Skin Graft

I guess it's been almost a week since my last blog, for this I appologize. This last week has been one jam packed with all kinds of things, particularily tests. On the upside, throughout this last week, I was able to come through to Sunday CAUGHT UP! Now of course there is more to do, but at least it's CURRENT work, and not last week's.

Soua is still sleeping! I am so proud of her. Normally she doesn't come back until late (after I go to sleep) And she's usually awake not long after I go to class at eight, which I don't think must be very pleasant. I'm glad that she's getting all the sleep she deserves.

That all aside now, I must tell of my weekend.

After 41 solid days as an Auggie, I went back to my old stomping grounds... and I found out that it was very very strange. Dad picked me up after World Politics Friday morning, and we "Ran Into" Anthony at Hard Times. It was nice to see Anthony, even though there wasn't much to talk about... at least on my part. He lives around here, and he gave me his card so I could contact him, but I haven't done that yet. Then Home.

The ride was full of beautiful changing leaves, that I am glad I was able to see. Upon arriving in Ogilvie, I drove to the school (I still remember how to drive!) Unbeknownst to me however, it had been an early out, and all the teachers were in meetings. I was only able to talk to Mrs. Erickson and Mrs. Dixon a little before I had to go. Being in there though was enough for me to see that life still goes on, and everything exists without me. The teachers teach, the students are asses ("Lily! Did you go out with Chris?!" Stuff like that... kids making out, being insensitive... all of it.) There was so much I wanted to tell all my teachers, but I didn't get to a fraction of it. It was still fun to answer all of their questions, "How is college?" "Do you like your teachers?" "Are your classes hard?" "How about your room mate?" "What's up with Speech Boy?"

After Homecoming Pep Band (I guess we won) Sara, Megan and I went to Sara's house for free pizza and nostalgia. Sara's living room... my oh my... We didn't have much time, because Megan had to get home to sleep before her swim meet the next day, but all of the sudden everything clicked back into place.

That's where I feel like a skin graft. I've been removed from my original body, and placed on a new one. My stitches aren't even off on the new one, and the wound is still sensitive and fragile, yet already the spot where I came from is healed over enough that it is impossible for me to be part of it again. ... though it's still where I want to be.

Especially after working at KBEK on Saturday. Just going in there and Seeing Scott and Colleen had me nearly in tears! I WAS in tears! I love it there, I love my home! Everything about it is familiar and comfortable, I want to go back. How easy would it be to just slip right back into that mode; working, volunteering, reading books, living, just like before! But because it's already healing behind me, I can't.

Saturday night-or early morning, whatever you think 12:15am should be- was weird too. I was at Sara's after watching Hair (which is NOT a feel good movie) and it was time to go... there I was, in Sara's kitchen just like always... but I knew that soon I would be going back to my new world, and Sara to her's, where we are both starting to have new friends and lifestyles, unknown to eachother. Sara doesn't know Ben, Jenny, Marrta and Andrew, I don't know Ian, Julia, or Cullan... She doesn't know the glory of Augsem Q, and I cringe at the thought of music theory... What worries me the most is that after going back and seeing my old life, it will be easier for me to fully disconnect from it... which is necessary... but when will I realize that I don't need Sara anymore? Or my parents? Or the teachers who were awesome?

Or Gravel, or rat snakes, bunnies and obnoxious pets?

But just the same, when I got back here yesterday morning, THIS clicked back into place. Augsburg. It isn't fully my natural habitat yet, but it definitely is right, so that gives me comfort.

Things are going well.