn't stop smiling. The charming barista gave me my pumpkin pie with extra whipped cream and my "Wilde Carmel" specialty drink and told me that the chairs are PERFECT for studying in. I sat down by the door in a beautiful brocade chair and read about Buddism. (I sat in the chair and knew that I was sitting in the chair, and when I tasted my pumpkin pie with extra whipped cream, I knew that I was tasting my pumpkin pie with extra whipped cream, and when I felt sheer JOY at being in that place, I knew that I was feeling sheer joy at being in that place). Everytime someone came in, I could smell the winter air, and I saw that it was good. I will be back.
When I got back, I went to Anderson where Jenny and some others were playing Mad Gab and Scattagories. I played for a while, and then upon discovery of fire trucks and evacuation of Mort, I walked over to Boulder Court to see what was going on there. An impromtu get together happened, and I ended up hanging out with some really cool people. A couple of whom I hadn't talked to in a long time, and it was fun to discover common ground.
Saturday morning, I woke up early and went to the Mill City Farmers Market with Colin. I invited my Augsem, but no one took the bait. It worked out though. I bought some good smelling soap.
Later, I thought to myself, "I like folk music. I wonder what kind of folk music scene there is in Minneapolis." Turns out that Cedar Riverside is where it is at! I decided to go to a concert at the Cedar Cultural Center. No one who I thought might want to go with me could go with me, so I went by myself. I knew nothing about the performers beyond brief scans of their facebook pages, and I had never been to the Cedar Cultural Center before.
Boy, have I been missing out! That beautiful place has been there all along, and it took me TWO years to get there.
The first band was "The Sunny Era" and I am listening to the Cd that I bought right now... On my music player, the genre says "Rock" but that's not quite accurate. It's gypsy folkish. GREAT! Then it was "The Poor Nobodys" who just released a new cd. I didn't like them as much... and finally, it was the "Brass Messengers," an Eastern European Brass Dance Band. I danced a plenty. SO GREAT!
Then, it just so happens that I sat behind a KFAI dj, who invited me to the studio after the show to take advantage of free pledge drive pizza. KFAI is mostly volunteer, and they said that I could come in and read the news! !!!
Today, I went to the Unitarian church again, and it was good. I would write more, but I am sleepy. Then Erica and I cleaned the apartment, and now I am going to take a nap.
Even though discussion of the weather is the last resort of the unimaginative (Wilde) It feels like a good starting point.
THE WEATHER IS BEAUTIFUL!
We have the windows in our apartment open for air circulation, and it's wonderful because we just cleaned. Now I can use my desk as a desk and not have to DIG to find anything. The apartment is looking really good, especially now that we have more things up on the walls. I am READY, at least domestically for school to really set in.
Oh, but shouldn't it have set in already? Where have I been?
Superficial small talk: I am doing all right in my classes, and I have been meeting lots of people. I say that I've "got the hang of it" but I actually don't know what that means. I know how classes work, and to take my vitamins, but I am not thriving. Or at least I am not living up to my own standards.
My Counselor at CCHP is making me come in and talk to her two weeks in a row... Does blogging about mental issues make me an emo kid? It IS part of my college experience, and the CCHP is a very valuable resource.
Doing School takes a lot of mental energy, and if that energy is scattered or negative success becomes difficult. So I am dealing with it.
That aside, Two weeks ago, I went to the Renaissance with Corinna and stayed the whole weekend. I had a GREAT time. Last week, I went home for the Sticks and Stones art and Cultural event VIII. I worked at the radio station both days, and spent the rest of the time hanging out at the History Center. This year, the headliner bands were Brian Wicklund (a great violinist) and Monroe Crossing (Bluegrass). I also got my face painted, and had a rock carved. I was really busy, but the weekend was fun.
On Sunday night, when I planned on coming back to school, we lost the car keys, and ended up watching Sense and Sensibility. My mother and I left the next morning, and I got to school just as my Monday-Friday alarm went off at 7am.
THIS weekend, I went to the Wilde Roast Cafe, the Mill City Farmers Market, the Cedar Cultural Center and the Unitarian Universalist church.
When I was 14-15, I found the Wilde Roast Cafe's website linked from Outfront Minnesota. I learned all about it. That it is a gay owned restaurant that strives to celebrate the extravegant, and FABULOUS life of Oscar Wilde. For the three years before college, I'd ask to visit every time we came near the cities. Then my first year, when I got on the wrong bus on the way to Codey's, I ended up RIGHT next to it. Still, it took me until now to get there.
I took the bus by myself to the end of the line, and went inside for the very first time. It took me a few moments to realize that I had been waiting for that moment for 5 years, then I couldn't stop smiling. The charming barista gave me my pumpkin pie with extra whipped cream and my "Wilde Carmel" specialty drink and told me that the chairs are PERFECT for studying in. I sat down by the door in a beautiful brocade chair and read about Buddism. (I sat in the chair and knew that I was sitting in the chair, and when I tasted my pumpkin pie with extra whipped cream, I knew that I was tasting my pumpkin pie with extra whipped cream, and when I felt sheer JOY at being in that place, I knew that I was feeling sheer joy at being in that place). Everytime someone came in, I could smell the winter air, and I saw that it was good. I will be back.
When I got back, I went to Anderson where Jenny and some others were playing Mad Gab and Scattagories. I played for a while, and then upon discovery of fire trucks and evacuation of Mort, I walked over to Boulder Court to see what was going on there. An impromtu get together happened, and I ended up hanging out with some really cool people. A couple of whom I hadn't talked to in a long time, and it was fun to discover common ground.
Saturday morning, I woke up early and went to the Mill City Farmers Market with Colin. I invited my Augsem, but no one took the bait. It worked out though. I bought some good smelling soap.
Later, I thought to myself, "I like folk music. I wonder what kind of folk music scene there is in Minneapolis." Turns out that Cedar Riverside is where it is at! I decided to go to a concert at the Cedar Cultural Center. No one who I thought might want to go with me could go with me, so I went by myself. I knew nothing about the performers beyond brief scans of their facebook pages, and I had never been to the Cedar Cultural Center before.
Boy, have I been missing out! That beautiful place has been there all along, and it took me TWO years to get there.
The first band was "The Sunny Era" and I am listening to the Cd that I bought right now... On my music player, the genre says "Rock" but that's not quite accurate. It's gypsy folkish. GREAT! Then it was "The Poor Nobodys" who just released a new cd. I didn't like them as much... and finally, it was the "Brass Messengers," an Eastern European Brass Dance Band. I danced a plenty. SO GREAT!
Then, it just so happens that I sat behind a KFAI dj, who invited me to the studio after the show to take advantage of free pledge drive pizza. KFAI is mostly volunteer, and they said that I could come in and read the news! !!!
Today, I went to the Unitarian church again, and it was good. I would write more, but I am sleepy. Then Erica and I cleaned the apartment, and now I am going to take a nap.
Friday, September 10, 2010
WTF, Self?
Just now, while talking to my mother about various other dissonances in my life, I remembered something: I am good at biology.
All through my public education, biology was a class I went into without any doubts, that I knew I could pass with ease. The only reason I stopped taking biology and science classes, was because they weren't offered anymore. If I had entered college when I was 14, I would have majored in biology with dreams of becoming a field biologist, and I would have done well.
Then why the hell did I go into my introductory biology class this week with the mindset, "Oooooh, BiOloGy! This is going to be HARD for MEEEE, because I am naught but a silly humanities major. I am SCARED of mysterious ScIencEs!!!"
Stupid.
Stupid #2:
"I talked to Bob today, we are going to play film scores in band this fall. Yeah, I know... FILM SCORES... ha."
Again, 14 year old me would have peed with excitement, but for some reason snobby hipster me is too cool for that.
Things that are not Cool:
Liking band- band is dumb, you only take it because you have to, for your major, or scholarship or whatever. The songs are always boring, and we never play in tune, and O M G what a f*cking waste of time.
Liking to read for class- reading is BORING. I only do it because I have to, tuh you know... graduate and stuff, and I would SO much rather be somewhere else. HUh Huh! Like a party!
Enjoying talking to grown ups.
Enjoying the sciences if you are in humanities. Science people are REALLY smart, and really weird, I don't get 'em.
Not hating cafeteria food. *SIGH* I hate cafeteria food! It makes me sick, A'viands is so horrible and is never good ever.
...
Where has the motivated, excited Lily of my youth gone? Who is this lazy, disinterested slug?
All through my public education, biology was a class I went into without any doubts, that I knew I could pass with ease. The only reason I stopped taking biology and science classes, was because they weren't offered anymore. If I had entered college when I was 14, I would have majored in biology with dreams of becoming a field biologist, and I would have done well.
Then why the hell did I go into my introductory biology class this week with the mindset, "Oooooh, BiOloGy! This is going to be HARD for MEEEE, because I am naught but a silly humanities major. I am SCARED of mysterious ScIencEs!!!"
Stupid.
Stupid #2:
"I talked to Bob today, we are going to play film scores in band this fall. Yeah, I know... FILM SCORES... ha."
Again, 14 year old me would have peed with excitement, but for some reason snobby hipster me is too cool for that.
Things that are not Cool:
Liking band- band is dumb, you only take it because you have to, for your major, or scholarship or whatever. The songs are always boring, and we never play in tune, and O M G what a f*cking waste of time.
Liking to read for class- reading is BORING. I only do it because I have to, tuh you know... graduate and stuff, and I would SO much rather be somewhere else. HUh Huh! Like a party!
Enjoying talking to grown ups.
Enjoying the sciences if you are in humanities. Science people are REALLY smart, and really weird, I don't get 'em.
Not hating cafeteria food. *SIGH* I hate cafeteria food! It makes me sick, A'viands is so horrible and is never good ever.
...
Where has the motivated, excited Lily of my youth gone? Who is this lazy, disinterested slug?
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
FREE LAUNDRY
As a person who enjoys doing laundry, this is big news.
Gone are the days of watching my sock drawer grow scarce, while my laundry card remains barren.
!!!
And the machines are new too! They are very shiny, with light up buttons, and a detergent system that you pour from the outside. I also heard that they are especially energy efficient, which is even more awesome.
I am very excited.
~*~*~
I spent most of today with my amazing Augsem. We ate breakfast together, went to the opening convocation, and then went to the Minneapolis Indian Women's Resource Center. The MIWRC is a few blocks from Augsburg, and they provide many resources for American Indian women in this community. In particular, they provide help to single mothers, and victims of violence. Sal, the man who lead us in our service project, told us they recently spent a million and a half dollars fixing up their apartments which are rented out for rent based on wages.
Our job was to repaint the hallway and women's bathroom. It did not take us the whole time, and we had a good time getting to know eachother.
Later, I went to True Thai on Franklin with Colin because I felt like having one more splurge before classes start.
Erica and I filled out our roommate agreements. We are not going to have any problems.
I've spent the rest of the evening tidying, sorting and DOING LAUNDRY. I want to be all clean and organized as I begin my academic year.
Gone are the days of watching my sock drawer grow scarce, while my laundry card remains barren.
!!!
And the machines are new too! They are very shiny, with light up buttons, and a detergent system that you pour from the outside. I also heard that they are especially energy efficient, which is even more awesome.
I am very excited.
~*~*~
I spent most of today with my amazing Augsem. We ate breakfast together, went to the opening convocation, and then went to the Minneapolis Indian Women's Resource Center. The MIWRC is a few blocks from Augsburg, and they provide many resources for American Indian women in this community. In particular, they provide help to single mothers, and victims of violence. Sal, the man who lead us in our service project, told us they recently spent a million and a half dollars fixing up their apartments which are rented out for rent based on wages.
Our job was to repaint the hallway and women's bathroom. It did not take us the whole time, and we had a good time getting to know eachother.
Later, I went to True Thai on Franklin with Colin because I felt like having one more splurge before classes start.
Erica and I filled out our roommate agreements. We are not going to have any problems.
I've spent the rest of the evening tidying, sorting and DOING LAUNDRY. I want to be all clean and organized as I begin my academic year.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Smells like autumn, text books and enthusiasm
I really don't like corny advertising slogans. I don't know why, they just tick me off. The McDonalds' bill board that says, "Our hot cakes are going like, well..." is an example, as well as the "Droid Does" ads (does? the next generation of does? like what? Deer? Yeah, I suppose that obscure black bill board with what looks like some red eyes could be something about a deer. Maybe it's a movie. ... OH! It could be does like it does stuff... right... because it's a phone or something... wait... that doesn't make sense either!)
However, I just discovered product descriptions that include two nouns and state of mind as a metaphor, invoke a chuckle 100% of the 2 times tested.
The first was a sticker on my deodorant when I bought Old Spice (I didn't feel like smelling like chemical flowers or babies). I still have it, it says, "Smells like ice, wind and freedom." Who wouldn't want to smell like ice, wind and freedom? I felt so POWERFUL.
The second occured minutes ago when I inspected my new can of Febreze air spray. My! What an interesting smell! I knew it was lavender and... maybe vanilla? let's see, "Lavender vanilla & comfort." (Comma ommission not mine).
Lavendervanilla and COMFORT! Why yes! That was what I smelled!
Today was the second day of Augsem training. It felt a lot shorter than yesterday, but probably because the first thing we did was run around campus on a scavenger hunt. I was on a team with two cool people I have seen all over, but never really met and we had a good time. We even won by a good ten minutes!
Then we had presentations on time management, which were helpful. They gave us all printed out copies of how our schedules fit in the week, and a calendar of the semester including breaks and important events. I am going to start filling mine out.
During our lunch break, I walked over to the book store to get a planner, and almost as soon as I got back, we found out that the prize for those of us who remembered to bring back our folders... was a new planner. I gave my free one to Aidan.
It is cold today. The last time I saw 65 in a weather report was in the overnight temperatures in August. Now we can only hope for HIGHS in the 60s. I like it a lot. I got to wear two sweaters.
When I got back to my room, Erica had been here, and cleaned up all my dishes and messes that I left ALL over, because I didn't expect her to be back until tomorrow. I did some more organization then, and now things are looking quite nice. We have a GREAT apartment, and I really feel ok calling it that. It's not like my, "on campus apartment."
Tomorrow I go to the Renaissance, and next week, Andrew and I are going to go check out the Unitarian Universalist church downtown. Auggie Days start tomorrow, and everyone else moves back on the 6th. One day after that, we start classes. I can't wait to meet my Augsem, do good work and to start playing in band again.
College blog honest, I have had some serious worries about coming back to school this year. I've struggled with what having a degree means, and with what I see myself doing in the future. I worried about coming back to all the people and the big city. I REALLY miss my parents and my home. The idea of "home" is conflicted, and I don't know what it is going to mean in 2 years. I am NOT very enthusiastic about the late nights and early mornings, derailed class discussions, uncomfortable social situations, stress and exhaustion.
In the last couple days though, I've been reminded of what kind of home this is. Maybe when I was in Ogilvie I was just too detached to remember what this place means, and what I could possibly be happy to do here, but now I get it. At least for now.
This could be a good year.
However, I just discovered product descriptions that include two nouns and state of mind as a metaphor, invoke a chuckle 100% of the 2 times tested.
The first was a sticker on my deodorant when I bought Old Spice (I didn't feel like smelling like chemical flowers or babies). I still have it, it says, "Smells like ice, wind and freedom." Who wouldn't want to smell like ice, wind and freedom? I felt so POWERFUL.
The second occured minutes ago when I inspected my new can of Febreze air spray. My! What an interesting smell! I knew it was lavender and... maybe vanilla? let's see, "Lavender vanilla & comfort." (Comma ommission not mine).
Lavendervanilla and COMFORT! Why yes! That was what I smelled!
Today was the second day of Augsem training. It felt a lot shorter than yesterday, but probably because the first thing we did was run around campus on a scavenger hunt. I was on a team with two cool people I have seen all over, but never really met and we had a good time. We even won by a good ten minutes!
Then we had presentations on time management, which were helpful. They gave us all printed out copies of how our schedules fit in the week, and a calendar of the semester including breaks and important events. I am going to start filling mine out.
During our lunch break, I walked over to the book store to get a planner, and almost as soon as I got back, we found out that the prize for those of us who remembered to bring back our folders... was a new planner. I gave my free one to Aidan.
It is cold today. The last time I saw 65 in a weather report was in the overnight temperatures in August. Now we can only hope for HIGHS in the 60s. I like it a lot. I got to wear two sweaters.
When I got back to my room, Erica had been here, and cleaned up all my dishes and messes that I left ALL over, because I didn't expect her to be back until tomorrow. I did some more organization then, and now things are looking quite nice. We have a GREAT apartment, and I really feel ok calling it that. It's not like my, "on campus apartment."
Tomorrow I go to the Renaissance, and next week, Andrew and I are going to go check out the Unitarian Universalist church downtown. Auggie Days start tomorrow, and everyone else moves back on the 6th. One day after that, we start classes. I can't wait to meet my Augsem, do good work and to start playing in band again.
College blog honest, I have had some serious worries about coming back to school this year. I've struggled with what having a degree means, and with what I see myself doing in the future. I worried about coming back to all the people and the big city. I REALLY miss my parents and my home. The idea of "home" is conflicted, and I don't know what it is going to mean in 2 years. I am NOT very enthusiastic about the late nights and early mornings, derailed class discussions, uncomfortable social situations, stress and exhaustion.
In the last couple days though, I've been reminded of what kind of home this is. Maybe when I was in Ogilvie I was just too detached to remember what this place means, and what I could possibly be happy to do here, but now I get it. At least for now.
This could be a good year.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Back in room 1304
Well, here I am.
I moved back into my old room with Erica yesterday at three. My mom brought me, and we wheeled everything up on our big wheelie cart in just one trip. It didn't take long to get all my stuff unpacked and organized, then Erica went home for the last week of summer. I spent the evening reading American Gods, eating ramen, and watching Adult Swim. It was nice.
But it is weird, and I am a sensitive girl. I am not HOMESICK, but I really miss my parents. I already called my mom this morning, and my eyes well up just thinking about it.
Meanwhile, I am synthesizing the last 4 months since this was my room. Certain things trigger flashbacks good and weird. It is very comfortable and I do feel like this really is my apartment, not like a squatter, someone Erica found and was kind enough to give shelter.
Yesterday, we noted that many of the people who would come over to hang out in our room moved off campus this year. There will still be a handful of people around to say hi, but not as much as last semester. Plus, even if they are on campus, they are not next door or across the hall like before. Will this mean that we will be able to get more work done???
My biceps are sore from moving things yesterday, which considering all the bricks I moved earlier this summer, is pretty pathetic.
Technically, I am not even here yet. I am not supposed to move in until four o'clock today. Soon, I am going to go down to Res Life and see if maybe they could give me my key, since I am already here, and then I will go shopping. If they won't let me, I am going to stay here killing time. I wish I would have brought my guitar... maybe I can play my trumpet quietly...
I am listening to the Of Montreal that Sara gave me. She said that it's healthy. I like it.
I am not feeling as much like Holden Caufield today. I love that boy, and I don't think he is entirely to blame for my angst... but up until yesterday I was still cursing the phonies of the world. Cursing them all for following the expected routes, going to phony school to get phony degrees, in order to get phony jobs so they can buy big phony cars and houses. Luckily, I think that the Augsburg History and Women's Studies departments are least likely to turn one into a phony. At least not me.
The first thing we learned in Honors 120 was that we should question everything, and that includes academia. With that in mind, I feel better able to approach my college educated future.
So. I think that I have a lot to look forward to this year, and I will keep you posted.
I moved back into my old room with Erica yesterday at three. My mom brought me, and we wheeled everything up on our big wheelie cart in just one trip. It didn't take long to get all my stuff unpacked and organized, then Erica went home for the last week of summer. I spent the evening reading American Gods, eating ramen, and watching Adult Swim. It was nice.
But it is weird, and I am a sensitive girl. I am not HOMESICK, but I really miss my parents. I already called my mom this morning, and my eyes well up just thinking about it.
Meanwhile, I am synthesizing the last 4 months since this was my room. Certain things trigger flashbacks good and weird. It is very comfortable and I do feel like this really is my apartment, not like a squatter, someone Erica found and was kind enough to give shelter.
Yesterday, we noted that many of the people who would come over to hang out in our room moved off campus this year. There will still be a handful of people around to say hi, but not as much as last semester. Plus, even if they are on campus, they are not next door or across the hall like before. Will this mean that we will be able to get more work done???
My biceps are sore from moving things yesterday, which considering all the bricks I moved earlier this summer, is pretty pathetic.
Technically, I am not even here yet. I am not supposed to move in until four o'clock today. Soon, I am going to go down to Res Life and see if maybe they could give me my key, since I am already here, and then I will go shopping. If they won't let me, I am going to stay here killing time. I wish I would have brought my guitar... maybe I can play my trumpet quietly...
I am listening to the Of Montreal that Sara gave me. She said that it's healthy. I like it.
I am not feeling as much like Holden Caufield today. I love that boy, and I don't think he is entirely to blame for my angst... but up until yesterday I was still cursing the phonies of the world. Cursing them all for following the expected routes, going to phony school to get phony degrees, in order to get phony jobs so they can buy big phony cars and houses. Luckily, I think that the Augsburg History and Women's Studies departments are least likely to turn one into a phony. At least not me.
The first thing we learned in Honors 120 was that we should question everything, and that includes academia. With that in mind, I feel better able to approach my college educated future.
So. I think that I have a lot to look forward to this year, and I will keep you posted.
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